Star Wars: A New Beginning
by Evangel10n
Summary: Rey and Kylo Ren were destined to be arch enemies for life, but that all changed when he killed Snoke and saving her. These two have to accept that they are Force-bonded and eventually open up to each other after a crash landing. Each bares their pain, their trauma, and ultimately their souls in a whirlwind of chaos. Follow their story of love, pain, loss, and redemption.
1. Chapter 1: A New Beginning

Chapter 1: A New Beginning (Updated 09-22-2019)

Rey lay in her bunk of the Millennium Falcon curled under a wool blanket asleep. Her hands clenched the scratchy material to her chest as she began to toss her head at the images of the memory of that fateful night on Snoke's ship, the Supremacy. The nightmare continued even though she tried to will it away. She did not want to reliv_e _Snoke's desecrating hold. _Kylo Ren stands behind her as Snoke Force holds Rey in place, searching every dark corner of her mind in hopes of finding the key to the Resistance. The presence of his mind defiles those things Rey never dare share with anyone. Thoughts of abandonment, fear, and most of all loneliness scour her mind, open to the Supreme Leader Snoke. Snoke searched her life, wanting to find her weakness. Images, no, memories of her as a girl flash before her. She is back on Jakku. The wind is blowing sand around her as she squinted up at the sky. Her parents left her there almost two years ago, but she stands there, looking up with fear and sadness. Rey was starving, her bones were beginning to peek through underneath her skin. Adjusting to life on Jakku, left her helpless. She was only a little girl, rummaging through old starships from the Battle of Jakku, unable to fend for herself. The little girl barely found enough reclaimed items in exchange for food. She was lucky if she got one portion from the Crolute. Rey licked her dry and flaking lips as the barren desert sun blared down at her. Even though she was abandoned, she always looked to the sky in hopes someone would come and whisk her away for an adventure through the stars. Hope was all that Rey ever had in her life, the hope that her parents would come back for her. So, she kept searching for lost treasures for the Crolute even though she felt the effects of starvation, she knew she had to keep going._

_The images flash to two scavengers that showed mercy to the starving child, Ivano Troade and an Aqualish named Marshra. The two employed her, fed her. Such kindness was a rarity on the planet where every man was for himself. As her skills as a Jakku scavenger grew, she realized that she did not need their mercy and kindness any longer. At this time Rey was older and could fend for herself. She began to work alone. Later, Rey found a downed AT-AT on the reaches of the desert and made it her shelter. She scavenged the machine for parts, learning the mechanics and how it worked. All that time on Jakku hardened her, marked by etches carved into the steel walls of the ancient AT-AT to count the days waiting for her parents taught her how to survive. Plutt noticed the girl's uncanny ability to find hidden treasures from the ships of the Galactic Civil War and made it clear that she is not to be touched due to her pure talent. But she did not need it, she had gained the reputation from her ability to use her quarterstaff. Snoke moved on within her memories to when she found a helmet that belonged to a pilot. He could see her putting it on her head running around pretending to fly across the galaxy on wild adventures with a cloth doll she made out of a tattered uniform. But when Rey was older she could not discard the items, serving as a reminder at how far she had come on the barren planet of Jakku._

_The image shifted to her on an old computer learning a range of alien dialects to even binary languages for droids. The computer had flight simulations that taught her how to fly, and schematics of old ships that trained her as a pilot. All of these things made Rey into the young woman she is, a skilled mechanic, linguist, fighter, and pilot. The day that the defected stormtrooper began to play in front of Snoke and Rey. It was just an ordinary day. She was eating her portion she earned that previous day when she heard a noise from an astromech droid and rushed toward the commotion with her staff in hand. She found the droid, BB-8, had been captured by a Teedo scavenger. Rescuing the droid she learned it had been captured by the First Order and was on a classified mission for the Resistance. The next day they had set out for the Niima Outpost, being attacked by a band of scavengers. They wanted the droid. Rey managed to make two of them crash their speeders and tricked the third. Finally making it to Unkar Plutt's booth she offered a pile of scrap. He did not bargain many portions in exchange for the scrap, but he wagered sixty for the droid. She was tempted for half a second at the exorbitant amount of food offered, but she could not let herself. _

_Snoke let the memory play out because this day, he knew, was the day that the Force had awoken within her. Plutt did not like being told no, especially by this girl. He sicced his thugs on her and the astromech droid. A fight ensued, Rey and BB-8 ran through the outpost trying to fend off the thugs. During the fight, BB-8 caught a glimpse of a man wearing a jacket that belongs to it's master and alerted Rey. The man ran off as Rey chased him, but being knowledgeable of the Niima Outpost and having a natural inclination for combat, she cornered the man. She found out that his name was Finn and that he was with the Resistance. He explained that he saved a man named Poe Dameron and was helping him find a map to find a Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. During the course of the conversation, they were spotted by a group of stormtroopers on a mission to find the valuable droid. Fleeing the stormtroopers they were attacked by TIE-Fighters. Snoke had seen all he wanted to see. Rey is snapped out of the memories of her time spent on Jakku. She begins to cry and falls to her knees. Feeling the darkness to latch on to her memories. Rey strains against Snoke's hold, feeling him clutch her being tighten._

_"I see," Snoke coughs a deathly cough as he contemplates the images, still holding Rey. "A nobody from Jakku, a sad and pathetic little girl. Left alone, to die in a desert." Tears run down her face as she struggles to fight against Snoke's tight grip. She feels as though her mind is being ripped apart at the seams. Her hand shoots out trying in earnest to use the force to pull the lightsaber to her hand, but Snoke is too powerful. Kylo Ren stands, fighting inner turmoil as he watches this stupid girl fight against his master. He knows he should let her die, but something, deep, deep down tells him that this is not the way Rey is to die. Kylo's fingers twitch willing the Force against the lightsaber that sits to the left of Snoke. It twitches, slightly, silently as it turned towards Snoke. It ignites in a fiery rage and slices through Snoke's torso, ripping and cauterizing as it goes. Snoke's hold on Rey drops as Rey falls to her knee as the Red Guard advances. Rey breathless and confused stands slowly, looking at Kylo Ren's black eyes. The bond tugs between them and Rey knows what they need to do. Rey summons her lightsaber, still burning next to Snoke's dead body. She twirls the handle in her hand. An angry cry escapes her as she rushes the Red Guard, Kylo in suit._

* * *

"Rey…" It's Kylo. The scene of that night stops as she shifts in her bed. Her eyes open to the dark, nothing is there. She swings her legs over the edge of the bunk. The automated lights switch-on. His voice haunts her mind. Something so sad and scared lingers in his voice. Looking up she sees something dark shift in the corner of her eye. She summons her light staff into her palm. Hitting with a hollow slap. She jumps out of her bunk.

"Rey…" The haunting voice calls again, Kylo, there, sitting on the floor looking at his hands in terror. She is taken aback by this image of him. Never seeing him like this, his hair is wet and pressed to his face. His eyes not daring to meet hers. This is so unlike his cold, composed image he portrays. Rey stands there, glaring down at him, reliving his evil trespasses over in her mind. Anger began to creep on the tips of her ears. Her chest rising and falling in heavy, short breaths. She closed her eyes as she took deep breaths to balance her mind.

"Why are you here, _snake_?" She spits out. The bond tugs at her chest. A wave of terror, sadness, and guilt washes over Rey like a wave crashing over a cliffside, forcing her to her knees. The air was forced out of her lungs as she hit the floor in front of him. His eyes slowly peer up at her through his dark wet locks. His eyes burn with sadness.

"Rey, I- I am so scared…" his voice is soft and honest. She shifts her weight as her hand softly reaches out to the sad creature before her. She does not even think about what she is doing before she does it. It is her nature to reach out to people in need, always. Even treacherous, murderous snakes. Her hand falls back to the ground. He looks so raw. She swallows nervously. Her hand began to rise again as their eyes locked into each other. Kylo's hand slowly rises to meet her, their eyes never faltering. The soft pads of her fingers meet his as quiet gasp escapes them. Their minds connect. _Images of Ben, the real Ben as a boy. Leia is smiling down at him as she brushes his unruly, curly hair out of his eyes. She feels the love between him and his mother. The pure love shared echoed through the bond they share that tugs at her heart. The next image comes too fast. Han Solo is staring at him. They stood on the grated metal bridge of the thermal oscillator in the core Star Killer's base. Kylo Ren was breathing heavily as his father inched closer, begging him to come back with him, even though he had done so many terrible things since he left Luke's school. He wanted to take Han Solo's hand and run away from Snoke, but something dark called within him. His father could see the fight in his soul. Ben was aching for his father, wanting to be his son again and just go home. But as his father embraced him, he ignited the red sword through Han Solo's torso, ripping him apart. The shocked father grasped his wound as the sword retracted from his body. _Kylo Ren breaks the connection first. His breathing is fast and quick. His eyes fall back to his hands, seeing all the blood he shed on them. Embarrassment fills his chest as a sweat broke out on his forehead. How could he be so trusting of his enemy? A girl that has sworn to protect everything good. A warrior of the Light. Inner turmoil is all but unfamiliar to Kylo Ren. The battle of Dark versus Light raging deep down to his inner being, his soul. Her eyes, soft brown, tracing his face in silence, not knowing what to do or what to say to her.

"I am so-" Kylo Ren starts, never being able to say the words. Rey on edge of every word, waiting for him to begin to redeem himself, but he cannot. His face contorted into something twisted. Angry, his eyebrows furrowed, casting a dark shadow over his black eyes. Rey's breath hitches as, darkness, anger, and hate drift through the bond. Not from her, but Kylo Ren.

"Pathetic, a nobody, a stupid girl" he spits out at her. A pang that hits her deep in her chest. But she does not look away, determined as ever to be strong. Kylo Ren's jaw clenches as he stares down at this pathetic excuse of a Jedi. He hates her. Hates the way she drives doubt at his innermost personal beliefs. The familiar emotion of rage began to shower him as she stared at him unphased by him lashing out at her like a scared animal. He could not let her in, not ever. If he did, and she saw the true person he was, she would just betray him like everyone else he loved had. He could not let himself be drawn into her like that and give himself over to her, just to be hurt.

"I hate you. Don't you understand? You are just a naive child diseased by optimism and I hate you. Why are you even here? Why do you even care? Your parents did not even care about you. They sold you for drinking money. Threw you away like trash." Kylo Ren lashed out at Rey, unable to stop spiteful words escape his mouth, but he did not back down from them. He let his face reflect his words, his eyebrows pushed together creating the skin between them to bunch together and the corners of his lips tip downward. He was not truly angry at her, but at himself. He hurt himself with all the bloodshed and the patricide he committed. But Ben Solo was unable to carry all the weight of them on his shoulders, remembering each of their faces when his lightsaber bore into them. Kylo Ren, however, loved it, as each death of an innocent being fed his hunger for the Dark side. Using it as a drug.

"I don't believe you, Ben. I don't believe you hate me. I believe that you know that there is still Light in you. I see that fight between Dark versus Light. I know that even you, deserve help. You need someone to reach out and take your hand. You need help- I can help you. Just let me in, Ben. I want to help you." Her eyes latched on to his seemingly black ones. Her soft, unwavering gaze ringing true with genuine intentions. The Dark pulled his sight away from her, causing his rage to continue to flow steady, feeding Kylo Ren. He could not face her, this girl, any longer. How was it that she had such a pull on him, despite the bond that tied them together? He did not understand why it was her he had been tied to. He wanted someone to fight alongside with and rule the galaxy. But instead, he was faced with a young Jedi who stood for everything he was not and could not be. The vision of her ruling was fueled by the raw power within her. He sensed that she was strong with the force, maybe even more so than him. The Dark called to her, wanted her and he could feel that call within her. Every truly powerful Jedi in history was faced with a defining choice to either give in to its call or resist its temptation. Yet, Rey is strong-willed and cannot bear to let herself give in to it, even though it was still so easy to let that will fade around Kylo Ren.

"That is not my name, Rey. Don't call me by his name." Kylo expressed almost angrily. He was unable to face her any longer, knowing that if he stayed here then she would somehow use his weakness to draw in from his comfortable residence in the dark. Kylo Ren was scared at the thought, but Ben fought for the image of his return to the Light. Anger flared in his eyes as he snapped his glare back at her. Rey's legs were folded underneath her, her left arm supporting her weight on the ships cold floor. Her brown hair sat, framing her features while her eyes watched him. She was reaching out for him and he wanted to meet her halfway, but Kylo Ren slapped her hand away in a rage. Hurt, Rey drew her hand back in haste, feeling the sharp sting of his force. She almost cried out at the impact of his hand hitting her, but she ignored the urge. The echo of her pain rippled back through the bond, finding its way to his own hand. The bond's strong pull began to give, the image of Rey's hurt face began to fade before him.

Kylo Ren phased back into his bedchamber on the First Order command ship. Helpless and raging to his core. How could he let himself be so vulnerable to his enemy? How could he be so stupid to think that Rey would see him like that, see his innermost fragile thoughts and not think of him as a pathetic boy? A boy who uses his emotions to act on, letting himself give into every insidious intention. You pathetic, selfish, murderous man. No, you are not even a man. You are a scared little child in the shadow of Darth Vader and crushed under the boot of Snoke. You are no one and no one will remember your sad efforts to become someone, Kylo screams inside of his head.

_But not to me_, a soft voice sounded in his seething thoughts, it was her, Rey. The tug of the bond pulling tightly for only a second and broke. Kylo Ren threw up barriers around himself with the Force. Closing himself off from her. He will not succumb to the Light. He will not let her win him, his soul like that. It is she that needs to realize that she is the one who will turn. Never him. He reassures himself with the comforting suffocation from the Dark. Letting it feed off of his emotions. Letting it drag him, the boy from so long ago that screams out to be let brought out to the surface again, back into the clutches of the familiar darkness.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hello all and welcome! I just recently stared this story and I am absolutely inspired to share with everyone my vision of Rey and Kylo Ren and my version of their journey together. Strap in, because this is going to be a bumpy ride! I hope you guys have enjoyed the first chapter! If you haven't already, go ahead and give this story a follow and a quick review of what you thought, maybe even what you hope to see happen? Who knows, I might even use it in later chapters.

With love,

E


	2. Chapter 2: Reassess

Chapter 2: Reassess

Rey lifts herself off of her knees and stands in an empty room. Not knowing how to feel about what just transpired. Confused about how a man, like Kylo Ren, could ever come to his enemy in a time of raw, unfiltered emotion and show a side of vulnerability, _weakness. _This Force bond they share connects them. Ties their emotions and thoughts together. The images he shared with her replay over and over again as Rey tries to analyze them. Trying to figure out who Kylo Ren is. Who _Ben_ is. "_To see him as a boy, before he became this sick, contorted monster was so innocent and untouched by darkness is so- so strange. Seeing that shows a different side of the story of the Dark Knight. A sense of vulnerability and the need for love and attention. Nothing more. Just for someone to look at him and see him. Really see him. Like me. Sure I am surrounded by friends like Finn, Chewie, and Poe, but it feels as if they look only surface level, Rey. Not at what is inside begging to be brought to the surface." _Rey catches her thoughts turning sour and she relaxes her contorted face. She takes a deep breath as sets her staff up against the wall next to her bunk. She turns to the dresser to her side and pulls open the top drawer. The broken lightsaber rolls to the front of the drawer. She looks past it to the clothes folded neatly in the left corner. Pulling out a basic tunic and linen pants, then shut the drawer.

After she got dressed she slipped her only pair of boots on and laced them up. The door opens with a hiss as she walks up to the chamber exit. She steps out into the corridor of the Millennium Falcon. Rey walks the main corridor, heading to the center of the old freighter. The small lounge room doubled as a kitchen and sitting area. Rey opened the cooler to find leftover rations and pulled it out, unexcited to eat it. BB-8 rolls into the room and beeps a greeting to her.

"Good morning, Rey!" Rey smiles at the robot. Happy to have some company after her interaction with Kylo Ren. It was still weighing heavy on Rey's chest, unable to share with anyone, in fear of how it would look if they knew that she and Kylo Ren had a Force bond. She sighs internally as she scooped a spoonful of tasteless substance into her mouth, cringing.

"Rey," BB-8 bleeps "We are about to arrive at the Resistance base on Ahch-To." Rey nods at BB-8 as she replies with, " Thank you, BB-8". She pats the little robots head and continues to the cockpit. Out the window Rey watches the stars whiz by as they travel through hyperspace. Rey is anxious to return to the planet. To return to her friends, Finn, Poe, and her mentor General Organa. Rey loves the fact that this woman is fearless, strong, and yet elegant and graceful. All of these qualities make up, Leia, a seasoned General that leads the Resistance to combat the First Order. After Snoke's death, the First Order has been in disarray. This is in part why Rey must return to Ahch-To. Their limited numbers after General Hux's attack has left them in hiding. General and Rey knew that they need to stay out of sight.

A notification alert bleeps through the communication system.

"This is base one to YT-1300, state your business. Over." a masculine voice bleeds through the intercom. Rey pressed the button attached to a microphone "This is YT-1300 to base one, this is Falcon. Requesting permission to land. Over." Rey lets off the button to hear static, waiting for a response. "This is base one. Permission granted. Over and out." the voice ends the link with her ship. Rey Sets herself down into the pilot's chair and stears the old freighter towards the oceanic planet.

* * *

Rey gently eases the old freighter to the ground of the main island. She lets down the landing gear as the ship settles to the islands grass covered rocky surface. Rey shuts off the engines and heads to her bedchambers. The corridor leading to her chamber was cold from prolonged space travel and that damned heater that seems to not ever work properly. Her hands instinctively wrapped around her arms, rubbing them for warmth as she approached the door. The door hisses open. Rey gathers her wooden staff and her canvas knapsack. She looks around the room, to where Kylo Ren had sat only hours ago. The memory causes a strange whirl of emotions to come flooding back to her as a shiver ran down her spine. She forces herself out of the room, wanting to push that moment away from her mind. The door hissed open as she stepped back into the corridor. Rey began to walk to the ramp when she called out for BB-8. BB-8 came zooming from around the corner to Rey's feet, bleeping happily. The sun of Ahch-To was warm as it caressed her skin for the first time in what seemed to be a lifetime ago. The ship's ramp closed slowly, the hydraulics whining in the process. "_Damn ship. This thing is older than me."_

Rey was met by Finn and Rose, anxiously awaited by Finn for her return since the First Order hunted down the last bit of the Resistance. "REY!" Finn yelled in excitement as he ran to her giving her a friendly hug. "Man, I have been worried about you. Where have you been? We were all supposed to meet back here to regroup." Rey pulls away from her friend as Rose comes up.

"Rey, I am so happy you are alive. We missed you." Rose goes in for a small hug and Rey takes it, happy for human connection. "I have missed you too. I am sorry I did not let anyone know where I went after that day I-" she fumbles with her words, reliving the terror of the throne with Snoke and watching General Hux destroy the last bits of the Resistance. "I needed some time to reassess everything. Meditate." she lets out, not making eye contact with them. Rey takes a deep breath in, feeling the force flow through her and exhales the remnants of the memory. Her eyes lift up to her friends, Finn wears a worried face, but he knows not to push it.

"Come on, we will show you to your chambers so you can get settled before the meeting." Finn puts a hand around Rey's shoulder as they begin to walk into the ancient Jedi temple. She lets the Force balance her as she walks in, letting everything go.

* * *

Kylo wakes in his bedchambers alone with a great sense of embarrassment that looms over him like dead weight. He is beside himself. If Snoke were still alive and had seen what he had let himself succumb to then Kylo could expect a thrashing. Not in the physical sense, but psychological. Snoke would torture Kylo with dreams of sick, twisted natures. Showing him his worst fears and contorting them to play over and over again each night he tried to sleep. When Snoke had done this in the past, Kylo would not let himself sleep. The sleepless nights led to hours of thinking. He would sink deeper into his anger and hatred. Allowing the warm, easy grip of the Dark to grab hold of Kylo's soul. It's grip snuffing out anything left of Ben Solo.

Kylo ached as he swung his long legs over his bed. His feet hit the cold metal floors of the ship. Thoughts of _her _drift into his head. The way she was curled up on her bunk and her hair, loose, draped across her tanned, youthful face. Her lips where perfectly parted, letting out soft sighs as she slept. She seemed so peaceful. So pure, basking in the power of the Light. Kylo was so envious how effortless it was for Rey to be at one with herself. How she seemed to perfectly balance the Light and Dark that dwells within herself. So-, no he won't let himself even think it.

Kylo pushes off his bed and peers out the window into the expansive universe outside. The command ship is slowly drifting in the Inner Rim. Kylo preemptively turns his as the tight pull of the Force bond tugs at him. Rey. She seems to be sitting, cleaning something in her hand. Pieces of loose hair fall over her face as she focused on the task at hand. Her eyebrows pushed together working the details of the object. Her head snaps up so suddenly it startled him from his observant state. He straightens his posture, placing his hands behind his back. Rey looks him over. It has been weeks since they last bridged. He does not take his eyes off her. Rey clears her throat, placing the object down behind her.

Neither of them breaks the silence. The still air between them reaks their last encounter. Kylo can feel her heart beating hard through the bond like an echo. "Ben-" she says softly that Kylo almost did not hear her. Rey looking into his almost black eyes, catching the slightest glimpse of the Light fighting, trying to claw its way out. But in an instance, it is gone. Fear and hatred burn bright. Rey bites her lip, fearing what comes next.

"That is not my name, Rey." Kylo says so calmly that it makes Rey shiver with fear. Collecting herself, she stands up straightening her clothes. Kylo watches her every movement, every microexpression. Trying to put the pieces together. He cannot help but be intrigued by this _nobody_ from Jakku. This young woman that is so naive and yet wise. Rey closes the gap between her and Kylo. His breath hitches with the proximity, but he does not dare to let the anticipation rebound through the bond. She is so close that if he took a deep breath, his chest would brush up against her.

"Ben, I can feel the fight inside. I can feel it tearing into your soul. Let me help. Come with me. I can help yo balance the fight inside." Rey speaks soft and he can sense that she is speaking with sincerity. Kylo looks down at Rey's eyes. She was staring up waiting for his response. Her offer is so tempting. Ben is reaching out to Rey from the depths that Kylo has tried so hard to push down for fifteen years. He closes his eyes, exhaling a long sigh.

Rey can feel him wanting to take that step towards the Light. She can feel his want for redemption. To wash his hands of Snoke, the blood, the fear, the hate, his _father_. "Ben, you have to take the first step. I cannot do it for you. It has to be you. I can only be there with you along the path." her words pull at the inner want to break free from the darkness. Her hand trails up to his arm. Her fingertips hover close to his bare forearm. The heat seeping over his skin makes him close his eyes, not knowing when the last time someone touched him. He retracts his arm, almost jerking back from her. Rey takes a step back. Her eyes are pleading with him, begging him. Kylo can feel her emotions welling up in her chest, feeling the echo through the bond. He balls his hands into fists, digging his nails into the skin of his palms. The sharp, dull pain snaps him out of Rey's tempting offer.

"No." Kylo Ren snaps back into control. Anger swelling up from the Dark. He turns to the wall and punches it. Causing the solid rock to crumble and create a crack in the solid block. The skin of his knuckles splits as blood pools from the seems. Rey falls to the ground gasping, feeling the pain echo back through the bond. Grabbing her hand gently as the pain throbs. Rey, stands unwavering, pushing the pain of her hand aside. She watches Ben unravel back into Kylo Ren as blood drips down his hand onto the floor of her bedchamber.

Anger rises in her chest, "Why even save me from Snoke! You could have let me die, but you didn't. You saved my life. For what? So you can toy with me, make me turn into you!?" Rey was furious. He could feel the heat through the bond as he clenched his fist tighter, relishing in the pain. Rey stood before him, her chest rising and falling with quick heavy breaths.

"Rey, I have seen you, seen you come with me. We ruled the galaxy together. You turned for me." Kylo relives the vision in his head. She looked so poised and elegant in a long flowing black dress, hugging her waist and expanding outward. He could almost taste it. Wanted it so badly. He let himself relax as took a small step towards her, the uninjured hand outstretched to her.

"No, I will not turn to the Dark side for you, Kylo Ren." the words were like a slap across his face. _Rejection. _Kylo's face twisted. His eyebrows furrowed again casting a shadow over his black eyes. His chest tightened. Anger burning his ears, turning them bright red beneath is black locks.

"And I will not turn for you." Kylo spits out coldly. He turned away from Rey as he cut the connection. The warm tug of the Force bond now gone. His chambers seem so cold and barren. He is alone. _Again. _

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Wow! that sure was a long one. I hope that I am portraying their love/hate relationship well. I am so nervous putting this out there for everyone to read. This story just hit me out of nowhere, I was so inspired that I had to write! I hope you guys are enjoying the journey so far. My hopes for this are to portray a raw, emotional bond between them. It is gonna be hard and painful to watch Rey and Ben go through the trials ahead of them, but they will both be happier for it. Thank you for reading this far! **

**Don't forget to comment your thoughts!**

**Love, **

**E**


	3. Chapter 3: Aftermath

Chapter 3: Aftermath

Rey wakes up to the first sun of Ahch-To rising, the rays penetrating through the carved out window. The morning light hitting her closed eyelids she rolls over to her side. Rey, feeling hollowed out from last night's conversation with Kylo Ren. Her chest feels heavy with how much sadness and pain that dwells inside of him. Rey tries to push it aside as she gets out of her modest bed. Suitable for a Jedi's humble living. She walks over to her knapsack sitting on a small table at the entryway of the room. Lifting the clasp Rey rummages for some fresh clothes. Finding a grey linen tunic, a lightweight long sleeve shirt, and a pair of tight pants that are made out of a flexible material.

She walks over to the small private bathroom attached to the room. The stone floors are cold against her feet. Setting down the fresh clothing on a small counter as she walks to the bathtub. There is already fresh, hot water waiting for her. The caretakers of this land must have done this for her, the Lanai, small creatures in stature with grey skin, bearing resemblance to avian-like beings but have hands and bird-like feet. Rey strips herself of her nightclothes and undergarments and lowers a hand into the bathwater. The warm liquid envelops her badly bruised hand and it seems to soothe that ache.

Deciding that the water was suitable, she steps over the small wall of the dark stone tub. Slowing sinking into the water, Rey's body starts to relax as the water soaks her aching muscles. The water brings Rey into a meditative state and lets go of her mental barriers Letting herself feel the Force of everything on the island. She can feel life, death, creation, destruction, violence, equilibrium, light, dark, waves crashing, warmth, cold, _balance_. Rey takes a deep breath of steamy air as she lets the Force flow through her as she settles into the warm water. Rey can feel the familiar tug of the Force bond, she turns her head, but _he_ is not here. She brushes it off as closes her eyes.

"_Rey... where are you?" _Kylo's voice enters her mind. Kylo sits in his office, sweating through the layers of black robes. The curiosity in him begins to rise. Feeling relaxation drift over him and a warm substance all over his body through the bond. Images of balance flash before him and he is taken aback by the serene beauty of it. Moments go by as the silence fills the bond.

"_Rey…" _his voice was soft and enticing. Rey restrains to answer his call, unable to speak in the intimate moment.

"_Nowhere." _She replies coolly. Not wanting to reveal the true nature of where she is. Embarrassed at the thought of _Kylo Ren_ catching her.

"_You are not telling the truth, Rey" _Kylo can feel the hesitation in her response to him. Knowing that Rey must be hiding something from him. The feeling of the warm substance on his skin begins to swish around as Rey moves, causing it to echo through their bond.

"_It is none of your concern where I am. It is private."_ Rey feels a slight smile touched the corner of her mouth. Realizing who she is speaking with, Rey's smile quickly dissipates. But Kylo can still feel it.

"_It is when you bridged us together, Rey. I am feeling what you are. It is very distracting. I am trying to focus."_ He counters her. A smile threatened his lips but held a cool demeanor so that it could not ripple back to her.

"_I am in the bath if you must know." _she retorts back at him with a touch of annoyance. She begins to take the rationed out hair product and lather in her long, wet brown hair. Letting her thoughts of Kylo escape her as she massaged her scalp. Pleasure, like from massaging a sore muscle runs through her body.

"_Rey, stop." _Kylo could feel every sensation, every movement coursing through him. She stops, causing him to sigh in relief.

"_Ben?"_

Kylo chokes at the name but does not correct her. Her voice was steady and calm as she said _that_ name.

"_Duck." _

* * *

Confused, Kylo Ren looks up at his office only a fraction of a second before the door is kicked open. Kylo Ren summons his red lightsaber to his hand. It comes with a cold smack into his palm, igniting it in the same motion, as he sidesteps a blaster shot. It is General Hux and platoon of Stormtroopers rush into the room.

"By order of decree E4-1, I, General Hux find First of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren, unfit as Supreme Leader and hereby relieve you of your position." Hux's smug smile takes up his face as he waves the platoon further is, blasters ready. The Stormtroopers fire off rounds from their E-11 blaster rifles. Kylo Ren, adrenaline coursing hard through his veins, jumps to his desk before him, using it to launch off into the air. As Kylo is mid-air blaster rounds follow him, using the Force to guide his movements, he uses his lightsaber to deflect the shots back where they came from. The blaster rounds from the E-11's were heading in all directions, barely missing General Hux, but knocking a small handful of Stormtroopers, penetrating their breastplates. Kylo instinctively tucks his body, approaching the platoon, and begins to flip over them. He turns off the red lightsaber as he lands just behind the platoon's rearer and runs.

Kylo is running for his life on the command ship and there was nothing she could do but watch as he attacked defensively. The First Order wanted him dead, more like General Hux's greed for control, wanted him dead. Rey reached out through the bond to Kylo Ren, letting her calm state wash over him. He took a deep breath as he ran through the corridors towards the flight deck. He has to escape from the First Order. Rey watched through his eyes, trying to stay calm as he ran for his life.

Kylo Ducked into an abandoned storage closet, sensing a routine patrol of Stormtroopers were about to turn down the hall. He shuts himself in. Through the small slits of the door, Kylo watches tentatively, waiting for the patrol to pass. Rey is so scared as she watches through his eyes, curling into herself as she lays on her bed. Her heart is pounding in her ears as she watches the patrol pass the closet with not even a glance in their direction.

When the patrol is safely out of earshot of Kylo, he bolts out of the closet. Making a b-line to the flight deck. As he is approaching the hangar door but the Hux and the remaining patrol are running towards him. He quickly wills the sizable hangar door open with a swift swipe of his hand. As the door opens just enough, Kylo slips through, driving for immediate cover, igniting the infamous red sword. A Stormtrooper comes around the corner he waits behind and slashes at the soldier's blaster hand. The Stormtrooper falls to the ground clutching the exposed, cauterized tissue. Kylo runs, darts to a random transport freighter that sits docked ahead. As he ducks in, he hides by Force jumping to the ceiling. Concealing himself by spreading out his limbs to hold the position. Two Stormtroopers file in on the ramp, going opposite ways to cover the ship. His adrenaline pumping, echoing through the bond to Rey that is rebounded straight back to him, making his ability to hold his position harder as his palms sweat. Rey takes deep breaths as she watches him struggle.

"_Breath, Ben. You have to stay calm and collected. You will make it." _Rey reassures his success as he begins to breathe slowly. The Stormtroopers come back around, they both hold their breath, not moving a muscle. The soldiers report through their commlinks that they cannot find Kylo here. As the Stormtroopers leave they close the ramp to the ship. Kylo jumps down and lands heavily on the grated floor. But there is no time to spare. Kylo makes his way to the cockpit. Turning on the backup power to see what he is looking at. If he does not execute this right, the ship will be too damaged to fly before he gets it out of the bay door. Taking a deep breath, Kylo reaches out with the force to sense the movement around him. While no one near is Force-sensitive, every living creature gives off a signature that he can read. He can see forty pilots, Hux, and three platoons of Stormtroopers.

"_You have to start the engines now, Ben, They are all distracted and moving out of flight deck." _Kylo hesitates for a moment. "_NOW!" _she shouts. Kylo flips on the ignition and the engines roar to life. Quickly Kylo grabs the controls and lifts the small freighter off the deck, The landing gear is still tucking back into the ship as he steers the ship out the external hanger door. Everyone hollers as the see the ship blasting out into space. It is too late, Kylo Ren has escaped the clutches of the First Order.

* * *

Rey falls back onto her bed as their connection breaks. There is sweat beading on her forehead. She swipes at her forehead with her sleeve. Breathless, she closes her eyes and tries to swallow to help drive away from the dryness in her throat. Moments go by before her breath comes back to her. She sits up abruptly, realizing that she must get to Leia. Rey has to tell her that Kylo Ren, _the Kylo Ren _has had an assassination attempt on his life and that Hux was behind it. Rey runs fast to Leia's chambers. Not caring how late she has to wake the General. Rey slides to a halt as she finds Leia's door, knocking loudly. Moments later, Leia answers the door. Leia wore an expression that tells Rey she better have woken her up in the middle of the night for a good reason. But in an instant, Leia sensed that there was trouble, a disturbance in the Force.

"Rey, what is it?" her voice riddled with concern and anxiety. Rey, stood there for a moment, breathless, panting the General searched her eyes, trying to find out what was wrong.

"It's Ben. He is in trouble.." Rey let out as quick as she could, trying to catch her breath.

* * *

St anding still for a moment, taken aback by the name that came from Rey. Leia had not heard that name spoken since He had become Kylo Ren, a Sith Lord. "Come in." she steps aside to let the young woman in. Rey walked in slowly, finding an armchair tucked in the corner of a small sitting area. Watching Rey as a million possible scenarios raced through her mind. What more trouble could he get into? Leia took the chair adjacent to Rey, she noticed that her left hand was bruised badly. Knowing somehow it had to do with Kylo Ren. "Breath, child. Tell me what happened." Leia lets out calm and collected.

Rey's eyes are filled with fear and tears that threatened to escape from them. Leia's cool demeanor threatens to falter as the silence is prolonged. Where was Rey even to begin? How had their situation came to be is so intricate and convoluted? Unsure, Rey starts at the beginning, of how they are connected with a Force bond, that to their knowledge cannot be broken. She tells Leia of how _Ben_, not Kylo, killed Snoke to save her from his evil clutches. Rey is so scared, she shakes as she continues their story. Leia, listening to every word and taking it in.

"And now General Hux mutinied and is taking over the First Order, but not before he tried to kill Ben. I was so scared. I was looking through his eyes the whole time as he ran and fought for his life, Leia." At this point, Rey is choking on her tears as she tries to finish her story.

"Did he escape?" Leia waits anxiously as Rey tries in earnest to control her sobs. Sniffling, Rey nods her head at Leia. Relief washed over her like a crashing wave. Rey is staring at Leia with remnants of tears in her eyes and a red nose.

"Does this mean you want me to leave the Resistance? For consorting with the enemy?" the thought of being discharged from the Resistance makes the tears in her eyes swell as the fall silently down her rosy cheeks. She sniffles looking for an answer to a hard question.

"Did you give up any sensitive information that directly affects the Resistance?" Rey shakes her head no. Leia had no doubts in her mind that Rey would ever give up her family to the First Order, but hearing her say that she had affirmed her faith in the young Padawan.

"Do you know where Ben may have flown to hide from the First Order?" Leia looks at Rey in hopes that she can bring her son home once and for all. But at last, Rey shakes her head again, wishing she had the answer for his mother. Leia sighs, dreaming of how things could have been if she had been a better mother to her fragile boy Ben.

"Get some rest, Rey. It is late. You will need your strength." Leia puts a tender hand on Rey's shoulder. She goes stiff and relaxes. As if she had never been touched by motherly compassion. Rey nods her head silently as she gets up, turning abruptly to give Leia a tight hug before walking out of the room.

* * *

**Au thors Note:** **Whew! That certain took a turn. Not even I knew where this chapter was gonna lead! If you have made it this far, thank you for reading! Don't forget to give this story a fav and a follow!** **Best Regards, E** **P.S- Do not forget to comment! I really love hearing your thoughts**


	4. Chapter 4: Breaking Point

*Warning ** THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND TORTURE. SKIP TO AUTHORS NOTES FOR A BRIEF OVERVIEW IF YOU ARE FAINTHEARTED

Chapter 4: Breaking Point

A month has gone by since Rey and Kylo Ren had any communication. Kylo sits in the grass, head turned up to the suns that lit the planet in a purple hue, casting an evening glow. He is meditating. Kylo focuses on his breathing as a dark, twisted image pops into his mind and lingers. He is back at uncle Luke's temple, asleep. _A shift in the Force wakes him suddenly. It's Luke, standing over him in the dark. His green lightsaber casting shadows in the deep grooves of his uncle's face. Ben, at the time, before Kylo Ren, felt his uncle's dark intentions cast through the Force. He turned his head and summoned is lightsaber into his hand._

"No please stop. I do not want to see this." a warm, enticing, voice called back to him _"But you must, Kylo Ren."_ _The lightsaber crashes into Ben's hand to defend himself. The green and blue lightsabers crash into one another with fury. Luke stopped as if realizing that in a moment of weakness, the dark had moved in. Ben ran away, like a child, slashing everything in his path with deadly rage. He went to the ancient temple, destroying all the sacred text, statues and cutting through ancient tapestries. Blinded by rage._

_Ben set the temple on fire. He let the flames feed off his hate, his fear. The image is gone and young Ben is standing in front of the sleeping quarters. One by one, he enters and slashes young Padawans. Their screams silenced by the blade's fury. Feeding the Dark powerful souls. A high rushed through Ben as he wanted more, more, more. He set the buildings on fire as he left, watching them burn, he laughed. The sight fueled the birth of Kylo Ren. Poor Ben was being snuffed out by the darkness that was swallowing his soul. This was the birth night of Kylo Ren. Snoke had been lingering, coaxing Kylo out for years, but is uncle stood in the way. Teaching him to let go of the Dark, to not give in to their temptations. But that night, Snoke played a part in Luke's vision of a shift in the Force. It is true, there was to be a shift, but Snoke had twisted the vision that fateful night. Snoke's version of the vision showed that the scales had been tipped by his nephew. Master Skywalker, once the protector of the galaxy, could not let the horror he saw come to pass. Yes, the hero Master Jedi Skywalker created Kylo Ren._

Ben screamed from the depth of Kylo Ren in torment from the past. Torn at the actions that were carried out by his hands. Kylo Ren's eyes opened. Anger swelling the fact that from beyond the grave, Snoke still had a hold on his mind. _Nothing ever dies in the Force _uncle Luke told Kylo in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Kylo stood on the uninhabited planet in the very cusp of the Outer Rim as he wished that these memories from Ben's past would be burned out of his mind. Anger and loneliness boiled from within, heating his core. In a blind rage, the tree had been meditating under was now splintered. The top half of the tree that had light pink and rich purple foliage, is now on the ground. It is just as broken and splintered as the trunk.

Kylo looks down at his knuckles, bruised and bleeding profusely. He did not feel the pain. It was numb. He did not feel much of anything anymore. Joy and love were alien emotions from long ago when his absent father and busy mother shipped him off to Luke. All that resided in Kylo Ren was hate and anguish. Kylo, for the better part of fifteen years, has never been loved, wanted, hugged, or even thought of anything less than a treacherous snake. Even Snoke had thought him useless. Repeatedly reminding him that he would never be as great as Darth Vader and that he would forever be in his shadow, forgotten with time. Rage. Rage is all he ever knew to be comfortable. The inner turmoil, forgotten. Rage created a sense of calm within him.

_Snoke had found the newborn Kylo Ren in front of the burning temple. "Come to me, Kylo Ren." Never been called that in his life. It was always Ben. He was still Ben, wasn't he? "No, child, tonight you are reborn in the ashes of Ben Solo as Kylo Ren. Come to me, Kylo." Kylo Ren followed Snoke to a small transport ship. Once inside he felt like he was home. Snoke had taken him out of Ben Solo and placed Kylo Ren in his place. He was only fifteen. Kylo sat still peering out the window, watching the ancient Jedi village being engulfed in red flames. _

_They had arrived at Snoke's ship, Kylo was carted off to an empty room that was painted, red, blood red. There was a throne carved out of the blackest stone that was smooth. Fit for a Sith Lord. Snoke Force pushed Kylo Ren to his knees, reaching out into is mind. Carving out Ben Solo. The pain ripped through Kylo like his soul was being torn from him. Every remnant of Ben was stripped away from Kylo Ren. The torture driving Kylo breathless and to the floor. "You weak, pathetic child" Snoke called out to him as he dug deeper into Kylo. He did not want to fight Snoke. He wanted to forget the sadness, his loveless childhood, the misunderstanding from his peers, the loneliness, the betrayal. The probe into his mind began to numb as Snoke dug deeper and deeper into his psyche. Snoke was ripping out the part that made him feel, the parts that defined him as a human. Snoke's villainous laugh rug in his mind, like an echo. _

"Ben…" A familiar voice called out to him. Bringing his mind back from the darkness. It was Rey. She was standing there in front of him. Her eyes wore a concerned look as she studied him. Her loose hair from her three knots was blowing in the slight breeze. She could not be real. His mind was playing tricks on him. He could not trust himself.

"You aren't real. You are not here." He almost whispers at the brink of madness.

"Ben, I-" She is cut short

"GO AWAY! YOU ARE NOT HERE! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! FUCK!" Rage infused madness spews out of his mouth as he dropped to his knees. Sobbing and so confused. His hands are grasping his long black locks as he rocks back and forth. His sobs escape him like he is gasping for air.

"Ben, let me help. I want to help you." Her words are soft and true. Trying in earnest to grasp the situation.

_She's lying. Treacherous whore. _A voice speaks from the depths of the darkness.

"She's not real. She's not real. She's not real." Kylo Ren continues to rock, talking to himself. His grasp on reality is slipping away from him. His hands pull harder at his hair, ripping pieces out. Rey's heart began to ache as Kylo Ren began to unravel before her. She drops to her knee as tears swell up in her eyes. She cannot cry, she must be the strong one. She must be strong for Ben. She reaches a hand out over his back, but stops, frightened of what he might do. His face turns suddenly. Her eyes meet his, but there is no one there anymore. Madness wrapped his features, turning to a wild creature. He is looking at her, motionless. His breaths are heavy.

"I- I don't know what to do." Her eyes fall to her folded knees.

_She is not real, Kylo. She is not here. Kill her. Feel her as her life force escape from her body. Relish in it. _The dark voice calls again. It sounds so familiar, but he could not tell who it is. He crept towards her slowly as her eyes are glued to the ground. She is unmoving, vulnerable. _Yes, _the voice calls. _Closer now. _His hands slowly rise, level at her delicate neck. She swallows. It is calling him further into madness. Before Rey could react, the wild creatures' large hands clasp her neck in a tight, unchanging grip. She gasped, her eyes are wide. The creature's eyes met hers. There is nothing there but primal rage. Scared, Rey's hand flew up to his grip. Her touch only makes his grip tighten. Panic sets into Rey and begins to thrash in his strong hands. Yet somehow, he begins to choke too. He closes around her neck tighter. His throat begins to tighten.

"Ben, please!" Her voice gurgles against his hands. She touches him in desperation, hoping to show him she is there and not a torturous facade. She let the Force flow between their minds. Showing the creature the first time they touched on Ahch-To. Showing him the vision of them in the future. Happy. The creature let's go of her neck, enveloped in the vision. His arms fell to his side as he began to sob. _How could I have sunk this low? Forget who I was? _Kylo thinks to himself. Harsh sobs break him out of his thoughts. It's Rey, she is laying on the ground twisted with her hands grabbing the earth as she sobbed. What had he done? There were soft bruises around her neck. From _his_ hands. Kylo looked down in terror at his hands as if he could see that they were drenched in blood.

"Rey… I- I am so sorry. I am so lost right now." The words escape his lips before he could hesitate. He is so angry with himself that tears began to swell up in his eyes. They fell silent as he watched Rey cry in front of him. He felt his hand reach out to her, placing a soft hand at her shoulder. She jumped in terror. She moved away from his touch as her sobs grew harsher. Her eye never looking up to his. Kylo Ren could feel her anguish rippling through their bond. Her fear from the look in his wild eyes as he choked her came crashing over him.

"Ben… I want Ben. Not Kylo Ren." Rey choked out between sobs. Somehow this made Kylo soften. He wanted to comfort her. Tell her how wrong he was and that he never, ever wanted to hurt her. But he couldn't face her sad, scared eyes. He collapsed to the ground beside her and let the tears wash over him, letting them fall. Kylo was so confused about where he stood. Who was he? Was Kylo Ren beginning to unravel as Ben Solo? Rey turned her head to see _Ben. _Kylo Ren was not there next to her. It was him, softly crying. Rey watched the tears trace his features as they fell from his eyes. Rey was still grasping to understand that Ben had been fighting to come out and causing Kylo Ren's understanding of his reality to begin to crumble before him. She knew that this path was not going to be an easy one, but she felt he needed someone, _her_, to be there with him.

"I forgive you, Ben, do you hear me? I _forgive_ you." Rey's voice was sincere as she spoke. Ben's tears only fell harder. No one had ever said those words to him. The words sunk deep within him. Rey watched him, unmoving as he cried. Her hand began to lift to his body. She placed a hand on his chest. He looked at her, still fresh tears in their eyes, and gave a nod of recognition. He was beside himself. He did not know what to do at this point. Her hand was warm on his chest, sinking into his skin.

"Rey," He let out slowly "I am so confused right now". Flashes of torment, anguish, fear, betrayal, and a fight within his soul flowed into Rey. Her hand now lay more heavy, more endearing on his chest.

"It's okay, Ben." She shushed him. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion. Her hand began to brush the wet hair from his face. Raking her fingers through his soft curly hair. He let her, it felt calming and he knew that she was there. Real and trying to help him. He pulled himself into her knees that are folded under her. She stayed unmoving, still running her fingers through his hair. Ben began to give in to the exhaustion as he began to fade to sleep. Rey watched for a moment as his breaths became slow and rhythmic. She could feel the bond begin to close. Rey was back in her room, her hand still in motion to make another sweep through his hair. She let the hand fall. All of her emotions came out. She let the sadness, the disappointment of his actions drain as she lay down in her bed. Then, suddenly there was a knock at the door.

* * *

**Authors Note: **

**That was... rough to say the least. The pure madness that broke out over Kylo Ren even made me scared. Haha! But really, what a tough chapter to write. These characters are being put through the wringer. **

**I hope you all are still enjoying the story thus far! Don't forget to share your thoughts! Give the story a fav and follow as I continue this agonizing slow burn. **

**With Love, **

**E**

* * *

**Overview:**

So basically it has been a whole month since Kylo has escaped from the First Order and is hiding out on an uninhabited planet in the Outer Rim. He discovers briefly that Snoke can never truly die and begins to torment him. Making him relive the night he became Kylo Ren. Brought to the brink of madness, Rey appears through their bond, but when she sees him, she realizes that a wild creature inhabited the body of Kylo Ren. He believed her to be some sick trick of his mind. A voice, Snoke's, call to him to kill her as she sits vulnerable in front of him. HE CHOKES HER! With his own hands! Rey panicked and showed him through the Force that night they first touched on Ahch-To and her vision she had of him. It was her last resort. He let go of Rey and broke down at the thought of what he just did and how he let reality slip away from him so easily. She forgives him though, even though she is scared, she knows deep down that _Ben _would have never done that.

That is pretty much it! See you next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5: Recoil

Chapter 5: Recoil

She shot up, sniffling, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Yes, who is it?" She asked the visitor, drying off her face with the back of her hand. She could not let anyone see her crying. She did not want anyone to see such a fragile moment. She has never cried from such heartfelt pain. This was raw and new to her. She had no idea what to do with herself with the recoil of their connection. All Rey knew is that she must be strong. Not let this affect her. Not letting the dark drag her into a downward spiral as Kylo Ren had only moments ago. Rey was distraught.

"Rey? It's Leia. May I come in?" Rey shot from her bed and raced to the door. She opened the heavy wooden door to Leia, she looked disturbed and highly concerned. Leia had sensed something terrible through the Force. She could feel the violence thrashing through the Force, knowing it was her son and Rey who was involved. She just felt it deep in her bones that she had to find Rey and get some answers from her. Rey moved aside, gesturing for Leia to come in. She saw Rey's raw, red nose and that her eyes were swollen from crying. Leia's heart dropped at the sight, a dire need to know what had happened. Rey shut the door softly to her bedchambers as Leia gracefully strode into the room. Rey, embarrassed at her disheveled appearance tried to straighten her clothes and smooth back the flyaway pieces of hair. Her hands lightly drifted over her sore neck. The soft bruises were burning into her. Could Leia see them? Would she even ask Rey to explain the true nature of the markings?

"Rey, are you all right? I sensed trouble and came running. I did not know what had happened to you, only the sensed the violence." Leia asked concerned about Rey's fragile state. Rey cleared her throat and straightened her shirt as if to gain some false sense of composure. Leia waited patiently as Rey tried to come up with a way to explain such a terrifying moment. "Ben is fighting within Kylo Ren, there is still Light in him, General. I can sense it every time I see him. But today, I sensed that he was slipping into a dark spiral. I reached out through our bond to find him bloodied and in a state of rage. I could sense through our bond that Snoke can still reach out from beyond the dead and torture his mind, to fracture him further. Ben is strong, Leia, but the rage and pain within Kylo Ren is stronger" Rey reported to General Organa that Ben was still fighting. It gave her hope that her son could return home to her soon. When Leia did not reply to Rey, she kept going.

"He believed that when I appeared to him, that I was some type of evil trick of his mind. He was driven to his breaking point by whatever Snoke had shown him. He attacked me," Rey gestured to her throat, pointing out the soft bruises that lay there. "But I showed him who he could be, in the future and he just fell to the ground, crying." Leia's mouth dropped open at the information that Rey had laid out to her. Her heart panged with hurt. Unable to speak, she closed her eyes to imagine a happy little boy. _Her _boy. Leia's hand rested on her chest as a pang shot out again. What was she to do? She could not bring him here. Could She? It felt too risky for her son to come to Ahch-To, but maybe if he does then Rey and Leia could keep a watchful eye on Ben and Kylo Ren's inner fight.

"Leia, what do I do? I know that I cannot turn away from him because I know he needs someone more than anything right now. It was the look in his eyes as his hands clutched my throat that terrified me, making me doubt his ability to come back from the Dark. I was so scared. I felt my lungs gasping for air. Leia, I need your help. I cannot go to anyone else with this. I am alone." Rey's voice was shaking as she relived the experience, looking at Leia for guidance. Leia stood there looking at the child, her eyes saddened and scared as they stare at Leia's concerned face. Her lips pressed into a tight line. Rey was waiting in earnest for Leia's response, so scared and confused. Rey could feel tears swelling back in her eyes as her chest tightens.

"Rey, we both know that Kylo Ren is troubled by his past. Unable to let go of his pain and suffering. We must bring him to balance, somewhere in between, _grey_. I don't know if Ben could ever truly come out of Kylo Ren, but we can try to show him where he can coexist in the middle. I do not know if he could fully return to the Light, but I know he is able to balance his call of the Dark. I urge you, Rey, to be patient and let the Force guide you. It is as the Force wills. It will always seek balance. I believe this is why you two, forged at opposite ends of the spectrum, have been bonded together. It comes down to you and the Ben inside Kylo Ren to restore the balance of the galaxy,"

"When Anakin Skywalker, my father, killed the last of the Jedi Masters and the Padawans, the scales tipped. When my brother and I were born, again the Force sought to restore balance. But when Ben turned into Kylo Ren, Luke felt the era of the Jedi needed to come to an end. Luke shut himself off to the Force, causing the power of Kylo Ren to be unleashed on the galaxy unchecked. That is where you come in, Rey. You were born when Kylo Ren began to slip further into the grasp of the Dark side. Rey, he needs you. The galaxy _needs_ you. The will of the Force wills you to answer its call to rise to the challenge." Leia just laid out the ultimate words of wisdom, as if the Force just spoke through her. Leia brought her delicate hands around Rey's calloused ones, bringing her eyes to Rey's face whose sight was cast downward to the dark stone floor. The pause in Leia's word forced her to look at Leia's eyes that searched Rey's face.

Rey felt reassured by the General and felt a wave of newfound confidence wash over her, but still questioning what steps she needed to take to achieve the reality that Leia spoke of. She clasped Leia's hands tighter as the question rose out of her. "But Leia, how can I get him to a place of balance? I struggle too with its call." Rey asked as her shoulders slumped over slightly. Leia did not know what else to say to Rey, knowing her eyes are searching her eyes for answers. "We must think about this. We will have a private meeting in my chambers later," Leia gave a little squeeze to Rey's hands lightly as she lets them go. "Now, go, get some food, I am sure Finn would love to see you." Rey nodded as the General turned towards the door, walking out.

* * *

Rey walked into the attached bathroom, leaning herself against the grey stone vanity as she stared down at her bare feet. Rey took a deep breath as her head rose to meet herself looking back in the mirror. Her hair was falling out of place and was loose. Her eyes were swollen and red and her nose felt raw. She stared herself in the eyes, trying to think of how things had spiraled so quickly. Rey straightened her posture as she pulled her day-old clothes off, setting them in a simple grass-woven basket. Her naked body laid out in front of her in the reflection of the mirror. She could not look at herself, she shamefully averted her eyes. The cold stone rippled through her feet as she walked over to a fresh pile of clothes laid out for her on the small table at the entryway. Picking up the beige vest that was made of a thin linen material. She draped it into the crook of her elbow, taking her free hand and lowering to pick up the remaining white long sleeve shirt that has cuts out at the shoulder, and the black form-fitting pants.

Rey dressed layer by layer, pulling each layer onto her body. She pulled the wide brown leather belt to her waist and cinched it tight to keep her tunic in place. Rey loosened her hair from the slack knots and the thick, brown hair fell in waves past her shoulders. She raked her fingers through her thick strands, combing out the knots slowly letting it calm her. Rey, satisfied that her hair was smoothed, she pulled her hair into three knots. Her mind was beginning to clear and her thoughts began to calm, the hectic situation fell away from her.

Rey made her way to the heavy wooden door and opened it to a sunlit stone corridor. Stepping out into the hall she took an immediate left out of the entryway, she followed the long wall of rough stone, dragging the pads of her fingertips along the textured walls. Her arm dragged behind her as she found her way to the wrapping staircase. Her arm dropped to her side as her feet land on the ground floor. Life was all around. Various members of the Resistance filling the halls, walking with purpose as they carry out their tasks at hand. Watching them all around her she felt a sense of reassurance and purpose of her role in the fight to restore the Galactic Republic. She nodded internally as she began to make her way to the mess hall. Stepping through the large open archway she spotted her friends convening at a long, aged wooden table that looked to seat thirty on its' long benches. Finn's eyes caught Rey standing in the large stone archway and signaled her over to them. A smile touched her lips as she strode to the table with Finn, Rose, Poe, and BB-8 at their feet.

"Rey!" Finn called as she approached the table. Placing her hands on the edge of the table as she swung her legs one by one over the wooden bench. She sat to the left of Finn, at the edge of the group. "Rey, we were just talking about you. Where have you been? You have been a recluse since you got back. We are worried about you." the others gave small sounds of agreement as they nodded, staring at her waiting for an explanation to why their friend has been completely confined to her bedchamber. "I am fine, I promise. I have just been going through something that takes time to process. I don't even know where to begin to explain what has and is happening." She said as her eyes glanced over each of her friend's eyes. Poe piped up. "Rey, whatever you are going through, whether you want to talk about it or not, you have trust that we are here for you." BB-8 beeped in agreement with Poe. Rey reached for a piece of pre-sliced bread that sat in the middle of the table. "I don't want you to see me differently…" Rey trailed as she tore a piece of bread off and started to chew the bread.

"Rey… we are your friends. Nothing could ever change the way we see you. You are a badass who comes through time and time again." Rose replied, reaching a tender hand across the table towards Rey. Rey swallowed her bread. Torn between telling them about her intimate ties to the most infamous man in the galaxy. Knowing how each and everyone of them have been deeply affected by them. Finn, the most obvious left with a rigid scar down his spine. Poe, captured and most likely tortured for information, then there is Rose. Her sister died fighting in the attack on the Mandator. All deeply affected by this man. Her mind tells her that now is not the time. The Resistance is still recouping from Hux's fury. "Trust me when I say that now is not the time. Let me gain some more footing before I have the words to even try to explain this situation." Her friends stare at her, knowing that the matter should be dropped.

"Now, this food looks delicious. Let's eat." Rey says, with a smile spreading across her face. Her friends laughed and began to eat. Enjoying their time together, for Rey and the others, for the first time in ages. Rey needed this time to just laugh and enjoy her friend's company, trying to escape the heavy cloud of Kylo Ren. It has been a month since she has been out of her chambers, only ever coming out to eat while no one was around. Trying to avoid anyone's inquisitive stares. But, this, her loved ones gathered around, enjoying food, talking, laughing feels just like what she needed.

"Did you hear about Kylo Ren?" Rey almost spits out the water out of her mouth at Rose's abrupt question. Fearing what may come next, she sets her cup down slowly on the wooden table silently. Not wanting to draw attention to her reaction. "No, what happened?" Poe asked, his eyebrows pushed together as he lifted his fork to his mouth, taking the bite into his mouth. Rey's heart began to quicken as the silence began to stretch into an eternity. She could feel the adrenaline as it began to pump through her veins. She balls her hands, letting her trimmed nails sink into the soft flesh in hopes that it would serve as a distraction to her state of anxiety.

"I cannot believe you haven't heard yet. It is all over the HoloNet. Seriously, guys, you need to stay informed. Anyhow, General Hux gave a statement saying that Kylo Ren is now the number one enemy against the entire galaxy and he must be brought the First Order. Kylo Ren has a pretty hefty price over his head of one million credits. Hux said that he is the one responsible for the death of the former Supreme Leader and must be brought to justice. Dead or alive." Rey knew that Kylo had killed Snoke, but she knew that he laid the blame on her. The First Order, to the best of their knowledge, was lying about Snoke's death. Hux wanted the First Order for himself, willing to kill its successor for it.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Leia laid it out to Rey. So much has just happened that I am reeling from it... AND I WROTE IT. Haha. Oh well, I have some interesting plans for the next few chapters to come. Stay tuned everyone.**

**With love,**

**E**


	6. Chapter 6: Savior

Chapter 6: Savior

Rey had the sudden urge to run to Leia with this new information, she excuses herself from the table. She arises slowly from the bench trying to not cause any alarm to her friends. As she walks through the great archway and starts a direct course to the General's private office. She wove herself through the crowds in the main corridor, having to stop and go as pedestrians stepped in front of her. But when she spotted the long hallway, that just off the main corridor, she sprinted for it. The hallway was candlelit and made of rough dark stone and each door was made out heavy wood. She stopped before Leia's office and brought her hand up in a fist to knock on the door. Before her hand could reach the door, it swung open in haste. Leia stood there as if expecting her. Leia, dressed in a dark flowing dress, stood there as if she were already aware of the situation. "Leia, I have terrible news." Rey had let out almost out of breath. The General stepped aside with her hand gracefully sweeping it to her office, gesturing for her to come in. Leia offered no response to Rey as she walked into the plain, sunlit office. There was a dark, yet simple wooden desk filled with reports and datapads. There were unlit used candles in a candelabra that sat off on the side of her desk. From the sight of her desk you could tell that Leia worked much later than the rest of the Resistance to make sure that everything was in proper order.

"Leia, it's Ben. He is in trouble. The First Order has issued a bounty of one million credits over his head. General Hux wants him dead. Leia, what are we going to do?" Rey asked as she sat down in a simple chair that was in front of Leia's desk. Leia walked around the desk, to face Rey. Leia placed her hands on the edge of the aged desk to support herself as she lowered her body into the chair. She contemplated the report from Rey. Leia was stricken with fear as the worst was displayed in her mind. She could see the public execution of her _son, _her _boy. _She did not want the images to keep playing, but her fear powered it, unable to stop them.

_Ben, Kylo Ren, forced to his knees on an expansive stage. General Hux and an executioner stood on either side of him as a laser ax hovering over Ben's neck. His head is aimed at the ground as he was hunched over with his hands tucked behind him. His soft waves of black hair cover his face. Hux shouts the order to the executioner and the stormtrooper raises his ax high. Leia's panic rises in her chest. _Leia shut it out, not being able to watch the rest that was certain to come. Leia swallowed, her throat's grip was tight. Her breath was fast. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, steadying her mind. Rey sat in the agonizing silence. She waited for the General to come up with any sort of plan. Rey was so lost in panic, her mind could not focus on trying to come up with a plan that would not be as hasteful has her thoughts. "Leia," Rey interrupted the silence, "We have to save him. I do not know how, but we cannot let the First Order have him. Hux will kill him. He will plaster the execution all over the galaxy. I do not know if I could live with myself if I don't try to save him…" Rey's voice trailed off at the thought of seeing this man that she has an incredibly complex relationship with violently dying prematurely. She would see this through. She is determined to.

"It could be a trap, Rey. What if Kylo Ren betrays us? Maybe General Hux knows that you and I will go and save him. Besides, we don't even know where he is. We cannot send what we have left of our forces to go save a man that has killed thousands. Even if he is my son, I do not think sacrifice many to save one enemy." Leia's heart was heavy as she came to the logical decision. Her emotional side wanted to drop everything and run to her son, but she has a responsibility to everyone left of the Resistance and their families to make sure she made the right choices to ensure their safe returns. She could not sacrifice them for Kylo Ren. Rey was beside herself at the cold, logical and almost unfeeling rejection of the impromptu extraction mission. "General, with due respect, I do not think that I can accept that. I do not think I could let the 'what ifs' scare me away from saving him. I am going to him. I can bring a small group of fighters, voluntarily and discreetly extract Ben. Not Kylo Ren, Ben." Rey stood up with composure as she told the General of the Resistance what _she_ was going to do with or without her permission.

"That may work. No one really knows Ben Solo is Kylo Ren's given name. They only know that Ben Solo was my son. I told the Republic that my son was killed by Kylo Ren in the attack of Luke's Jedi Praxeum. I am not even sure that anyone other than Hux or us knows what he looks like. If you take a small group of men with you, you may be able to save him. This will be top secret. No one other than people you ask to join will be made aware of this, so gather those who will not decline the offer." Rey contemplated the General's idea before she spoke. Rey was thinking of those who would follow her to save a mystery man and she could only come up with four. Poe, Rose, Finn, BB-8 and maybe Leia. This is mission could go either way. Leia could be right that Hux is aware of Rey and Kylo Ren's connection and will strike them down. "Rey, I want you to find Ben. Reach out to him to see where he is hiding. Tell him he needs to stay hidden" Leia instructed sternly as Rey nodded her head.

"I will go to my chambers and see if I can reach out through the bond and speak with him. I will let you know as soon as I know anything." Rey reported back to the General. Leia gave a short nod as she stood up to excuse Rey from her office. Rey wasted no time. She stood up from her chair and swiftly walked to the wooden door. She opened it to the same candlelit hallway made of rough stone. Rey stepped out into the busy corridor, not caring if she bumped shoulders with someone walking by. She needed to get to _him. _She was focused on the task at hand with no time to stop in order to be polite. She started to run. Her feet were hitting the stone floor hard as each fast step propelled her closer to Ben. Rey approached the same wrapping staircase, she ran up the steps three at a time. Each step was true, no time to falter, everything _must_ go perfectly. Rey could not think about the 'what ifs' about this mission to save Ben.

As Rey came to her chambers she slowed to a steady pace. Her chest lifted and fell heavily as her arm rose to the cool metal handle. With slight pressure she pushed open the door to the humble room, closing the door behind her. Rey made her way to the neat bed and slowly lowered herself. She took a deep meditative breath as she tried to clear her mind. She must find Ben. Rey outstretched her arm, holding her hand out. Reaching out through the Force trying to find the bond. The Force was warm as it wrapped around her while she searched for Ben, trying to find the string to tug on. _"Ben…" Rey called out softly trying to pull the string tighter. There was only silence calling back to her. Rey steadied her breathing, trying to focus on her mind on an image of Ben. She pictures him with softened brown eyes, his long slightly crooked nose, the angular shape of his face, and his plush lips that are soft, long pink against his pale skin. The image of him was so vivid and stuck in the forefront of her mind. The warming sense of the Force tugged taut in her chest._

_"Ben, please…" she called out to him again, hoping that this could work. The bond tugged tighter against her pulling her towards him. She could see nothing but a soft glow of light. There was no floor or ceiling. This place contained no sense of left or right. It just was. This place in between was infinite. _When Rey opened her eyes, she was in the same place she had left him. The light pink and purple topped trees that had branches that twisted and contorted trunks littered the rolling field. The long, sun-beaten grass caressed the tips of her fingers. Rey looked to the grass and took it in her hand. It was soft and woolly to the touch, almost tickled her hands. "Rey wh-, what are you doing here? _How _are you here?" Ben Solo's voice cut into her thoughts. Her hand slipped from the grass back to her side as she straightened her posture. Her head snapped up from the ground to meet a shirtless Ben Solo. He was sweaty and breathing hard like he had been training. Pieces of loose hair fell out of the knot he had piled on the top of his head. Rey lifted a loose fist to her closed mouth as she cleared her throat, trying to avert her eyes from the exposed skin of his chest.

"I cannot really explain how I am here. I just reached out through the Force and pictured you… then I just connected the bond. But that is not why I came to you. I have news. Ben, the First Order released a statement all over the HoloNet calling for you to be hunted down. They are charging you with the murder of Snoke and that you must be brought to justice. General Hux put a one million credit bounty over your head, dead or alive." Rey watched his questioning expression turn to worry as she told him the abominable news. She could feel the slight panic ripple through their shared bond as it tugged at her chest. Ben knew that General Hux would try to capture him after he escaped and that he would not let him go. General Hux could not fully step into the role of Supreme Leader of the First Order if Kylo Ren was still alive. Hux will not stop until the death of Kylo Ren. Ben's fist balled at his side as he looked past Rey, processing the information.

"Ben, where are you? Your mother and I want to come and bring you back to the Resistance base." The wind blew between them, causing the grass and purple trees to sway. Ben's loose hair lifted with the wind as his eyes locked into Rey's. He did not know if going back with her may be the best decision. It would put a target on everyone's back. Innocents would be put in jeopardy because of him and he did not know if he could have more blood on his hands. His hands already felt like they were dripping with the blood of all of the innocent souls from his past. His hesitation and fear of the First Order attacking them on the Resistance base shot through the bond. Rey, disappointed, sighed and looked down at the woolly grass.

"I do not want anyone else to die because of _me_, Rey. It would be dangerous to take me back there, should I be discovered. If they find me here, then maybe it is my time to die. It is my time to pay for all the bloodshed and hurt I am responsible for. Maybe this is the way that I redeem myself. I could not live with myself if you, my mother, and everyone else on your base were to die because I was too pussy to take responsibility for my actions." Ben stepped an arm's length away for her body. He looked down at her soft brown eyes that looked back up at his dark ones. Her eyes looked down to his toned bare chest in front of her face. Ben could feel her embarrassment ripple through her. He summoned his simple grey tunic from a nearby tree into is hand. He slipped it on over his head, threading his built arms through the loose sleeves.

"The planet that we are hiding on is uncharted and does not officially exist in any database. The First Order is completely unaware of it. It will be safe for the time being, Ben, please, let me come to get you. I could not live with myself if you- if you-" Rey could not even let the words be spoken. As if she actually spoke them, then the words would be given life. No, she will not say that she could not live with herself if this _man_ before her, that she has an indescribable relationship with, had been captured and executed because she did not try hard enough to convince him to let her _help him_. Her emotions of hasteful fear and panic coursed through her and headed straight to Ben Solo. His chest tightened at the fact that, up until recently, his sworn enemy was standing before him begging to save him from his own fate. His confusion wrapped around him like a thick blanket. No one had ever fought for him and most certainly never showed any semblance of love towards him. And yet, everyone regarded him as a monster, he was feared, but _she _is able to somehow let it go. How could anyone like Rey trust a monster like Kylo Ren? How could a girl, discarded in the desert, like garbage, left to die, be so willing to trust _him_?

"How?" is all he could muster in his disbelief of this young woman standing tall in front of him. Her hope of a better future keeps her so strong in the glory of the Light, yet willing to risk everything to save him and his soul. That was her passion. Passion is a slippery slope in the Jedi Code, especially to this raw, untrained Jedi. He sensed that the Dark in her too, that she fights to resist is warm call.

"I will have a small group of voluntary fighters join me and-" Rey was cut off as _Ben's _brown eyes drifted to hers. Her eyes bore determination and hope while his were reeling in disbelief. He was staring in awe of a true Jedi.

"No," he interjected gingerly, "How could you want me? Why would you risk so much just to save me? I am a monster, Rey." he just could not figure out her obsession with saving him was. The thought brought anger up, summoning Kylo Ren.

"Because, _Ben_, I see the fight between you and Kylo Ren every time you look at me. I know that you are stronger than Kylo and that you will defeat him. The vision back on Ahch-To showed me what you could be. I do not know if you can ever return fully to the Light, just yet, but I know that if you take a step toward it with me, I can help you _balance _the fight. To help find peace within you. I can't do it for you, but I _can _help you." her argument was so convincing. _Ben _knew that this young woman truly cared about the sanctity of his soul. His feet took a step towards her unthinking. They were dangerously close to one another, but neither of them moved as they stared into each other's eyes, waiting. Rey was frozen at the advance, never being this close to him.

"I am in the Outer Rim, Raioballo sector, coordinates L-4, the planet is called Dantooine. I will find you when you land." Kylo Ren raged inside as Ben reported their location. But, Ben knew that what she had suggested was right. Kylo Ren was angered that he was throwing away the past fifteen years of his life to follow this young Jedi, but something in the Force was rattling around within him, _willing _him to take that step and join her.

"Okay. We will be there shortly." Rey nodded at him, feeling a sense of somehow she had won a battle against Kylo Ren in the war on Ben's soul. A smile touched her lips as she felt the tight tug of the bond go slack. Rey's eyes opened to her stone chambers. The light of Ahch-To's second sun setting filled the small room through the small open window. Rey felt more confident than before. She had to go. She had to begin the preparations for the mission.

* * *

Author's Note:

I am really loving how their relationship is evolving. You can see such great things, but something is holding them back from truly embracing it. We will see!

Wow, this story and it's plot is gaining so much traction! Just in a few days, the views have skyrocketed! I want to thank everyone who is reading the story and that is reviewing. It really keeps me going! If you have not already, go ahead and favorite and a follow so you can stay updated as I continue to post chapters!

With Love,

E


	7. Chapter 7: Perperation

Chapter 7: Preparation

Poe, Finn, and Rose, all sat in a deserted mess hall staring at their recently reclusive friend stand before them, wondering why she had gathered them. Curiosity buzzed between the three. Rey looked at her faithful companions staring at her, knowing they had the same question that sat on each of their tongues. How is she going to ask them to risk their lives to save a man they do not even know? Omitting the whole truth from them felt like a betrayal of their trust. She wiped the thought from her mind trying to gather the right words to ask them on an unofficial mission that is not fully sanctioned by the Resistance. She knows that is a simple extraction mission.

"I asked you here tonight to join me in an extraction mission in the Raioballo sector. The mark is a man that is of extreme value to the Resistance. I can not tell you much more about it. This extraction is top secret and not to be shared with anyone. I realize that I am giving you much to go off of, but should you accept and come with me, more details will be given. I need your help." She stood there watching the three taking in what she asked, but the information only seemed to cause more questions. The three turned to look at one another all giving themselves the same look. Rey could not tell by their expressions if they were certain about what she had just asked them. "We will help," Poe said for the group. Rose, Finn, and BB-8 all hummed sounds of agreement. Rey looked at her friends, baffled by their enduring trust for her. Under any other circumstances, she would be proud of herself for rallying her friends for a cause, but she was lying to them. It made her heart beat hard enough that she was sure they could hear it thumping through her chest.

"Right, we leave at Zero-700 hours. Poe, I need you to find a small freighter that is nondescript and does not bear any affiliation to the Resistance. Rose, I need you to find us common garb. Finn, I need you to outfit us each with blasters and other artillery we can carry on our person. And BB-8, I need you to map the course to the Raioballo sector in the Outer Rim." They all nodded and dispersed at the order. Rey had never led a mission on her own before. This was all new to her, but if she let the Force guide her then each step she took on this mission is supposed to happen. No matter the outcome. As her friends left, she made her way to her bedchamber. Each step brought her closer to him. She knew that she had to go and get him to save him from himself.

Rey came to the ancient wooden door, her eyes fell to the metal handle as her hand reached to grab it. She pushed the door open and shut it behind her. The dark stone room was illuminated by the moonlight coming through the carved window. She took a steady breath to clear her racing mind. Letting go of all the worry, anxiety, and guilt. Stepping into the middle of the dark room, Rey summoned the quarterstaff that rested up against the north wall of the room. It hit her hand with a hollow slap. Rey felt the cool exterior of the staff as she twirled in her hands. She took it in both hands and spun it with ferocity. Taking sure steps towards imaginary targets, striking them with force. She pulled the weapon to the ground as she held in one hand, planting it there. She spun around on the ball of her right foot, taking her left leg and extending it high above, causing her body to lean into the steady sidekick. She brought her left leg down as nimble as she raised it. In the same action, her staff came around in a violent strike to the invisible target's side. A blow that surely would have caused broken bones. The sweat beaded and fell down the Jedi's focused features, not letting it slow her down.

Her staff came down in a crashing force on the opponent's head. Rey felt her body moving in fluid movements as she turned her attention to behind her, imagining that another adversary approached. Rey raised the staff in both hands in a defensive pose in front of her body. Holding strong as the long staff lay horizontally to block the attacker's blow. The unseen challenger's stance corrected and went in for another attack, steering it towards Rey's ribcage. She tilted the bottom section of the staff downward, causing it to go vertical in order to block the hit. The blow rippled through her quarterstaff as she turned the force back on to the antagonist, pushing them and causing the figure to fumble backward. Rey did not waste time for them to recover. She spun the quarterstaff, lining it up with her arm as she felt the cool metal against the exposed flesh of the posterior of her arm. The weapon became an extension of her right arm. She dove forward, striking the opponent's sternum, imagining the crack from impact. She pivoted back to spin the staff, catching it in her left hand. With both hands, Rey swung the weapon hard against the attacker's skull.

They went limp and fell to the ground. Rey lowered the staff to the floor, leaning her body weight on weapons length. She almost collapsed from exhaustion. Rey shifted her body weight to her feet as she began to walk to the north wall behind her to set the staff back in its place, leaning it against the stone surface. A metal clunk sounded through the hollow weapon as she set it down. She turned around, stripping her body of each sweat-drenched layer. She left a trail of clothes leading to the attached bathroom. She stopped in front of the vanity and saw eye to eye with herself. She was breathing onerously, her mouth was parted allowing the hard breaths to escape her lungs. Her hooded eyes looked black in the dim light. The shadows creating contours on her body. She knew her anatomy but never being educated on the application. Abashed, she turned away. Her eyes shifted to the shallow tub in front of her. Rey's muscles shook with adrenaline from training. They called for more action, but Rey did not think she could go for another second. She needed a bath to calm her muscles and to wash the sweat that clung to her light olive skin.

Turning the aged metal cross handles with her right hand as she leaned over the tub, her left arm supporting her weight. The cold water spilled out of the faucet. Rey turned the handle to summon hot water. She waited for the water to heat as it filled the small tub. Her thoughts began to drift to her mission tomorrow. Will she be able to be strong enough to see it through? Does she have the confidence to look in her friends' eyes if they discover Ben's identity? Rey pushed the thoughts from her mind as she turned the running water off. Stepping into the warm bath, her quivering muscles seemed to settle when she submerged them. She let her head sink underneath the surface of the water, her knees jutting out from the water. The cool night air latched on to the exposed skin. Pushing the cold away, Rey took in the serenity the water provided. Her eyes closed, she let the peace fill her. Letting her slip into a meditative state. She felt as if she were in the womb, the sounds from the surface became muffled. She could feel her hair drifting weightlessly in the warm water.

_Rey drifted off to that place of the between. The familiar soft glow of light surrounded her. She did not feel the tug of the bond. It was not Ben calling her here. Why was she here? What summoned her here? She walked forward, looking around, but it as if she was not going anywhere. She just was. This place was an infinite plane of soft light. She reached out her hand. She could feel something brush her fingertips as she moved her hand around the invisible object. It was soft and warm like a body._

_"Rey turn around." A voice echoed around her. She turned to meet a man dressed in ancient Jedi garb. A young man with short hair with a single braid that hung from the right side stared at her. Hooded blue eyes on an angular face looked at her. The man in front of her had his arms tucked into flowing sleeves. His expressionless features bore into her. She had no idea who this man or why he summoned her._

_"Rey, my name is Anakin Skywalker. It is a pleasure to meet you, finally." His voice was soft and friendly, but it was well known that Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader. Taken aback by the Force Ghost of the former Darth Vader standing in front of her. Rey's words escaped her. All she could do was nod at the ghost._

_"I realize that this must be strange to you. But it absolutely necessary that we talk, Rey." Anakin spoke with a soft determination in his voice allowing Rey to relax. It is as the Force wills, she reminds herself. She swallowed as Anakin Skywalker stared her down as if waiting for her to catch up._

_"Where are we? What is this place, Master Skywalker?" Rey asked in earnest. She is still reeling from the fact that the former Sith summoned her here. She is not even a full Jedi, her power is still raw and unrefined._

_"This is the Force. We are in the Force's body, so to speak. It is an infinite plane of existence. But that is not why I called you here. I must speak to you about Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, my grandson. I know of the responsibility you have taken on to balance Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. I can feel your doubt in your abilities that make you unsure whether you are even able to save him without sacrificing yourself. I see your call to the Darkside. I implore you to embrace that. I only mean that you balance it within yourself, not truly Dark nor Light. Grey. Mace Windu is a prime example. He was the only Jedi who was able to harness power from both sides. He was trained in the seventh form, Vaapad. The trials of learning this form are dangerous. Mace Windu is the only Jedi to not fall to the Darkside from this practice,"_

_"The point I am trying to make, Rey, is that you can balance the Force within and still be a Jedi. Do not let the fear of the call encapsulate you. Fear is a virus that thrives in the dark. Don't make the same mistakes I did." The information Master Skywalker laid out to Rey was dumbfounding. She was stricken in awe._

_"But, Master Skywalker, how? I am so confused about how I am to do this." Her honest question echoed in the infinite plane._

_"It is as the Force wills, Rey. It will guide you. Let it flow through you. You must go. You are running out of air." Anakin's Force Ghost started to fade away from her. A tugging motion ripped her from her feet and she could feel herself falling back to herself._

_"May the Force guide you, Rey." the voice seemed so faint._

Rey's eyes opened under the water as she shot up, breathless. Her lungs were gasping for air. Her breaths were so short, her body was trying to suck in as much air as possible. Rey forced herself to stop breathing for a moment. Calming her body, she took deep breaths to slow down. The water was now cold and made her shiver. She slowly rose from the shallow bath, stepping over the tub's short wall. She summoned a towel that was folded on the vanity to her hand. The towel came to her hand unraveled. She took in both hands and began to dry her body. Exhausted from training and her discussion with Anakin, she listed off lazily to her small bed and collapsed. Thoughts of his words drifted in her mind as she fell asleep.

* * *

Author's Note:

I just want to state that writing this fanfiction requires a lot of research. I will tell you that I can spend twenty minutes scouring Wookieepedia just to find one piece of information. But I am having a lot of fun doing it. I am learning so much about it as I go along, expanding my knowledge of the Star Wars universe.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this update! I know it was filler, but it will pick up next chapter, trust me ;). Do not forget to comment your thoughts in the review section as you read, they help me keep writing for y'all. And if you are new here, go ahead and give the story a fav and follow to continue reading as I update!

With Love,

E


	8. Chapter 8: Extraction

Chapter 8: Extraction

*Warning: this chapter contains gore and violence and mature content, viewer discretion is advised*

Rey awoke to the first sun of Ahch-To's light penetrating her eyelids. Her eyes slowly opened to her quiet room. She squinted at the light hitting her eyes almost violently. Rey rolled over to her side blinking her eyes repetitively to rid the sleep from her. Her hands instinctively rose to her face, rubbing it as she yawned. She let her hands fall back to her side and began to sit up, stretching her stiff muscles. She swung her legs over the bed's edge. The cold stone floor hit her feet as she stood up. Rey walked over to the small table by the door that had a fresh pile of clothes on top of it. She took the first outfit off the stack and tucked it between her arm and body as she set the rest of the clean clothes back down to the small table. Aware of the lack of clothes, Rey snaked each limb into the layer of clothes. Pushing her last leg into the loose pants that were cut off at the calf, she walked towards the bathroom.

She brushed her fingers through the knotted strands. Her fingers caught on a nest of hair, forcing her fingers to push forward, grimacing at the pain. Satisfied, the Jedi pulled her hair into three equal knots running down the curvature of her head. She looked at herself in the mirror above the vanity. She looked tired from her restless sleep. Unable to stop thinking about Master Skywalker's, the former Sith Lord Darth Vader, words about learning to not only balance herself but also Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. She shook the thought from her mind, she had to focus on the mission. If she did not give her one hundred percent, it could go awry. Her friends were counting on her. He counted on her whether he would like to admit or not. Rey splashed cold water on her face washing away any remnants of sleep and tired skin away. Her body leaned over the stone counter, her face dripping with water. She felt for a towel blindly with her left hand, finding it, she brought it to her wet face. Patting off the water, she folded the towel back neatly and placed it back to the counter.

She looked at the first sun, the second just peering over the horizon, and could tell it was about 0700 hours. She walked to the entryway, summoned her staff to her left hand allowing it to drift into her hand. Rey brought the staff's sling around her shoulder, allowing the weapon to rest along her length. Holding the strap in one hand. She turned her head to the right, looking at her earth-toned knapsack, willing it toward her. She slung the bag's strap over her right shoulder and headed out the door. The opened door exposed the busy corridor. Aliens and Humans just getting up and around for the day. Rey joined the stream of traffic as she shut the wooden door behind her. The rush of life around her inspired hope within herself and lifted some of the pressure off her shoulders. Hope. Hope is the only thing Rey has ever had in her life. It is the one constant that she could rely on in her times of need and uncertainty. Life always has a way of pushing forward, even when devastation hits, it just kept going. Creating new life in lieu of death and destruction.

The outdoor airfield was almost deserted since the Resistance has been in hiding. Only weekly maintenance checks on the X-Wings starfighters and the escape pods that they had left, or were not destroyed by the First Order, were required to keep them ready in case of an emergency evacuation. She spotted Poe first. His frame peaked from behind an X-Wing. His head was thrown back, laughing at something. A smile touched the corners of Rey's lips as she approached the group. Looking upon the freighter Poe was leaning on, it was perfect. It was an old AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter. The Galactic Empire used these ships in their navy and were also used by smugglers and mercenaries. A perfect disguise, no one would suspect members of the Resistance to be aboard a ship associated with the days of Darth Vadar. Finn and Rose stood next to each other at the ship entrance with BB-8 at their feet.

"Poe, where did you find this thing? This thing is ancient." Rey exclaimed as she looked over the ship that appeared to be in good condition. The exterior was intact and showed no signs of wear for its age. The tall rectangular windows to the cockpit allowed her to see dated equipment and electronics inside. Her hand cupped over her eyes as her face was pressed to the clear Transparisteel window. Transparisteel is a hardy material that is created to withstand the harsh environment of space while allowing visibility to pilots as they flew across the galaxy. Rey turned to the pilot standing confidently with a grin on his face, half a step away from laughing like he had done the impossible.

"I found this beaut at a trading post on Bantu. The Crolute that sold it to me, that cheap gelatinous bastard, said he wanted they X-Wing I was flying and my blaster or no deal. But it was worth it. This N3 is old, but man, she is fast. I flew it back here and it handles well. It is not as agile as an X-wing, but this baby will get the job done. Plus, it is an old Galactic Empire navy ship, so it has got some pretty good nav systems." Poe said with pompousness flooding off of him. He was proud of his find. His hand was petting the ship mindlessly as he looked at Rey. Rose and Finn rolled their eyes and laughed at Poe, this was nothing new for any of them. BB-8 beeped at Poe, calling him an arrogant flyboy.

"Good enough for me. Now, let's get going. We have a good amount of distance to cover. Let's load up." Rey held the strap of her quarterstaff tightly in her hand as she moved toward the entrance that was tucked under the wing. The entry door hissed opened to reveal steal walls. The short corridor veered left as she stepped in, the rest following behind her. As she turned she came up to a door to her right, it opened upon her approach. It was a storage closet, nothing interesting. The group continued the hall to the open cockpit. Rey stopped at the entryway of the cramped room. It contained two pilot chairs, a navigational screen in between the pilots' controls and various electronics and blinking buttons scattered around the cockpit. This ship is dated, but Rey could see the value of the vessel. It contained everything they would need. When she turned, her friends had already moved on to explore the rest of the freighter.

"Hey Rey, come check this out!" Finn shouted from the back of the ship. Rey came out of the cockpit, turning left towards the back hallway. She set her staff and bag down ina pile as she walked toward the commotion. This room must be the rest area. There was a small couch that seemed to be falling apart and off to the far wall there was a table in the center of a semi-circle booth. She saw Finn, Rose, BB-8, and Poe kneeling around a pile of clothes. She looked down at her friends, they were digging through them, putting the clothes that caught their eyes up to their bodies.

"What is all this? Are these the clothes you found, Rose?" Rey's eyebrows lifted as she turned to Rose, squatted near the piles of clothes.

"Yep! Here, these are for you. I picked them out for you. We have to look the part." Rose came up with a pile of clothes with boots on top. The length of the boots fell off to one side. Rey's face was contorted looking at the clothes. She had never worn anything other than simple linen attire. She was curious to see what Rose had picked out for her. Rey walked over to the table and sat the clothes down on the table. She picked the boots up first, turning them over to examine the soft, aged leather. The black boots were tall and had a low heal. Rey was relieved to notice the low heal, knowing that she would not be able to do anything in them if they were not. She set them off to the side. Picking up a brown cropped suede jacket that had a flapped pocket on the breast. The material was soft in her hands. She had never seen anything like this, let alone be able to call it hers. Her fingers traveled over the ribbed sides as she sat the jacket down in a pile next to the boots. Next in the pile was a form-fitting tunic that had long sleeves and a slim mock neck. It was an offwhite color and is made out of cotton material. She examined the piece before digging further into the pile. The pants were dark green cargo pants. There were flapped pockets on either side of the thigh. Rey traced the slightly cushioned, ribbed knees as she set them down too. Rey's eyes looked over extravagant clothes, at least they were to her with her simple taste, and turned on the pads of her feet toward Rose.

"Rose, I am not sure I can wear these," She gestured her left hand at the clothes that sat crumpled in a pile. "These are unlike anything I have ever worn. Plus, they look so tight, I don't know if they would even fit me." Rey's words dragged Rose from Finn and Poe trying clothes on and pretending to shoot each other with finger guns. They could be idiotic sometimes.

"Rey, trust me, these clothes will fit. And besides, you will look great in them. Come on, you are beautiful. It is okay to accentuate it." Rose gave her a small wink as she tried to fill Rey with confidence. Rey had never done anything of the sorts, the concept was foreign to her. Rose's words helped a little bit. The young Jedi nodded her head at her friend, taking the clothes up in her arms. Rey walked out of the rest area and went back to the hall where she had left her staff and bag. Picking up the items, she slung their straps around her shoulders. She turned to continue to the crew's quarters. As she rounded the corner, there were only a handful of rooms for the crew. Rey took the last one at the end of the hallway. The door hissed open, thankful it was not a manual door with everything she was carrying. She walked into the small room. The rectangular cabin had been sparsely furnished. There were two bunks mounted into the walls, one on either side. The bunks each had one pillow and thin blankets. The mattresses looked thin, but she has had worse.

Rey crossed the room to the right bunk and set her pile down. She stripped her body of her linen attire, letting the pieces fall to the metal floor of the room. She picked up the cargo pants, finding they were more form-fitting than she liked, but she had to disguise herself. Her old clothes would be a dead give away that she was a Jedi. The pants, she found she liked. The style complimented her. Each layer of clothing, she found she liked once she had put the whole outfit on. There was a knocking on the door. Just slipping on the suede jacket, Rey shouted through the door to come in. It was Rose. She had something in her hand, hanging beside her, and she was smiling as she entered Rey's chambers. Rose was wearing something similar to Rey. She had her hair pulled into a tight knot that rested low on her head. Her boots came over her knees. Instead of a jacket, Rose wore a tight vest that held many pockets. She had never seen the mechanic look so intimidating before.

"Here, one more thing. This is a holster for your blaster." Rose announced as she raised her hand to Rey, gesturing that she take it from her. The soft brown leather sheath reminded Rey of Han Solo's. She took it from her. Holding it out in front of her, examining it, trying to figure out just how she was supposed to put it on. She unclasped the wide hexagonal-shaped buckled and wrapped around her waist. It hung vertically from her right. The holster hit the upper midsection of her thigh. She opened the strap and fastened it to her leg.

"Wow, Rey. You look great. Oh, and I also came to tell you that we are about to take off and Poe needs you in the cockpit." Rose walked out through the door with Rey close by.

* * *

Streaks of light whizzed by the ship as they traveled through hyperspace on their way to Dantooine. Luckily Dantooine was in the Outer Rim Territories and it was not going to be a long journey. This was going to be the first time in months that she had seen Kylo Ren in person. She had talked to him so many times through the bond, felt his presence, but after all their meetings all the things they had shared, how is she going to act around him? The intimacy of their thoughts, feelings, even memories have softened how they viewed each other. Why else would he let her come to him? How could someone like Kylo Ren have trusted someone who, until recently, was his sworn enemy with who he had some sort of dark infatuation. He hated her core, yet wanted to talk to her. He could not stand her idealism, yet felt drawn to her enticing offer to join her. He hated her almost constant state of calm and he was envious of her ability to center herself. He hated her, yet wanted to be near her. She balances him without even trying.

"We are dropping out of Hyperspace in t-minus one minute." BB-8 announced to Poe and Rey. They both sat up in their chairs to ready themselves for the sudden drop in speed, which they are bound to feel in this ancient ship. The emerald planet appeared before them. Clouds swirled around the colossal planet. It looked just as beautiful as Rey had imagined it to be. A sudden, familiar tug pulled at her chest. She knew that Ben was close. She could feel him on the planet waiting for her to find him. She was so close. The thought of her deceit to get her friends to help her extract Ben Solo, weighed heavily over her chest as they began to descend to the planet's atmosphere.

"Rey, switch the stabilizers on. Landing is going to be a little bumpy." Poe broke the silence, never taking his eyes away from the approaching planet. Rey hastily found the stabilizer and opened its covering and flipped the switch. Automatically, the ship leveled and began to fly down towards the planet's surface smoothly. The atmosphere was burning around them as the freighter dove through it with rapid speed.

"Who would come here to hide out?" Poe scoffed to himself as they began their descent to a nearby airfield that was scattered with ships and speeders from what Rey could tell were traders and tourists. Rey let the landing gear down, letting the ship settle on the ground as smoothly as the fossil could manage. Their ship seemed to blend in perfectly to the others parked around it. Poe cut the engines to the N3 and got up. He wore a dark tunic that plunged, exposing a mature chest, a long wool trench coat with brass buttons, and high boots over his fitted pants. He looked like a captain to their band of traders. But they looked more like smugglers. Rey followed behind him and BB-8. The group convenes at the entrance to the ship. Each of them standing around waiting for the next step. Finn handed out DH-17 blaster pistols to each of them. They were heavy, but they will get the job done if needed.

"Here, put these in your holsters. I also brought back up energy packs for your pistols. I don't imagine that we will need them. This is a pretty calm planet." Rey took the blaster and two packs from Finn, tucking it into the holster on her thigh that held it snugly to her body. She placed the energy packs on the magnetic strip on her holster. The energy packs snapped to the belt with an audible clicking sound.

"Alright," Rey called the group's attention, " This man we are here to extract is a man that is valuable to the Resistance, we must, at all cost, make sure to return him to base. So, be vigilant out there and follow my lead." Rey let out sternly, nodding to her friends. As they stepped out of their ship, BB-8 was beeping loudly behind them. Rey turned to the little robot.

"Sorry, BB-8, we cannot take you with us. You will draw too much attention." We will be back in a little while. Guard the ship" Rey patted the droids head softly and turned, allowing the doors to close and headed for her friends that were huddled together off a little ways from the ship. She felt anxious about being this close to Ben. She had no idea how this was going to pan out. All she knew was that she is here for her friend and that she must take him back with her to protect him from the First Order. Even though he gave her no reason to save him, due to his past, she knew that even Kylo Ren deserves a fresh start. She knows he wants it. She can feel it, see it every time his dark brown eyes look at her. Rey and the rest of the group started to head to the major city of Dantoon Town. The outskirts were beautiful. The tall wolly grass grazed her legs as she walked through it. The same purplish trees scattered the field. The closer she got to the town, the stronger the bond tugged as if he were guiding her to him. She tried to reach out to him through the Force. The bond pulled harder. She could feel it starting to open up.

"_Ben, I am here. I am coming up on the town."_ She informed Ben Solo. She could feel him there, but no response. Was he just as uncertain about this as she? Rey continued down the path that started to turn into cobblestone and buildings started to come into view.

"_Ben, whe-" _She was cut short with his reply. She felt as if she had not heard his, cold, yet soft voice in months.

"_I know, keep walking until you get to the outer edge of the town. I will be waiting for you."_ Ben instructed her, trying to not create an avenue for her to dive into things. She gave an internal nod as the bond closed.

"This way everyone, follow me." Rey began to make her way up to the front of the group, weaving them through the busy city. The other side of the city must be miles away. But, they will make it before nightfall if they kept a good pace. As they were coming up to the edge of the city, Rey noticed a group of people standing outside, which seemed to be a bar. Three human males, a female Twi'lek, and a male Zabrak. Their dark-colored clothes all bared a symbol that identified them as bounty hunters. Fear rose up in her chest. The five of them stared her group down, causing Rey to become uneasy as she continued to Ben, a huge payday. Did they look too obvious? Did their clothes give them away, causing the band of bounty hunters to notice them? The uneasy feeling continued to follow her as she continued to the edge of the city. No one talked as they walked, everyone was being vigilant as their eyes swept their surroundings.

_"Just a bit closer."_ Ben's voice sounded in her head. She could feel his force signature drawing closer to her. It was like a warm pull that radiated from her chest. Rey could feel his energy roll over her body in waves. She could feel his anxiety as she drew nearer

Ben spotted her through the crowd. She was wearing tight clothes fit for a smuggler. He had never seen her wear anything like it. The clothes accentuated her curves, things he never knew she had. She had always worn basic and loose-fitting clothes. His heart had started to pump harder as she came close to him. He was looking straight at her, unable to move. There he was, at a busy crossing at the edge of town and he could only see her. Ben stood in front of a trader's table. He was some form of humanoid, tall, dark wrinkly skin, and red eyes. The trader was shouting in his native dialect. Ben stepped into the crowd, waiting for Rey to spot him. The tourist and shoppers maneuvered around his tall, built stature. Rey's eyes swept to the right and saw him there, with the same refined expression on his face. He wore a dark brown robe that hovered over the cobblestone. His black boots hit just under the knees. His tight black pants, tucked into his boots and a linen vest over a plain long sleeve shirt. Rey almost stopped at the sight of him. She waved her group over to follow her. He did not know she would bring _him_. FN-2187. Anxiety rose up within him. FN-2187 knows him. He knows who he is. Worked under him. Rey grabbed his arm, tugging him over to the group. They all stared at him. Not knowing what to do, he stood there, jaw clenched and fist balled tightly. _"Stay calm. They don't know who you are. Follow my lead." _Rey prompted through their bond. Letting her calm ease his anxiety. His muscles relaxed, letting his jaw go and his fist unravel to his sides.

"Everyone, this is Ben Solo. This is General Leia's son. Ben, this is Poe, Finn, and Rose." Rey introduced him by his real name. That has not happened for the better part of fifteen years. It shocked him, but he dare not let it show. Ben Solo just nodded at the group. Not able to say a word to any of these strangers. Knowing that he had a profound effect on their lives. He looked away from their questioning faces, unable to cope with the memory of Kylo Ren's actions. The silence drew awkwardly. His hands were beginning to clench again, not knowing what to do. Rey put a friendly hand on his shoulder, allowing her calm to flow through him. Ben took a deep breath to clear his mind and to push away Kylo Ren.

"I cannot believe this is General Leia's son. Wow, we were all told you were murdered by Kylo Ren on Yavin 4!" The former Stormtrooper exclaimed, FN-2187 must not remember their fight that night on Starkiller Base. When he slashed him, it must have taken extensive medical care to bring him back. He thought over FN-2187's words, in a sense Ben Solo did die that night at Luke's Praxeum. Ben's eyes fell to the ground at the memory of Kylo Ren's birth. The screams of his classmates hollowed him out. The fire's warm blaze flashed over him, feeling it on his skin. Ben could feel the rage deep within him, Kylo Ren was calling out to him, begging for control. Rey felt his anger swelling through her. She could feel the claws sinking into her, climbing out from the depths from Ben's mind. Rey moved her hand to the back of his arm, offering a comforting touch, almost intimate. She did not realize her surroundings, but that did not bother her. It felt natural to rest her hand on him, comforting him. Finn's eyes snapped to the gesture. Questioning the familiar touch she offered, and to his knowledge, a stranger.

"Well, I'm alive. We should move, we have been out in the open for too long." Ben tried to erase any inflections in his voice, leaving them with cold and monotone words as he rose the suggestion. He lightly pulled his arm away from Rey's grasp as he began to lead the group through the city. Rey's feet hesitated to move for a moment, allowing her to take a position in the back of the group. After recklessly touching him, she thought it would be best to keep her distance from him. Rey could not allow herself to make such intimate gestures to, what her friends think, a perfect stranger. _Stupid. Stupid, girl._ Rey thought to herself as they traveled back through the now dwindling crowds. How could she make a mistake like that? She had never been a careless person. Sure, she has made a rash decision or two. But this? This is a man known throughout the galaxy as Kylo Ren, a ruthless murderer and she just touched him like he was hers. She could not allow herself to be anything other than a friend to him, a teacher.

Rey was walking next to Finn as they passed the halfway point of the city. Their convoy was silent, hands ready to grab their DH-17 pistols at a moment's notice. Ben had drifted to the middle, allowing him to be surrounded by them, but he was also interested in FN-2187. Interested in his proximity to Rey. Even though they did not say a word, there was an unspoken closeness to them. Rey's eyes swept the area as they come up to the bar. The band of bounty hunters were gone. The crowds of people and aliens had practically disappeared. The eerie deserted streets made panic grow within the group's minds. She could feel it coming from Ben too. As if this was something he had never experienced before. "Everyone, keep your eyes open… this-this shouldn't be like this." Worry had crept into his voice as he warned them. The air felt so still as they walked on edge. As if any moment something could strike. Rose walked a little closer to Finn, wrapping herself around his muscular arm. Rey turned, walking backward, her hand lifting the clasp of the holster. Resting her hand on the hilt of the pistol, ready for the pin to drop. Rey could feel everyone on edge, amplifying her adrenaline.

There was a clattering from objects falling nearby. Everyone's heads shot toward the sound. Rey's blaster was drawn in its direction. Kylo wanted to reach for his lightsaber, but couldn't in fear that he would surely be identified the moment it ignited. FN-2187 lightly tapped him on the shoulder, Ben spun around, ready for whatever attacker, but he was met with a semi-familiar face. Finn slightly jumped at Ben's reaction but stood steady. He clutched a small hold-out blaster to him. Ben's eyes looked at the compact pistol, taking it in the next moment. He felt secure having a weapon in the uneasy situation. They all took defensive positions, their backs turned to each other, watching every avenue and alleyway. Their blasters were in their hands, ready to fire at anything that moved. Rey backed into something with a thud. She spun viciously, her blaster pointed at it. Ben's shocked face met her contorted expression. Letting the blaster drop slightly from Ben's built frame. They gave each other a quick nod as they began to turn back to the street, scanning every inch. They walked through the abandoned city toward the airfield, aware of everything.

The airfield was now almost empty, save for their ship and a few others scattered. The ship was outlined by the dark in the unlit lot as they approached. The group was huddled at the bow of the ship, finally being able to take a breath. Ben stood next to Rey. The group's eyes kept sweeping the dark as they stood huddled around. The silence filled the air. "I am tired of feeling like I am being watched. I am going inside." Poe announced to the small group. "Me too." Finn agreed, letting out a deep sigh of exhaustion. Rose followed the two men into the old freighter, leaving Ben and Rey alone in the dark. Rey felt her heart quicken as she stood next to him. The thought of being alone with him after everything that has transpired over the past few months left her feeling nervous. It felt different this time compared to being alone with him through the bond. She could reach out and touch him, feel his body heat on her hand. Ben felt her sudden change in mood, her heart was beating hard within her chest. Her blood coursed through her. He began to sweat at the echoes of Rey's heightened emotional state. The bond tugged harder at their chests. They dare not look at each other or say a word. This moment felt so intense and personal. They felt like they were the only people in the world. Hyper aware of the other's movement, thoughts, and feelings. Why must it be her? A young woman who stood against everything he was not. And yet she was a beautiful poison, born to drive him mad. Rey, so innately good and enticing. She had always been meant for him. No matter how much he denied himself. She was his poison, his balance. Ben turned his body toward her and looked down. She was not brave enough to face him. She stood there, her heart pumping, not moving a muscle. She could feel her breath coming out heavily. Ben leaned onto the ship looking down at her small stature.

"Rey, look at me." Ben's voice had an almost sweetness to it. It was so foreign to both of them. Unaware he had that within him. The sweet voice made her relax, her body moved against her will. Turning toward him, looking up at his relaxed face. But Ben's eyes showed something else that she had never witnessed before. The gaze almost set her aflame when her eyes met his. Ben's eyes looked black in the dark, and his face was cut by the shadows. His hand reached out for her face. Her skin was hot and soft in his hand. Rey leaned into his touch. His hand was rough and calloused but had a gentle quality to it as it caressed her soft skin. Neither could believe the moment unfolding before them. They had never touched like this, it was intimate and endearing. His thumb was large in comparison to her face as he softly stroke her cheek. His eyes were locked into hers. He could feel Rey's insides melt against his touch. Why was he doing this? Touching her so personally? How could he just let himself surrender to her completely? But her skin was so soft and he could feel the effects of it ripple through their bond. Her face, cupped in his hand felt so natural. He lifted his hand from her face and it fell back to his side. Ashamed and frustrated at the thought that she had, yet again, tempted him.

"Please don't…" she let out almost in a whisper. Her eyes still glued on him. She could feel his shame and irritation rebound through the bond. Her skin felt cold where his hand had been. Ben felt his chest ache at the sight of her. So timid and nervous by his touch, her eyes fell to his chest for a moment before she rose them back at him. Her hair was down around her face in soft waves and the slight breeze lifted stray strands of hair. She was so beautiful and she did not even realize it. It was these moments that she let that mask of being strong and fearless go and just be her. A woman who is soft, caring, and vulnerable. Rey looked up at Ben, her eyes were so raw. Not red and swollen. No, she was not sad. Her eyes exposed her thoughts, wants, and the way she was trying to resist the way he made her feel. Ben could not take his eyes off her. The moonlight illuminated her face as she stood there, her face upturned looking at him, their hearts pumping. They could feel each other's blood pumping through the warm connection of their bond. They were both scared to move. They both swallowed hard. The fuzzy feeling of nerves and anticipation rebounded through the both of them. Their breathing quickened in unison. Ben's large hand rose to meet her soft face again, taking a step towards Rey. Her breath hitched as his hand moved to the back of her head. His face was inches away from hers. Ben looked into her brown eyes, almost black in the dark, searching them. As if asking for permission. His hand clenched her hair a little tighter in anticipation. He had never done this or been this way with anyone.

He was with Luke for the better part of his childhood to his early adolescent years. His uncle taught the Jedi Code to the letter. Then after Kylo Ren was born, Snoke thought females were distractions and thought it made the Sith weak. But now, in the dark with this young woman, his body responding to hers, hers to his, none of that mattered. It all drifted away. She began to press into his body. He let out a sigh at the warmth of her body through her clothes. She fit into the contours of his body, almost like she was made for him. His hand in her hair started to pull her head slightly, forcing her face upward towards his. She slid up his body, feeling his lean muscles through his linen clothes as Rey stood up on the tips of her toes. A sharp shiver ran down her spine, feeling warmth in her abdomen start to pool. She let out a soft, quiet sigh at him. Her soft exhale brushed his lips. He felt her pleasure ripple through him. It hit his body with ferocity. Ben pulled her hair harder as he bit his lip, trying not to vocalize his enjoyment. They were so close to each other, their lips almost brushed. Their hearts were racing. The Force around them was warm as it flowed through them. Their bond rebounding everything back to one another. The feeling of her hair being pulled, the warmth, the pleasure, the excitement, all being doubled back to them. Ben could feel Rey's hand trailing up his body, to edge him closer to her. Her hand moved slowly and tentatively up his back. Her eyes watched his, but he glanced behind her. Their moment now on pause. Her hand stopped midway up his lean back. She sensed it too.

Her head snapped to look behind her. In an instant, her DH-17 blaster was in her hand and pointed towards the dark. They did not see the attacker but sensed a disturbance in the Force. Ben's hand drifted to his back where the infamous lightsaber was tucked away. Hesitating for a moment. If he brings it out, then he will surely be discovered. But if he doesn't, then the cost might be his or Rey's life. That was something he could not have. He would not have more innocent blood on his hands, especially hers. He summoned the lightsaber to his hand, allowing it to slowly drift. He gripped it tight. He could sense through the Force that multiple signatures were lurking in the shadows, watching them. Rey's blaster seemed to follow nothing, but she could sense one of their attackers moving. It is against the Jedi Code to kill, but to disarm and disable is surely appropriate and she knew this. Just then a shot fired off, a red light was hurling towards them. In a fraction of a second, Ben ignited his lightsaber. He waited for the right moment to ricochet it back at the attacker. He tracked it with the Force. It came right towards him, Rey flattened herself against the ship's cold exterior as Ben sought a defensive strike at the blaster round. The infamous lightsaber wielder hit it back in the direction it came from. In the dark, there was a loud yelp of pain and in the same moment a hard thud in the grass.

Rey aimed her blaster low at an unseen target, her hands grasped the blaster's grip sternly. The target settled, waited. But she did not waste time. Her index finger pulled the trigger. The blast rang loudly in her ears as the blaster's round shot out, disabling the target. The ship's doors hissed open, ripping her attention from the attackers. Poe and Finn barreled out the freighter. They saw the burning red lightsaber first. Anger boiled up in the Resistance fighters. Ignoring the oncoming threat of attack, they pulled Rey back into the ship. "Let me go. I have to help. They are attacking us. Let me go!" Rey was screaming at her friends. She needed to help him. She needed him. Her hands gripped the entryway, holding onto it with all her strength. But the two men were stronger than her. Their stronghold around her ripped her fingertips from the frame of the entry. Ben was furious at the sight, watching her being 'rescued' by a defector and a pompous human male from him like he was some animal. The door hissed closed behind them and the ship's engines roared to life. _She could have fought harder, used the Force if she wanted to stay with us._ Kylo Ren spewed venom within Ben. Betrayal and anger washed over him like a wild wave crashed on the ocean. His grip on the lightsaber tightened as he watched the ship fly off into the night sky. His attackers no longer distracted at the ship beginning to take off, refocused their advances of Kylo Ren. Ben surrendered to Klyo's anger and hurt that someone who he had thought cared about him just left him alone. She had filled him with false feelings in order to achieve her self-serving goals. Kylo Ren internally stretched in the body he had been locked out of. He threw his head sideways as if he had a stiff neck. He snapped his head at the sound of multiple feet hitting the ground with speed.

The attackers rushed toward Kylo Ren. Three human-like forms, silhouetted by the dark, came closer to him. Kylo Ren relished in the fact that he was about to cut them down. The vision of their lifeless bodies was like a drug to him. He loved the feeling. The first to advance him was a female Twi'Lek. Her form was slight and small compared to his own. Her face had a focused expression as her electrostaff swung at him. He took a defensive stance as their weapons clashed. The Twi'lek drew back her staff, whirring above her head. Kylo Ren watched her careless, untrained movements closely. His lightsaber swung upward, slashing the Twi'leks arms and face, leaving her with jagged burns. The female humanoid crumpled the ground before him. _Please don't do it_, Ben begged from the sidelines as he watched Kylo Ren's thoughts turn twisted and dark. Kylo Ren crept to the injured Twi'lek, writhing in pain on the ground. An evil, sickly smile spread across his face as the female's gaze met his pure black eyes. Her eyes were wide with primal fear. She was going to die and they both knew it. Her comrades blasted warning shots at the ground as he slowly inched his way closer. Kylo Ren did not even bother to look up. He kept his sights on the injured attacker before him, the evil and the contorted smile never wavering. He could feel her heart beating in fright of his face. He loved it. He wanted it to stay like that forever. He raised his lightsaber high above his head, bringing his left hand to the hilt, clasping it rigidly. The burning red blade was pointed at the Twi'Lek, she was sobbing and begging for her life. Kylo Ren took it in delight. He relished in the sight. He took a quick breath as he used his fierce strength and drove the lightsaber towards the scared Twi'Lek.

The lightsaber made a damped swooshing sound as it drove with force toward Kylo Ren's doe-eyed target. The red sword burned through the Twi'Lek's skull. The Sith could feel the weapon burrow through the soft tissue. He started to chuckle at his fresh kill. The smell of burning flesh wafted into Kylo Ren's nose in the still air, he started to laugh harder. Her comrades were frozen in the moment, watching one of their own be executed in front of them. "Nallah!" A male voice sounded from a short distance, still hidden in the dark, but Kylo Ren knew exactly where he stood. He could feel his Force signature, his heart beating with speed. Kylo snapped his head at the voice, he was running towards his fallen comrade. Kylo Ren pulled his sword from the cauterized wound in the Twi'Lek's skull, readying himself for the attack. Two male figures came running out from the shadows, with blasters drawn. The human male fired at the dark Sith, ready for revenge of his fallen friend. Kylo Ren extinguished the sword as he tucked and rolled to the right, away from the attacker's blaster rounds. The Sith rolled back to his feet, crouched in the shadows. The male Zabrak was searching for Kylo Ren, sweeping his blaster along the dark. The human male was close to him. He quietly shifted his weight, stretching his leg out in front of the human, tripping him. At the same moment, he ignited the lightsaber, waiting for the target to fall before him. He drove the sword through the middle of the male's back. Kylo Ren felt the spine crack from the heat of the sword. He twisted the blade, pulling out from the limp body. A shot fired his way from the Zabrak in the distance. His lightsaber met the blaster round, deflecting it back at him. The Zabrak fell with a thump. Kylo Ren's breathing was hard as his chest heaved. Relishing in the deaths of the pathetic excuses of opponents.

His hand slowly rose towards his face, using the back of his dark robes to wipe the sweat. He let his arm go limp, letting it fall back in fatigue. Something shifted off in the distance, he searched for it with the Force as his hand was drawn outward. Kylo Ren felt a lifeform's signature. It was wounded, scared, and trying to hide from him. He slowly stalked towards the signature. The lightsaber in his hand still burned in a tight grip. The tall grass crumpled under his feet as he approached the body lying in the grass. The man laid deathly still, frightened by the horrifying opponent that stalked toward him with a glowing red lightsaber in his hand. The man wore clothes similar to his fallen friends with a badge sewn on the sleeve of his jacket. Kylo Ren identified the bare skull of a mythosaur with downturned horns that curved inward toward the creature's jaw. This man was a bounty hunter, and so were the others that the Sith had just brutally cut down. Kylo Ren extinguished the lightsaber as he knelt slowly onto his right knee, balancing his weight on the ball of his left foot. He stared at the man looking back at him with wide eyes. Kylo's breath had settled as an eerie calm began to wash over him as if what he had just done was mere sport. He had enjoyed it, finding a dark pleasure in it even. _You monster_, Ben whispered in wake of Kylo Ren's murderous bender. _You will never be strong enough, Ben Solo. I know you, I am you. I see your weaknesses. You could have stopped me. You are a pathetic little boy,_ Kylo Ren retorted back at his internal counterpart, feeling him sink lower within him.

"Who are you,'' Kylo Ren asked, no emotion in his cold voice. The man was frozen before him, unable to speak in fear what the Sith wanted to do with him after he answered. A moment passed before Kylo Ren began to grow impatient. "I asked you a question that I will not ask again." Kylo raised the hilt of the lightsaber to underneath the man's jaw, threatening to ignite it into the soft tissue. The man gulped loudly letting his jaw fall open, exhaling a short breath. "My name- my name is Obran." he let out quickly, slightly stuttering. Kylo sat there for a moment, watching Obran.

"Who hired you, Obran? How did you identify me?" Kylo Ren's lightsaber pressed a little harder underneath the man's jaw as he asked the question. Threatening to ignite the sword if the man made him wait again.

"We weren't hired. Not exactly. We saw the bounty on you. It is plastered all over the galaxy on the HoloNet. We saw the smuggler girl and her friends walking through town. We noticed their nice clothes and blasters. It caught our attention. Then we saw you step out in front of them. We identified you by the Jedi robes. We did not know if it was you, but we followed you and your friends anyway. If it was you, then we would get paid, if it wasn't then tonight could be written off. But then you brought out the red lightsaber. Then we knew." Obran let out plainly. Waiting to see if the man was going to kill him.

"And is there any recorded evidence of your findings tonight, Obran? Now, answer me honestly. I can tell if you are lying." Kylo shoved the lightsaber harder into Obran's flesh. Kylo Ren could not have anyone else discover him with the one million credit bounty over his head. Fear in the man's eyes. Not wanting to answer. He could see his fate flash before him.

"No, there is no evidence we found you. It was just a hunch." Fear was pounding through him, the wanted Sith Kylo Ren had nothing else he wanted from him. They both knew what his next course of action was.

"Thank you, Obran." Kylo gave a cold tone, satisfied with Obran's honesty. He let the burning red sword cut through the soft tissues and bone. It skewered through his skull. A quick, but sightly death. The weapons light went out as Kylo Ren tucked it back into his belt underneath his robes. By what to dead man had said, the simple clothes had identified him. He glanced down at the lifeless man before him. He appeared to be about his size. He stripped the man of his clothes. Taking his jacket and a ribbed tunic that had long sleeves and a v-cut neck. Kylo Ren laid the stolen clothes on the frozen man's body as he stripped himself of the Jedi looking robe, letting it fall to the ground. The linen vest that he slipped over his head, pulling his arms out of the clothing, exposed a simple tunic. He took that off too. Kylo Ren bent down towards the pile of clothes picking up the tunic. He weaved his arms through, pulling it down over his head and down his torso. Kylo Ren put his old clothes on Obran. He reluctantly placed his infamous lightsaber in the man's hand. Hoping to throw off the scent of anyone who discovered their bodies. And maybe think that Obran was Kylo Ren. If everyone thought he was dead, then life could go on. The First Order would know it was not him. The man's face was still intact. Kylo raised his boot. He slammed a powerful leg into Obran's face. Crushing it, the sound of the bones breaking rung through the silent night. He retracted his boot to see if it was good enough. The man's disfigured face could have been his. It was too hard to tell. He was hoping the clothes and lightsaber would be just enough to cause doubt to whoever found the man. He picked up the jacket and began to walk away from the massacre of lifeless bodies.

Walking down the airstrip, he found a simple ship that had the bounty hunters symbol painted on the side. He had to leave this wretched planet before anyone else tried to attack him. The ship was small but would be enough for one person. It had the ability to jump through hyperspace, sleeping quarters, a small galley, and even a small living area. The cockpit was just big enough for two pilots. He sat down in the worn chair, finding the ignition switch. The dual engines roared to life, vibrating the ship underneath his feet. He did not know where he was going to go but knew where ever it was, it had to be discreet.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the late chapter! I just started a new job and then I went on holiday! But this one is long and good and I had to tease you with Ben and Rey. They have a lot of shit to work out first of all. AND THEEEEEENNNN, Finn and Poe now know that Kylo Ren= Ben Solo. DRAMA?! LOL. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I want to thank everyone who is along for this journey! This story is now up to 24 follows and 1,600 views! I love you guys and I am sorry for that gore, but Kylo Ren was bound to come back with a vengence.

If you have made it this far and haven't followed yet, please do. Also, I really love your guy's input in the reviews, it keeps me going knowing you're enjoying the story.

With love,

E


	9. Chapter 9: Backfire

Chapter 9: Backfire

Rey had her arms wrapped around her body in an effort to comfort herself as she sat on the decrepit couch in the living area of the AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter. Her only friends in the entire galaxy were fuming in anger as they stood around her. Rey's eyes were cast down at the steel floors of the ship. They wanted an explanation from her, but she was too ashamed of her actions. She had lied to them to save a man they want nothing other than to see come to justice for his crimes. Poe, Rose, and Finn were all confused and hurt by the person who they thought would be the last to lie. Let alone lie to them to save an enemy. They each have scars, physical or emotional, from Kylo Ren. Rey could not bear to look up to anyone of them, she knew what she would see. Disappointment, betrayal, and anger riddled each of them and Rey could feel it rolling off them in thick waves. As Finn looked at the girl he thought he knew almost comprehensively, he felt that his understanding of his first true friend was thrown out the window. How could she choose him over the galaxy, the Resistance, her friends? They were best friends and she had chosen a murderer over everything. She had confronted Luke Skywalker over Kylo Ren's treacherous words. She had slipped into his clutches and never came to him or any of the others for help or guidance. His nostrils flared at the thought of them together. She was the closest thing he had ever had to family and he felt like he had failed by not being able to protect her from Kylo Ren.

"Rey, just what the fuck do you think you were doing with Kylo Ren? How could you lie to us like this?" Finn was the first to speak for the group, anger and frustration laced his voice. She could not move her eyes to meet any of theirs. She was so ashamed of herself, ashamed that she had let herself go so completely. Rey had been so enveloped by how she and Ben's lives had been thrown together that she forgot who she is and what she stands for. She had forgotten herself when she was with Ben Solo, he had a way of drawing her to him, almost effortlessly. Tears started to well in the corners of her eyes. How could she had let the situation spiral this far out of control? She has ruined everything. She is not even sure that she had friends after they had discovered Kylo Ren. "Rey, you need to explain yourself, right now. Look me in my eyes and tell me why you risked all of us for fucking Kylo Ren." Finn raised his voice. Rey wanted to say how much she was sorry for betraying them, for lying to them. She wanted to say that she did not know why she did what she had done. Kylo Ren had a magnetism that pulled her toward him. She could not help herself when she was with him. But she could not say anything, she was frozen looking at the floor. The silence only angered the former Stormtrooper further. Poe and Rose were angry too, but they had never seen Finn like this.

"I- I-" Rey stuttered with tears threatening to fall down her face. Several moments passed before Rey's mouth parted, trying to speak but no words would vocalize. She raised her eyes to the fuming Stormtrooper.

"Unbelievable, Rey." Finn sounded truly disappointed in his friend, he left the room. Rey and the others watched Finn leave the room in a hurry. He had no idea what to do, none of them did, but he knew that if he stood there another second, he would not be able to control his anger any longer. Rose and Poe stood there looking at Rey. She was now hunched over, her elbows rested on her thighs. Her hands fell in between the gap of her legs. Rey's brown hair fell over her face as she looked down at the floor of the ship. They did not know how to feel about the situation before them. Betrayal and confusion swirled in the ship between the four of them.

"I am going to bed. I will see everyone in a few hours. Goodnight." Poe announced, breaking the silence. He could not think anymore. Everything that had transpired had left his mind and body fatigued. The image of the burning red sword sat behind his eyes every time he closed them. He had never seen Kylo Ren without the mask, but the lightsaber, he knew that. He walked out from the living area, heading to his chambers. Rose and Rey watched Poe leave the room. The uncomfortable silence stood still in the room with a thick presence that felt like it was stuck to their skin. Rose cast her eyes back down toward Rey, her arms crossed over her chest. The mechanic sat there in silence listening to Rey sniffle and cry softly in the living area. Not knowing what to do with herself, Rose sat down next to her friend in spite of the situation at hand. Rose had so many questions she wanted answers to but did not know where to start. The question that was at the forefront of her mind was why did she do all of this for a man like Kylo Ren? Would his past, crimes, and affiliation not be enough to drive reason into her?

"Why, Rey? Why did you go through all this effort to come here for him?" Rose let out softly in disappointment, not looking at Rey. Rose was slightly hunched with her legs outstretched in front of her with her knees locked.

"Kylo Ren and I were Force-bonded together that night on Starkiller Base by Snoke. It was not until I arrived to find Luke that we discovered the bond. And as the Resistance bombed the Fulminatrix, I went to him, in hopes to take him to the Resistance, but it was a trap. Kylo Ren delivered me to Snoke. Snoke wanted the map to Luke Skywalker, he pillaged my mind. Every corner, Rose, he defiled my memories. I tried to fight him, tried to use the Force against him, but Snoke was too strong and he took it as a challenge,"

"Kylo Ren could have listened to Snoke's orders to kill me, but instead he killed the Supreme Leader to save me. I tried to fight him, tried to not see him as a human, but the bond connects our minds, thoughts, and feelings. I could see the fight between Dark versus Light. I could see Ben Solo in there, fighting Kylo Ren, he wants to come back to the Light. I have seen another side to him and I know that does not excuse anything, but I know it is the first step for his redemption. I want to help him. I wanted to bring him back home to Ahch-To to be with his mother and to teach him how to balance himself. I know I do not deserve anything after lying to you, but we cannot tell anyone his true identity. It has to be kept between us four and General Leia." Rey let the story slip out between soft sobs. Rose was taken aback by the information her friend laid out to her. She brought a hand to her throbbing temple in hopes to calm the dull ache. Rose let out a long sigh, processing what Rey said. How could someone so strong like Rey be so susceptible to someone so insidiously evil? Was what she said true or had Kylo Ren convinced her of false truths?

"Rey, what you did was inconsiderate and dishonest. You could have come to anyone of us with this information instead of running away after the First Order destroyed what was left of the Resistance. Then you came back and locked yourself away out of what? Shame? I don't think I can forgive you so quickly, but I will keep your secret. Rey, I am serious when I say this, do not lie to me ever again." With that the mechanic gathered herself and left the room, sudden exhaustion falling over her. Rose did not want to think anymore, hoping sleep would take care of it. Rey was left alone in the living area with her thoughts of her betrayal and lies. Her sobs continued for a moment before she began to feel the return of Kylo Ren through the Force. Their bond did not pull at her chest, but she could feel the rage from him. It was such a raw form of power that called to her through the Force. Rey could feel his sword slash through other Force signatures. Her eyes shut, the skin pulling into folds as they squeezed tight while the Force rippled the effects of his hurt, anger, and betrayal to her. She began to cry again at the thought of him being dragged back into the Dark's stronghold. It felt as if all this time Ben Solo had locked away Kylo Ren had only infused the rage he had. It was as if Kylo Ren returned with a vengeance, Rey had never felt this kind of fury from him. She shut herself off from the wrath, unable to handle anything more. She rose the back of her hands to her face, wiping away the wet tears from underneath her eyes.

Rey took in a deep breath trying to clear her mind, to center herself from the swirling emotions. This was all her fault. He may have not been discovered if she just let him be. Her friends would not have been so hurt and disappointed in Rey if she had just let him continue to hide on Dantooine. Maybe she lied to her friends and risked everything because of where she came from and how her life had unfolded. Coming from Jakku, everyone looked out for themselves. In a place like that, it was hard to find kindness and mercy, but as a child, two folks had shown it to her. She would never forget Troade and Mashra for that. She always told herself that she would be that person, to help others, always. Rey told herself that she would always fight for them and be strong when they could not be. This is a defining quality in the young Jedi apprentice, she may have not executed it in the right way tonight, but she did what she thought was right. Rey tried to reassure herself that she did the right thing by helping Ben as she sat alone in the living area. She tried to think of why he was worth risking herself and her friends. Images of him lashing out in anger, the slaughter of innocent Padawans, and Han Solo's murder blazed in her mind. The only reason she could come up with was that Rey wanted to save him for selfish reasons. Kylo Ren had not done one thing in his life that was worth saving from execution. She wanted to save him from himself, save him from the First Order. Rey has seen what he would become, a powerful Jedi, fighting alongside her. Not truly in the Dark or Light, somewhere grey. Somewhere both Kylo Ren and Ben Solo both could exist.

Rey was exhausted and just wanted to curl up in a ball and let sleep carry her far away from the day. She lifted her head up, not really looking at anything and took a deep breath. Exhaling, she brought her hands to her thighs as she rose from the battered couch. She turned her body toward the entryway, placing her foot in front of her to walk out of the cold room. Rey was dazed and unfeeling as she made her way to her chambers as if on autopilot. The door wheezed opened as it revealed her small room and she stepped in making her way to her cramped bunk. Not even bothering to strip herself of her clothes, she let her body fall to the bed. Rey pulled the scratchy blanket to her, nestling into it trying to find some type of comfort. Moments passed in silence before the automatic lights turned off, leaving Rey in the dark. She shut her eyes, imagining that tomorrow would be better and that her friends would understand her actions better. She did not need them to forgive her as much as she needed them to see why she did what she did. Rey knew that they will never see what she sees in Kylo Ren, that Ben is fighting just beneath the cold exterior of his evil counterpart. She pushed the thoughts away of Ben and everything that transpired in the last few hours, trying to find peace. Rey began to meditate to allow for a clear mind to sleep.

* * *

Rey awoke from a dreamless sleep to an empty and cold room. Last night replaying over in her mind. She could still feel Ben's heat on her skin, the way his hand had grasped her hair. How his lips were so close to hers. And then, Poe, Rose, and Finn's faces after they realized Ben Solo's true identity flashed in front of her mind's eye. Her guilt returned with a crushing weight to her chest causing her to believe that it was about to cave. Rey's hand clutched her shirt, making it bunch up in her fist. Her heartfelt so conflicted. She did not know where she lay. Does she give up on Kylo Ren and Ben? Does she choose her friends and the Resistance? Rey did not know how to fix this and to make sure everyone was happy without sacrificing her own happiness. She did not want to give up on Ben Solo, cut him out like so many had before. And on the other hand, there were her friends, people she loved. They were the closest thing to family she has. The only people in the whole galaxy she could ask for advice were furious and biased. She wishes she had someone to talk to about what she should do. At this moment, Rey felt utterly alone. The deep ceded feeling of complete alienation flourished within Rey as she lay curled into herself. She imagined that this is what a mother would be good at. She liked to imagine that a mother would be a person that she could always turn to in times of uncertainty. Someone, that no matter how bad her actions, would love and comfort her. Rey had tried to pull an image of her mother to her mind an innumerable amount of times since she was a little girl. She always played on the idea that she was beautiful and strong.

Rey could feel the weight on her chest as she lay there thinking of her trespasses and isolation. Her tears threatening to escape the rims of her eyes. Self-hatred had never been an emotion she had ever felt, but at this moment she did. Rey had always been resolute and unafraid, but when she left Jakku for the first time in her life, she began to change. And in this moment, she had no idea who she is or what she stood for. There was a soft knocking on her chambers. It rang hollow through the metal door. The sound snapped her from the spiraling thoughts. The door wheezed open to reveal Finn standing in the hallway. Finn stood tall with his shoulders pulled back, almost defensively. His face held a cold expression as he stared into the dark room. Rey sat up in the bunk, the blanket fell as it bunched up at her waist. The lights remained off, but the light from the hallway illuminated the shadows. Rey stared at her friend not knowing what to say. She was shocked that he was even here.

"Can I come in?" Finn asked, no anger was there, but his voice was still cold. Rey nodded her head, allowing Finn to walk into the room. The automatic lights switched on as he crossed the entryway. Rey tossed the blanket back, swinging her legs over the side of the bunk. She kept her eyes cast down at the floor as her friend took a seat on the adjacent bunk. They sat there for a moment, the silence stood firm between them. Rey looked up at her best friend, he was now somewhat deflated. His posture was hunched over himself, his eyes cast away from hers, his hands grasped tight in his lap. But he spoke up.

"Rose told Poe and I what happened… and wow. That is just mad. I am not forgiving you, but I understand. I came to tell you that Poe and I will keep his secret. But do not expect him or I to like the situation…" Finn's voice trailed off at the thought of something worse crossing his mind. He took a deep breath, looking up to meet Rey's eyes that seemed so sad, but relieved that he was there. He gave her a half-hearted smile before his mouth parted, wanting to ask her about his worst fear, but he hesitated as his mouth closed.

"What? What is it?" Rey asked with a hint of fear creeping into her voice. Anxiety started to make her heart race, her palms became clammy at what Finn was holding back. He looked away, he did not know if he truly wanted an answer to his question, but his curiosity was growing.

"Do- do you love him, Rey? Is that why you went through all of this? Why you put everything we have left at risk?" His voice was riddled with a sense of pain. Rey was like his sister, he had felt like he needed to protect her. He knew that she needed no one to defend her, she grew up on Jakku, but he wanted to anyways. The thought of Kylo Ren and Rey together made him feel like he had failed her. The question stunned Rey, her eyes went wide. She did not know how to feel about the words love and Kylo Ren being in the same sentence. The thought that she might love him scared her even more. He was not a man that deserved love and yet she showed compassion toward him, kept coming back to him even though he hurt her. Her heart began to pound at the thought. How could she love him? An even scarier thought raced across her mind, does she love him?

_No… that would be preposterous, right? I- I don't know. I care about him_, but love him? Rey thought to herself as a sudden warmth sprawled over her body. The images of how close they were last night displayed in her head. His soft sighs of pleasure echoed in her ears, making a shiver run down her spine to a warmth that was beginning to pool. The way he bit his bottom lip and pulled her hair tightly, made Rey tremble. She tried to push the stolen moments from her mind, they were so private that it felt wrong to think about such things in front of a man she viewed as a brother. "I- I don't know if I love him. I care about him. I want to help him.. but love…?" The words felt so foreign as they slipped from Rey's lips. She had never said those words in reference to a person. Maybe she did love him. Maybe this bond they shared made her realize that he was so much more than Kylo Ren. She was ever so aware of his thoughts, feelings, and wants when they were together. They were so private and utterly human.

"I don't know.. he just has this way of drawing me in when I am around him. I am so curious to see what lies beneath the fake composure. I am just as confused about my relationship with him as you are. When we first bridged, I was furious at the sight of him, I hated him even. But the more it happened, the more of Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, had begun to surface. I had a vision of the future one night, on Ahch-To, of what he could be. Ever since then, he has been reaching out towards the Light. I can feel it every time we connect. It is impossible not to see. I can see him. The true Ben Solo. I care about him. I want to see him come back to the Light, Finn. If that is love, then maybe I do." Finn straightened at her words. Hearing her actually saying that she cared for a monster like Kylo Ren made his anger flare up again, but he did not let it show because Finn came here to make peace with his friend.

"I don't like him, Rey. He is an abominable, treacherous murderer. But on the other hand, I love you. You are my best friend, my sister even. So if this is what you want to do, I will not stand in the way of you and Kylo Ren." Finn let the words out almost begrudgingly. He knew that he had felt the opposite of his promise, but he did love Rey. Rey was the only semblance of a family he had ever known. Finn winced at the thought of them touching, becoming more than friends. The thought of someone so pure being tainted by a sick, twisted monster, made his stomach clench. He could only imagine Kylo Ren pulling her into his intoxicating darkness, losing Rey forever. Finn trusted Rey, but could not shake the idea of her turning for Kylo Ren. Rey shifted her weight down onto the balls of her feet as she began to get off the bunk. She crossed the short distance between them and sat next to Finn.

"Thank you, Finn. I love you too." The friends look at each other with smiles spread across their faces, laughing. He had been angry with the Jedi, but it was all beginning to fade away.

* * *

Rey had finally worked up the nerve to come out of her chambers after Finn had come to talk to her. Her friends may not understand exactly what was going on, but they believed in her. They knew that her actions had good intentions. Rey was dressed in her usual linen attire as she walked into the corridor outside of her room and followed it to the living area. Hunger started to pang in her stomach as she stepped into the room. Rose, Finn, and Poe all sat in the semi-circle booth around the table eating. They were laughing at something, most likely a horrible joke Poe had said. Their laughter began to die out as Rey entered the room. She walked over to the group and took a seat on the outer section on the booth next to Rose. There was a small spread of food in the center of the table. Rey spotted scrambled eggs, most likely synthetic, and slices of puffer pig bacon. She had not had a hot meal since she had left the Resistance base. Rey picked up a thin metal plate in her left hand and picked up a concave serving utensil in her right. She began to scoop a portion on to her plate, her friends watching her in silence, but she did not let it stop her. After serving herself a portion of each item, she began to lift generous bites of food to her mouth, her eyes glancing over her friends. They were watching her, not expecting her to come out of hiding so quickly. Rey swallowed her food as her eyes darted to each of them, setting her fork down on her plate.

"What? Is there something on my face?" Her nerves came out as she spoke. She knew that her friends made it clear that they would not forgive her any time soon, but she would imagine that she would be able to enjoy a meal with them. Poe looked down at his plate, moving the remnants of his food with his fork. Finn stared back as Rey's eyes moved to Rose. She cast her glance away from Rey. The moment began to turn awkward for the four of them.

"It is nothing, Rey. We just weren't expecting you." Rose piped up, causing the silence to falter between the four of them. Rey started to deflate in her seat. Her actions still causing her friends to be distrusting of her.

"Well, I am here. You all know why I did what I did, but I have not said what needs to be said. You three, Poe, Finn, and Rose are the closest thing I have to family in the galaxy. I should not have lied to any of you to get you to save Kylo Ren. I can go on and on about why I did it, but it won't matter. What does matter is that you know that I love you all so very much. I am sorry for lying to you. Poe, Rose, Finn, I am so sorry. I don't expect things to return to normal so quickly, but I want you all to know that I will never betray your trust again. " Rey said with sincerity in her voice. They all knew that she meant what she said.

"Thank you, Rey. We appreciate it. Now can we just finish our meal?" Poe said with a smile spread wide across his face, the rest of the group began to laugh at his sarcastic remark. The laughter seemed to lift a weight that rested on all of their chests.

As the conversation began to fade and food began to wane, the group of Resistance fighters began to clear their plates from the table. Each of them loading them into a small sink. Poe placed his used dish underneath the running water that came from the faucet, washing it of food. He placed the clean plate in a drying rack to the right of the sink. He turned, almost in the same moment, to make his way to the cockpit. Rey was right behind him. They followed the short hallway to the small cockpit in silence. Rey took the co-pilot chair, settling into its worn cushion. She began to look over the various systems, making sure they were all in running order. The engines were reading that everything seemed in order. "All systems go," Rey reported to the seasoned pilot who was studying the navigation screen. They were coming up to two parsecs from Ahch-To. "Copy that," Poe confirmed as he began to flip various switches around him. The two pilots flew in silence, watching the streams of light flit by them. The silence was almost meditative to Rey. The mission had failed miserably, so, Rey and her friends were heading back to Ahch-To. She needed to speak with Leia, they all did. Finn wanted answers to how she could approve a mission for Rey to extract a sworn enemy to the Resistance. Poe wanted to know why Leia kept the identity of Kylo Ren a secret from her second in command. Rose, who was the most indirectly affected by Kylo Ren, wanted answers to how Leia could have let her son drift so far from the Light.

Poe began to relax in his chair, allowing his attention to pull from the stars. He turned his head to look at his copilot, she was sitting there with her eyes fixed on the navigation screen between them. The light illuminated her strong features. Rey had never shown this side of her, deceitful and conniving. The taste in Poe's mouth turned sour as he looked at who he thought was a woman of unequivocal moral standing. But she was just as weak as anyone else. Poe had always been drawn to the fight just as Rey. He always believed that he had to be the one to stand up for those who could not do it for themselves. When he found out about General Leia's movement, he had almost ran to the nearest recruiting station. The Resistance had become his life, his passion. He wanted to stop the First Order and liberate the galaxy from its clutches. Then Rey, one of his friends, comrades, has been sinking further into the grasp of Kylo Ren. She betrayed everything the Resistance stood for, everything Poe stood for. Rey must have felt his unwavering glare cast upon her. Not turning her head toward her Co-pilot, her eyes peered to her left to catch Poe's dark eyes. She could see his thoughts surface on his face, not even trying to hide his disgust. The erratic beeping from the ancient radar system pulled their locked eyes away. Poe's head whipped towards the system's screen. The winding cursor passed a blip that showed to be coming from directly behind them. A ship was following the group of Resistance fighters through Hyperspace. The two pilots readied themselves for the oncoming attacker. Until now the First Order were the only one with the technology of Hyperspace tracking.

"They've tracked us through Hyperspace and they are right on our tails. Rey, we are two minutes from dropping out of Hyperspace when we do I need you to turn to the weapon systems. We do not know who is following us, be ready for anything." Poe barked out the order, shouting over his shoulders as his eyes stayed glued to the stars whizzing past them. Rey gave a sound of acknowledgment to Poe. The

AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter's engines started to whine as they started slow the ship's speed. The effects of adrenaline that coursed through Rey's veins made every movement calculated yet reactionary. The ship almost lurched as it dropped out of Hyperspace. Rey unbuckled the harness that fastened her to the pilot's seat. Her strong legs pushed her upright. Without any words exchanged between the two pilots, Rey lifted the grated hatch just past the cabin. The grated door revealed steep stairs that lead to the weapon systems. Rey took the plunge down the steps that led just below the cabin. The space was big enough for one. The walls crowded around one chair and the laser cannon's joystick. The anterior side of her body pressed against the cold metal wall as she maneuvered the cramped space. She slipped her slim frame into the dusty chair. A plume of dust wafted out around Rey as her body fell into the seat in haste. There was an old headset with a mouthpiece. She slipped it on over her ears. They were cool to the touch, but there was no time for the young Jedi to dwell on trivial facts.

"Poe turn this ship around. I need to get sights on the ship behind us." Almost instantly with no reply from the pilot, the ship banked upward. The Transparisteel window revealed Ahch-To. It looked serene, peaceful. The bright dual stars were burning it's life force down onto the planet. It felt like weeks since she had been back to the base, but it began to slip from her line of sight as the freighter began to turn over. The stars scattered the expansive plane. Her eyes searched for the ship that had tracked them through space. She knew that one with such technology did not have benign intentions. The N3 light freighter idled in place. She searched her field of view with a keen eye, waiting for the ship to blip into sight. Seconds later another light spacecraft dropped in front of them. It too stood its place. It's pilot unwavering. The silence in the ship allowed for Rey to hear hasteful footsteps above her. The grated floors echoing Finn and Rose's heavy feet approaching the cockpit. No one spoke. Rey took the opportunity in the two ship's standoff to fire first. The almost ancient, yet powerful laser cannon rounds barreled toward the mystery ship. With unfathomable reflex, the mystery pilot maneuvered the cannon's fire. The other pilot banked his ship hard to the left and stayed there, unmoving as if saying it was not a fight he wanted. Poe sat in awe in his pilot chair at the other pilot's skill. As if the pilot of the rogue ship had seen Rey's fire coming. Poe had never seen a direct hit like that be avoided so fluidly and without fault. Poe could not see the other pilot's face from that distance, but he imagined that his expression bared a look of cocky achievement while Poe's showed disbelief.

The mystery ship turned slowly toward the planet of Ahch-To and started to gain speed. The other ship started to gain distance before Poe began to follow after the light spacecraft. Rey shot off a burst of laser rounds from the N3's cannons. The retreating ship swerved and missed Rey's efforts, making sharp movements left and right. Rey watched the unknown pilot in awe. The pilot's skills were uncanny as he evaded Rey's calculated shots. Her right hand clutched the joystick of the laser cannon so fiercely that her knuckles turned white. Rey's face contorted into a focused expression as her sights narrowed on the unidentified spacecraft. Her index finger contracted around the trigger of the joystick, firing at the ship that was barreling toward the planet that sat suspended in space. Ahch-To was the current base of the Resistance and for this unknown pilot to head straight for the base was a threat to Rey and Poe. Both were determined to stop the pilot from reaching the planet's surface. With the pilot's impeccable timing and maneuvering of the Resistance group's efforts, they may not be able to stop the mystery light freighter in time before he reaches the planet. The light freighter dove into Ahch-To's atmosphere that began to turn around the ship's exterior. Poe could not let the ship escape his sights as he dove into the planet's atmosphere. His determination to keep their base a secret from the unknown pilot drove his actions as he followed. The AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter began to shake as it entered the atmosphere with resistance. Their target had already made their way down and into the stratosphere. The Resistance group's ship may have been ancient, but its capacity for speed kept them just feet from the other pilot's ship. Rey took the opportunity to fire off another few bursts at the ship.

The laser cannon rounds barreled toward the rogue ship, but the other pilot shifted his trajectory at a steep decline causing him to miss the cluster of shots fired at him. There is no pilot, seasoned or not, that could evade fire like this one. Rey pawed at the idea that this pilot was a Force-sensitive individual. That could be the only explanation of how he could achieve advanced maneuvers. As the possible Force-sensitive pilot corrected from the steep decline, Rey fired a single shot at his spacecraft. She used the Force to direct the laser round to get a direct hit on the retreating pilot's ship. Her countenance was focused as she willed the shot toward the ship's wing, clipping it. The mystery pilot's ship began to hurtle dangerously towards the surface of Ahch-To. Poe's voice came through her headset, "Good shot, Rey. You got that son of a bitch!" A tight smile of satisfaction pulled the corners of her lips as her friends cheered on the deck above her. They followed the crashing ship towards the watery surface of their base planet. From their perspective, the group could see that the pilot was trying to maintain a steady trajectory. But the surface of the ocean was coming to fast. The mystery aviator was going to crash at dangerous speeds into the water. The pilot pulled up just as he was approaching the open waters. The ship skidded a few feet above the water before it started to topple over. The crew of the AL-KM44 Allanar N3 watched the ship's wings rip off the ship and the body of the craft being torn away from its frame by the ocean's surface tension. Their faces dropped in the horror of the tragic accident that was unfolding before their eyes. The pilot crashed with his ship, an honorable death. The group of Resistance fighters sat in their light freighter in silence as they watched the mystery ship sink below the surface. Rey bowed her head in respect to the lost life of the pilot she had shot down. None of the crew on the AL-KM44 Allanar N3 intended for the pilot to die. The accident that transpired before the four of them was truly tragic. Loss of life is never an easy concept to accept, especially for Rey who was responsible for the crash landing of the pilot.

"Alright, guys, let's go." Poe's voice called through the headphones in a mournful tone. The shock of the events hung in the air of the ship like a wet blanket. The AL-KM44 Allanar N3 turned around, leaving the wreckage behind them. The small band of Resistance fighters stayed silent as Poe flew them to base. Rey sat back in her dusty chair, slightly slumped over, as she watched the ocean crash against the small rocky landmasses that protruded out from the water. She had never been the direct cause of another being's death, such was against the Jedi Code. Feelings of guilt and remorse weighed heavily on Rey. She swallowed, letting her head lean back against the headrest, her hands came up to her face. Her hands moved her youthful skin around before she lifted them towards her hair. Her fingers made a raking motion through the loosened hair, as if in an attempt to calm her mind. The images of the gruesome crash played over and over in her head. At that moment Rey wished she could talk to Ben. Even though she had never considered him a friend, through the bond they had a deep understanding of one another. He felt what she felt and with that, she could try and find comfort. Since she had shut off the bond, she felt as if a piece of her was missing; she felt alone. Rey could not bring herself to reopen their bridge in fear of what waited for her on the other side. She could not subject herself to such fury that was fueled by the Darkside. The young Jedi apprentice lowered her head from the headrest of her chair to see that their ship was coming up on the main island.

The sight of the Resistance base washed relief over Rey as the AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter settled unto its landing gear. She pushed herself up from the chair and pivoted out from the cramped space. Rey walked up the short, yet steep flight of stairs to the main deck of the ship. As she came out from downstairs, she turned to close the grated hatch to the laser cannons. Her eyes looked up to meet the eyes of Finn, Poe, and Rose. Their faces all bore an expression of sadness. She gave a halfhearted smile as she turned towards the hallway that led to the crew's chambers.

* * *

Rey sat in the deserted dining hall with her friends. None spoke a word to each other while they waited to be called into General Leia's private office. She expected a full report from the group. Leia knew that her son had not made it back with them, she was absolutely terrified at what her fighters might report. The group of friends could not even look at each other in the eyes. The tension from Rey's betrayal to them all still weighed heavily in the air between the four Resistance fighters. In the sheer silence, Rey could hear BB-8 rolling back and forth in place as if it was the droid's equivalent to twiddling its thumbs. Minutes went by before Leia strode into the room. Despite her anxiety, she walked with composure and grace. She kept her head held high when the group stared at her with mixed emotions. The General knew that she would have to answer for playing a part in the deception to extract her son. She stopped just short of the aged wood table that Rey and her friends occupied. "Come, follow me. Rey, you stay put." Leia offered no emotion in her voice as she waved the group to follow her. Rey knew that Leia telling her to stay behind would give her friends a chance to speak their minds freely. She gave a quick nod of acknowledgment to the General. Rey would wait here until Leia came back for her. She would want to know her side of the story. While Poe, Rose, and Finn had an extensive part of the story, they were not there while Ben Solo and Rey stood outside the ship. They did not see the bounty hunters shoot at them or how Ben Solo had fought alongside her. They only saw the most infamous lightsaber in the galaxy burn red in the night. They only knew what Rey had told them.

The silence continued on through the main corridor; only the echoes of footsteps filled the air. The group followed Leia that led them down the candlelit corridor towards her office. She raised her hand to meet the cool metal as she applied a light pressure on it to push the wooden door open. She left it open for the rest to file in after her. Finn was the last one in the room. He turned to shut the aged wooden door behind him. The door hitched with and hearty clunk. Poe, Rose, and Finn stood shoulder to shoulder in a line at the front of the General's desk. The quiet by now had taken its toll on Poe and was the first to break the suffocating silence. "Leia, how could you sanction an extraction mission for the galaxy's number one most wanted man? Would his violent crimes alone not make you think for a second that maybe he is far beyond salvation?" Frustration erupted from out from Poe as he spoke. Leia stood behind her matured desk with one hand clutched around the other. The three Resistance members stood there waiting for answers. She dared not to lose composure as she thought of her little boy who strayed so far from her while her agents stood on edge awaiting answers. Leia took a deep breath in order to settle her anxiety.

"I allowed Rey to undertake the extraction based on the fact that Kylo Ren is losing power over my son. I can feel Ben fighting, sensed it through the Force. Rey only confirmed it when she came to me some weeks ago telling me of his new path." The General let out almost plainly, trying to keep emotion out of her voice in the midst of the situation. The fact that Rey and General Leia had been withholding vital information for weeks now had infused the anger within Poe. The Pilot's nostrils began to flare as his eyebrows shot up, but he held back his thoughts. Poe's fists clenched tightly, his short nails dug into the skin of his palms. He allowed himself a moment before he took a deep breath to calm himself. Finn, Rose, and Leia stood in silence as they looked at Poe. Finn turned his sights to Leia as she began to let out a sigh.

"My marriage with Han was not perfect. He was drawn to the adventure and I was called to politics. When we had Ben we thought that it would fix our marriage, but it only made our existing problems multiply. Our son was a victim of our issues and absentee parents. As Ben got older, he started to lash out at school and became violent. I was almost never home to be any semblance of a mother, so I sent Ben away to Luke's school. Ben wrote to me every day and from the letters, the Jedi teachings seemed to be helping control his anger. As time went on, tensions were on the rise within the galaxy and I was called away, but his letters still came. I was never able to reply and at the time the galaxy seemed more important than my son. There was one night when I felt a grave disturbance in the Force and I could feel the scales shift violently," Leia looked away from the fighters that listened to her every word, but her story saddened her. "It was not until Luke came to me to tell me what had happened that I knew I had lost my son forever. After that, Luke and I thought it best to release a statement saying that Ben Solo was dead and that Kylo Ren had killed him along with the other Padawans." Leia had never shared her story like that. Even she liked to forget that time in her life. Her story was one filled with regret and sadness and it was as if she relived it all.

Leia's story dumbfound the group of Resistance fighters. They had no idea what to say to her. Regardless of the fact that Kylo Ren was her son, they felt some sense of sympathy for the General. Poe's temper was long gone as he looked at Leia. He had never known anything of her personal life. The only information that he knew was from her endless biographies on the HoloNet. Leia's eye looked away from her fighters and through the carved out window of the dark office. The suns of Ahch-To were setting, casting deep orange and yellows across the sky. The endless ocean seemed calm as it bobbed up against the other small landmasses around the base. Her eyes felt heavy as tears threatened to escape from them. She regretted not being there for her son. She regretted not being the mother that Ben needed. And yet, when she approved Rey to go retrieve him, she had hope that she and Ben could start over. Leia pulled her eyes back to the group before her and stood up tall, trying to regain her composure.

"So, tell me what happened." Leia expected a full debriefing from the mission.

* * *

Rey sat in the pilot's chair of the Millennium Falcon. Her hair was loose and sat on her shoulders as she flew towards the crash site. She knew that she should have waited for Leia to call her into her office, but the downed pilot called to her. It was as if the Force was willing her to go back. The engines whined as she flew close to the water's surface. Her eyes scanned the waters to find some sort of evidence of the crash. By now the ship has sunk down to the ocean's floor. Rey had been searching for the pilot for what seemed an hour and she was beginning to feel discouraged in finding him. She spotted an island that was expansive enough to land the Falcon on. She flipped the switch to her left that controlled the landing gear. The mechanism gave out a hearty mechanical clunk as the landing gear locked into place. The pilot slowly lowered the freighter to the grassy surface of the landmass. The Millennium Falcon wavered as it settled on the ground. Rey cut the engines on the control panel that sat to her left. She pushed with her legs as she lifted herself out of the chair and pivoted out from in between the chair and controls of the ship. As she walked to the circular corridor her right hand extended behind her. The makeshift quarterstaff lifted from its resting place and drifted towards Rey's ready hand. It landed softly in her palm without sound. She continued to the ramp of the Millennium Falcon. The young Jedi had no clue what she would find, but she knew that whatever it was, the Force that was drawing each step she took closer to it. The hydraulics of the ramp hissed as it lowered. A blast of cool air wafted into the ship with Rey in the entryway. Rey walked down the ramp, her footsteps echoed by hollow thuds from the grated walkway.

Outside her feet were met with the soft cushion of the green grass. Rey stood still panning her head slowly left to right, scanning the open seascape. The dark waters ebbed and flowed and the soft breeze surrounded her. She walked to the edge of the rocky island and looked around to see the ocean for miles. The crash took place only a klick away from the island Rey stood on. In the unpredictable ocean of Ahch-to, if the pilot survived, it would not have been an easy feat to make it to land. Scenes from the crash played back in her mind. The way the cladding was ripped violently away from the frame of the ship drove a shiver down Rey's spine. She could only imagine what happened to the pilot. There was a faint tug at Rey's chest, it was warm and familiar. The Force was calling her, beckoning her to move on from where she stood. The young Jedi turned expecting to find someone behind her, but no one was there. She knew that she had to move on using the Force has a compass to what she was called there to find. Her feet pulled her forward, closer to the edge of the cliff. The water had taken a turn, the waves were crashing against the jagged slopes of the island. Rey took a deep breath to calm her mind, letting the Force take her where it called. She rose her arms above her head, finger in a point, and jumped off the cliff into the wild waters of Ahch-To.

* * *

Authors Note:

Sorry for the big break I took there! I promise I am still working hard to get chapters out! I hoped you liked the chapter! Let me know what you thought in the review section! Also, if you have made it this far and have not given this story a favorite and follow, go ahead now to get updates when I post the next chapter!

With love,

E


	10. Chapter 10: Deep Waters

Chapter 10: Deep Waters

Anger and betrayal swam in Kylo Ren's mind as he ignited the dual engines of the light freighter. He could feel the blood pumping in his veins, driving his actions to follow that ship, to follow her. How could he have let her slip behind his walls, so much so that he was just inches away from taking her lips with his? She doesn't care about us, she left just like everyone else, creeping fear drifted into his thoughts. Kylo Ren grasped the joystick of the ship with a deathly grip as he slowly willed the spacecraft upward towards the stars. Not far off the ground, Kylo Ren glanced around the small cockpit, his eyes fell on a device that did not quite fit the ship's stock equipment. Studying the clunky piece of equipment, Kylo Ren realized that it was a hyperspace tracker. This is First Order technology, so how did these bounty hunters come into possession of it? Was the First Order aware of his whereabouts? Sudden fear coursed through his mind. He had to go back for his lightsaber. There was no way, if the bounty hunters had reported back to the First Order, would the First Order believe that the smashed up bounty hunter could be him. His lightsaber would be his only true way to protect himself if his location had been compromised. With that thought echoing in his mind, Kylo Ren lowered the ship back to the ground and cut the engines to the ship and jumped out of the pilot chair in haste, making his way towards the exit of the ship. His feet could not take him fast enough. The blank steel corridors seemed to be endless as he wove through them, each step placing him closer to the door.

The automatic door of the ship hissed open at his arrival. The opened door revealed the pitch-black airfield, illuminated by the light emanating from the moon of Dantooine. Kylo Ren's boots hit the soft ground with a thud before he took off in a sprint towards the carnage of his fury. He had to get back to the ship in time to follow that deceitful, manipulating, succubus before she and her friends got too far to track. No, she is not that, never that. A voice sounded deep from within his mind. Kylo Ren shook his words from his mind, pushing him further from the surface. He could not let the weak man within himself emerge, not now. Not when he was on a mission to completely stamp out the last bit of light and weakness that resided within his soul. Kylo Ren could not allow Ben Solo to love her, or her him. Kylo Ren is an agent of the Dark Side and the last hope for the revival of the Sith. A naive girl will not get in the way of his journey of ultimate power. Kylo Ren recognized that his mission and Ben Solo's mission contradicted the other. Kylo Ren wanted to kill what was left of his former persona at any means possible. And Ben Solo wanted to redeem himself from his transgressions, which only infused the rage within Kylo Ren and fueled his fight to kill Ben Solo.

Kylo Ren approached the mangled body of the bounty hunter who wore his robes. The long wooly grass of the field lay crushed underneath the dead, limp, mutilated body of the bounty hunter. Kylo Ren gave off a sick, half-smile at the sight of his extensive handiwork done to the man. He outreached his hand toward the lightsaber, that sat in the dead man's hand and summoned it into his palm. The weapon hit the bare skin of his hand with a smack. It felt so right to have it back in his hand again, but he had no time to relish in the reunion of an extension of himself. He turned on the balls of his feet, the long grass of the airfield ripped from its roots as he turned. Kylo Ren took off at a fast pace back towards the bounty hunter's light freighter. His grip on the tainted lightsaber tightened as he ran as if it provided comfort to Kylo. Each hasteful step took him closer to her. Closer to ending her once and for all, ending the last thing Ben Solo has left to hold on to. One last obstacle left before him and his destiny. The thought of that stung somewhere deep within him as if Ben Solo fought back at the mere thought of Kylo Ren taking away the last thing Ben had left unconsumed by him.

The ship's door wheezed open upon his approach and again, Kylo Ren wove his way back to the cockpit. The cramped cockpit allowed him to squeeze in between the two pilot chairs and sit down. He clipped the lightsaber onto his belt and turned swiftly to the controls, igniting the engines. The light freighter roared to life and the vibration from the engines ripple through the craft to Kylo Ren. I am coming for you, Rey, he thought to himself as his hand around the spacecraft controls willed the light freighter up towards the stars. Reaching over toward the tracker, he activated it with a press of a button in the top left corner. The clunky piece of equipment came to life with a high-pitched mechanical beep. The small screen in the center of the tracker began to deepen its' picture, the radar system without fault picked up Rey's ship. An insidious look fell upon Kylo Ren's face. His eyes turned a deep shade of black and his eyebrows pulled together as he locked in on the ship's location. Kylo Ren dialed in Rey's location into the navigation system as he began to ready the freighter for take off. The craft was ready for whatever the pilot could throw at it. Kylo Ren started his ascent towards the planet's atmosphere, anxious, almost excited to reach his destination.

Kylo Ren watched the stars whiz by at light-speed almost absent-mindedly for hours as he thought about what he was going to do to her. He imagined what sounds she would make when he carved her flesh open with the red lightsaber, or what face she would make as she begged for mercy. Her deep red blood spilling out from the fresh wounds made Kylo Ren lick his lips. The images of her crying out in pain, begging him to stop felt like ecstasy ripping through him to his core. He ached to feed a monster deep within him. Ached to make her hurt, make her his toy, bending to his harmful touch. Kylo Ren closed his eyes and let out a deep and audible sigh as the images sat at the forefront of his mind. He needed this, craved it even. Loud mechanical beeps from the tracker sounded, ripping him from his twisted fantasy. His black eyes whipped to the screen that was notifying him that the ship he was tracking was dropping out of hyperspace. Kylo Ren's stolen ship was only minutes behind them. Anticipation began to flow through his body as his fingers gripped the ship's controls in his right hand. As the ship dropped out of hyperspace, he came face-to-face with the Resistance fighter's ancient AL-KM44 Allanar N3 light freighter. He tried to reach out through the bond to Rey, but there was nothing there as if she had shut him out. Kylo Ren was almost taken aback by this.

After a long moment of standing still, the Resistance fighter's ship fired first. Kylo Ren banked the spacecraft hard to the left. That shot was calculated and if Kylo Ren was not the pilot he was, the laser cannon round would have made contact. Adrenaline pumped hard through Kylo Ren's veins, his heart beating heavily. His index finger drifted above the trigger of the ship's joystick, ready to fire back, but he couldn't, as if something rooted deep within him stopped his finger from contracting around the trigger. In a panic, Kylo Ren turned the ship around toward the watery planet behind him. He slowly turned the light freighter around and pushed the joystick away from him allowing his ship to gain speed and close the gap between him and the planet below. As if an unintentional reflex, Kylo Ren's hand jerked left and then right, evading the Resistance fighter's fire.

Kylo Ren continued to guide his ship further towards the planet's watery surface. The atmosphere began to burn around the spacecraft's outer shell, causing the ship to rattle. The Resistance fighter that manned the cannon offered up a challenge to Kylo. He was coming up on the expansive ocean at dangerous speeds when the Resistance ship's laser cannon's fire landed a shot on the wing of his ship. At the high speed, he was traveling at, the clipped wing threw the ship barrelling towards the water. Kylo Ren tried to correct, but it was too late. The ship hit the water's surface, flipping violently, tearing the wings and body from the frame. His body momentarily became suspended in the air in the light freighter before it began to topple over, crashing into the middle of the ocean. Kylo Ren's body lurched as the ship landed in the water, the safety harness could only restrain him so much when his head hit the control panel ahead of him. The forceful contact gashed his forehead open before his body whipped back into the pilot's chair. The ocean began to envelop the light freighter as the water began to pool at his feet. Quickly, Kylo Ren unbuckled the harness and rushed out of the cockpit. By now the ship was beginning to fill with water at an alarming rate.

Weaving his way through the blank corridors with the water at his knees made it difficult to get out of the ship before it had filled up completely. Making his way through the corridors fatigued his injured body, but adrenaline kept him going, fighting to survive. All he knew was that he had to get out of there. His right arm clutched his left side, his body hunched over, he waded through the rising water level with his left hand outstretched before him in order to balance himself. Through the damp pieces of hair, Kylo Ren looked up with his mouth slightly open from ragged breaths to see the exit. With troublesome effort, Kylo dragged his feet through the icy water faster towards the door. The door did not open upon him approaching it. His right arm still clutched at his left side, he fell onto the doorframe of the exit. Grunting from the impact Kylo Ren withdrew his hand from his injured side to grasp the emergency lever to manually open the door. With leverage from supporting his body on the door frame, he used his free hand to pull the lever upward. The door began to inch open each time he pumped the leaver up and down, water began to pour in faster and faster. The door gave enough clearance for his large frame to just slip through. Kylo Ren took a deep breath before he squeezed through the door. The arctic waters of Ahch-To enveloped his body as he swam out and into the ocean.

* * *

The frigid water collapsed around Rey as she dove beneath the surface of the ocean. The setting suns gave off some light in the dark grey water. She looked around her to see nothing but the walls of water around her. The water's surface raged above her, but down here the water was calm and silent. Rey's hair flowed around her as she looked for the direction to go. The Force called behind her, willing her to swim toward the jagged rocky wall of the island. The dim light revealed a large arching entry leading inside the landmass. The cave was dark and yet, the Force willed her to swim toward the cave. Rey used her arms and legs to propel herself forward. While it was a short distance, the arctic waters made it feel as if Rey was swimming through thick molasses. The tunnel was absent of light as Rey felt tentatively through the dark with her hands ahead of her. As Rey felt around she noticed that the floor of the tunnel started to incline. She continued up the tunnel until her head was met with the still air of the underground cavern. Her feet found a foothold as she began to stand up. The underground cave smelled dank as she stood in the pitch black. Rey looked around as her eyes started to adjust, picking out rough shapes of jagged walls. The sound of water dripping from Rey's soaking clothes to the shallow body of water she stood in was echoing off the walls, filling the deadly silent cave. She took a cautious step forward, the water sloshed as she moved. She walked along the edge of the cave using her hands to guide her in the dark. The Force tugged hard at her chest, pulling her further into the cave.

Rey took a step but her foot landed on something soft that gave way under her weight. She stopped in her tracks. Rey used the wall to balance herself as she bent down. Her hand came off the rocky surface as she searched in the dark for the object. The stone floors were cold and wet as she patted around. Her hands found the soft object before her. She moved the object around in her hands trying to figure out what it might be. It was a sort of material that was wet and cold. Rey unraveled the ball of fabric and set it down on the stone floor of the cave. She felt around its outline, it felt as if it was a tunic. The mystery pilot survived, or at least made it into the cave. Rey's head snapped up as she reached for the quarterstaff on her back, but it was not there. She left it above ground on the Millennium Falcon. She knew she was not alone and left herself defenseless. How could she be so stupid to forget her only means of protection? Even if the young Jedi had no weapon, she had to find that pilot. She pushed herself up and took hasteful steps further into the cave. The Force's pull tugged harder at her as she went, she was close. In her haste, Rey tripped over something in the dark. She landed on the hard floor, her arms and hands broken her fall, she let out a hiss of pain as the jagged rock bit into her palms and knees. There was a groan behind her. It was a man, the mysterious pilot. She had found him. Her pain was almost forgotten as she turned with her hands and knees. Rey felt around for the man in the pitch black. Her hands met soft flesh that was cold, but she could tell that he was still alive. The man groaned in pain as her hands found his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Rey waited in the dark for the man to give some sign that he was okay, but he could only groan. She could not tell if he was covered in blood or water. Rey shifted behind him. She had to get him out of here. Rey looped her arms underneath the man's armpits in an effort to drag him out of the cave. "I am gonna get you out of here, okay? Stay with me." She tried to reassure the mystery pilot as she began to drag him. The man was heavy. Rey used her strong legs to hold both of them up. She moved backward one leg at a time with tremendous effort. Rey let out a grunt with each arduous step as she made her way back to the cave's entrance. Her legs burned with every step she made. The pitch-black made it harder to know she was going the right way, but she kept moving. She had to get him to the surface to see what kind of injuries he sustained. Rey stepped into a pool of water that was ankle-deep. The ocean water was cold as it made contact with her skin. She knew that she had made it back to the entrance to the underground cavern. The man in her arms hissed when the water made its way to his exposed skin as she pulled them both deeper into it. The water made it easier to pull the large man as she went further down the decline of the rocky ramp. The man's body was weightless in her arms in the water, but it was still hard work to keep his head above the surface. The water was up to her shoulders at that point and the entrance of the cave was getting closer. "I am going to need you to hold your breath. We are going to have to go underwater to make it out of here. Can you do that for me?" Rey's voice was soft yet instructive.

"Mhm" Was all the man could muster. He took a deep breath as the water began to enclose around his face. Rey's lungs filled with air as she dipped beneath the surface of the water. She let go of the man to search for his hand. Her hand grasped his large but limp hand. She had to hurry. Rey turned quickly in the frigid water and began to swim forward. She knew she did not have long before the man would not be able to hold his breath any longer. The tunnel the led from the cave seemed endless. Rey felt as if she could not swim hard enough to get them out. The pitch-black made it harder to navigate. She kept her right hand outstretched before her to keep her from hitting the narrow walls. Every kick of her legs seemed to wear on her stamina. Her muscles screamed at her with fatigue, but she knew she had to keep going. She had to save the pilot. The oceans' tide was raging when Rey emerged from the tunnel. By now the dual suns of Ahch-To had set and already grey waters seemed black. As Rey swam upward with the man, getting closer to the surface, the light from the moon aided her. The pilot that she held onto tried to assist her, but he was growing weaker and Rey was growing tired. She tried to use the Force, but her mind was racing, and she was unable to call it to her. The tide threw them as Rey's head broke the surface of the water. Her teeth clenched and she let out a grunt in an effort to pull the man up. His face came to the surface. As he came closer to her, she recognized him. It was Ben Solo. She could not believe her eyes. Her arms quickly found their way back underneath Ben Solo's arms. She kicked her legs, propelling them backward. She did not know if it was panic or shock that drove her, but she swam hard against the strong current of the ocean. She looked up. There was no way she could carry him up the steep cliffside. She had to find another way to get them to safety.

Rey kept close to the cliffside to ease her struggle from the raging current. Holding on to Ben's cold and limp body with her arm snaked around him, she used the other to hold on to the rock wall. She looked behind her to see a pebbled beach that would provide a place to rest. She pulled the two of them with all her might. Her feet found soft ground as she got closer to land. The pebbles gave way under her weight as she made it out of the water. Rey collapsed when Ben's torso was fully on the beach. Her breathing was hard and fast. She felt as if she could not catch her breath. Ben's heavy body rested limply in between her legs. His chest was still and unmoving. Rey panicked as she moved out from under him. She took his wrist in her hands, planting her feet, as she pulled him out of the water and further onto the rocky shore. His limp arms fell hard to the ground when she let go of them. Rey rushed to his side. She shook him, but his body just thrashed with her jerking movements. "Don't you die on me, Solo. You can't die! I need you. You hear me, you dumb idiot? I need you!" She screamed at him, tears beginning to fall from her eyes down to his chest. Rey placed her hand one over the other and locked her fingers as she lowered them to his diaphragm. His skin was cold to the touch when her hands met his body. She looked at him as she began to start chest compressions, looking for any response. She pumped for thirty seconds before she stopped to tilt his head back. Rey pinched his nose and opened his mouth with her free hand. Her lips sealed his as she took a breath and blew an exhale into him. She could see his chest rise artificially by her breaths. She took another deep breath and exhaled and then another before she started compressions. Her tears fell faster as the seconds ticked on. She pumped and gave breaths for what seemed like thirty minutes. Her fear that he was dead flourished within her. If he died, it would be her doing. She was the one that caused him to crash. He did not even fire back at her when they chased him. It was all her fault. It was by her doing that Ben Solo was lying on this beach, legally dead.

Rey gave one final chest compression before her lips sealed his, giving him another breath. Ben Solo's body lurched as he coughed water out of his lungs. Rey turned him on his side to stop him from choking on the water. His eyes were squeezed shut as he continued to cough. His body shook violently as he tried to expel the foreign fluid from his lungs. Rey kept a tentative hand on his shoulder while she watched him come back to life. Ben rolled over and opened his eyes to a familiar face in the dark. The moonlight defined the worried expression she wore. Rey's hand sat on his chest, his skin was cold to the touch. They studied each other in the dark, watching the other's eyes as if searching for them to say that everything was going to be okay. The gash on his head was a deep purple, the sight of it riddled her with guilt as she examined it. Her eyes traced the scar she gave him before she met his waiting eyes. She had almost lost him. Her emotions were jumbled, but one was clear; she was glad he was alive. "Rey…" His voice was as soft as his eyes. It had an almost sweetness to it. He folded his left arm to meet her hand that rested on his chest. Rey's tears started to fall quietly in the dark onto his exposed torso. Her sniffles filled the silence that sat between them. She felt relief knowing that this man, not friend nor lover, was alive. Rey did not have the words to describe who he was to her or how she felt about Ben Solo. All she knew was that she was glad to feel his heartbeat beneath her hand. He closed his eyes to allow himself some peace. "Ben I- I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I did not know that was you on that ship. I am so-" Rey was interrupted by Ben hushing her as if it was a sign to be still and quiet. Her tears continued to fall as she watched Ben Solo. He looked so calm in the dark with his eyes closed.

The night air, along with their soaking clothes, made Rey shiver. She lifted the back of her free hand to her face to wipe the tears off. Her sniffles began to fade as she slipped her hand out of Ben Solo's grasp. He did not seem to be disturbed by her movement. He was exhausted and needed rest. Rey gathered herself as she stood up. The gravel beach crunched underneath her feet as she made her way towards the cliff. She placed her hands on the wall, trying to find a foothold. Rey hoisted her body up the short yet steep wall, taking her time to find her grip and footholds. The young Jedi found her next advance placing her at the edge of the cliff. Swinging her left leg over the edge, she pushed herself up and over the wall. Rey collapsed onto the soft grass that seemed black in the dim light. Her mind and body were fatigued as she lay breathless in the grass. Her legs hung over the cliffside while her body lay safely on the island. Her breathing was ragged, as if her adrenaline was fading while she lay there. Rey sat for a second to calm her lungs before she rolled over. She used her arms to lift her body at an angle to allow clearance for her legs to make it onto the solid ground. Her aching legs pushed her upright to walk towards the Millennium Falcon that sat off a short distance away. The freighter's ramp hissed open as Rey approached it, allowing her to walk aboard the ancient ship. She took an immediate right towards her old sleeping quarters. Her arms wrapped around herself, trying to stave off the chill that riddled her body as she walked. The soaking clothes still dripped with each step she took down the circular corridor.

The automatic door opened with ease as Rey came to it. It had been too long since she had been back here. She had spent so many nights here thinking about Master Skywalkers' warnings, but then there was Ben Solo always drifting back into her mind. The room was just how she left it. A few stray pieces of clothes littered the ground, her bunk a mess, and her dresser covered in books and loose papers. The room was small but made her feel at home as she quickly started to shake her way out of the wet clothes. Rey threw the belt to the floor with a thud, her soggy tunic followed with a wet smack. She stepped on the back of her boots, pulling her foot upward and out to discard the shoes. Her thumbs looped the waistline of her simple linen pants and pushed them down her legs. Gravity pulled the water weighted garment to the floor, allowing her to step out. Naked and cold, Rey crossed the room to the messy dresser. Her hand reached out and grabbed the pale wooden knob of the top drawer. Opening it, she pulled out a simple sleeping garment. It unfurled as she lifted it from the drawer. It was long and would provide warmth. Rey bunched up the material to slip her arms through the long sleeves. The material of the gown was soft against her bare skin. The slits down the sides of gown exposed her lower thigh, something she would not have chosen to wear in the company of anyone, let alone Ben Solo, but it was the only clean garments accessible to her. Rey pushed the thought from her mind as she turned toward her bunk. She bent down and grabbed the woolen blanket from the narrow bed. Her arms carried the bunched up blanket as she walked toward her door. The door opened when she approached to reveal the circular hallway as she stepped out. She quickened her pace. She had to make it back to Ben.

The breeze drifted softly as Rey stepped outside the Millennium Falcon. The quiet night was filled with the sound of the ocean's tide rolling and retreating from the shore. The soft grass felt good against the bare skin of her feet as she walked towards the cliff that led to Ben Solo. Peering over the edge, she could see him sound asleep on the beach. Rey let the blanket fall the short distance to the pebbled shore as she turned, lowering herself to climb down the cliff. She turned to pick up the wool blanket that sat just in front of her. Rey had never seen Ben Solo so at peace before. He slept soundly as she approached him. His hair, still wet and clumped in large pieces, fell across his expressionless face. His mouth was slightly open as he laid there. His muscular arm was tucked underneath his head as a pillow. Rey grabbed the opposite corners of the blanket and threw the other half out, slowly lowering it to the man who slept soundly in front of her. She sat down next to Ben with her legs folded into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Rey rested her head on top of her knees and watched Ben Solo sleep. She watched the way his strong brows furrowed, dreaming about something. He looked sweet and innocent, things that Kylo Ren was incapable of. But watching Ben Solo in the smallest moment, Rey was able to see him and peak through his mask. He was vulnerable and insecure, it felt like she was intruding on something so private and intimate.

Rey looked away, casting her eyes to the horizon. The stars that littered the night, peeking through the black sky. The moon highlighted the crest of the waves rolling over the shore as they rolled in and back out. She closed her eyes with her head tilted upward at the moon. The night felt calm. The sounds of the excluded beach brought peace to her, pulling her from her thoughts. She turned herself, drawing her eyes back down to the sleeping man. She sat parallel to him. He was on his side, arm still tucked underneath him like a pillow, curled slightly into himself. She lowered herself next to him, laying her arms on her stomach. Her head was turned to the side, watching his peaceful state. Rey thought back to where their relationship started. Kylo Ren loathed the young Jedi and her naivety of the world, her childlike idealism, and wanted to tarnish her; bring her to the Dark. Kylo Ren was still heavily in control over Ben Solo, but Ben still had a voice within him. Kylo Ren wanted to watch her beg for mercy as he slowly watched the light slip from her eyes at his doing, relish in it even. The fight between the split personae waged on over the months Rey and Ben Solo have shared the Force-bond, yet Rey could still see him in there. His soul is so tattered, fraying at the edges, so broken, but he still fights for the sanctity for his soul and of his mind. On the outside, as he slept, he looked so tranquil, as if everything was so far away from him. There was no Kylo Ren, no Force-bond, no Rey, no trauma, no past, just Ben. Rey closed her eyes to the sight of Ben Solo, allowing the sounds of ocean waves coming in and out to carry her to sleep.

* * *

Ben Solo awoke suddenly as his eyes shot open. It was dark and he had no idea where he was. He sat up slowly, his left shoulder screamed at him as he used the arm to lift himself. The warm wool blanket fell bunched up in his lap. Ben looked to his left and saw the ocean and nothing else for miles. It looked black at night. The sound of the waves filled the silent air. He looked down at himself, he could see bruises on his chest and small cuts. Ben shifted his weight on to the left arm, the muscles burned with ache. His right arm tested the bruises that littered his torso. The one just over his diaphragm was a deep purple and was the biggest he found. What happened? How did he get on this beach? Where was he? Ben Solo did not remember anything after he had found the cave. He remembered what happened on Dantooine and how Kylo Ren butchered the Twi'Lek and the other bounty hunters. Ben looked at his hands, he could feel the way it felt to burrow his Lightsaber into each bounty hunter and how Kylo Ren felt ecstasy watching them die by his hand. Disgust, shame, and guilt were washing over the broken and lost man. Ben Solo had never been a man to cry, but replaying the last twenty-four hours brought sadness over him. How could he have been so weak to relinquish power over to him, that monster? Ben made no sound as he watched his hands, quiet tears falling into them. Something shifted next to him. He snapped his attention to his right. A human figure laid curled into a tight ball. It was a woman, but her back was turned to him. Her brown hair was long and was cast behind her. He moved closer to the woman, not knowing who she is or her intentions. She wore a thin linen nightgown that was light in color. His eyes traveled down the woman's figure. Her nightgown had a slit up the thigh, stopping just short of her hip. He leaned over her sleeping body to see her face. The moonlight lit her peaceful face, her young features, her strong eyebrows. He knew her, it was Rey. Ben Solo almost laughed at the sight. She shot him down, almost killed him, and then rescued him. Ben thought to himself that he would never be able to figure this young woman out.

He watched her for a moment longer, her face made an expression as if she was dreaming about something sad while tears were leaking from her closed eyes. He put a steady hand to her head, brushing her hair back to try to comfort her. Rey nuzzled against his hand as he brushed her soft hair, watching her begin to calm. "Ben…" Rey mumbled softly and unconsciously. It sounded so sweet the way she spoke his name. He bit back a smile, fearing that this woman would make him give up all reason and move in closer to her. Rey looked so soft and beautiful, something Ben Solo never dare notice. Her long brown hair, her long eyelashes, her soft yet strong features, the slight turn up of her nose, things that made him feel warm to look at. She looked as if she was so untroubled by life and was at peace with it as she slept. Ben moved his hand to her face, it was soft as he stroked it with the back of his fingers. What was he doing? How could he let himself fall deeper into her grasp? It was as if she were a beautiful poison, born to drive him mad. Ben Solo did not care if he fell deeper into her hold, it was soft and warm there. She has been the only person in the entire galaxy to not turn away from him in fear or disgust. The only one that could look him in the eyes, see his demons and not back down. Rey was the only one who reached within him, to that dark corner that hid him for so long and pulled him back out. And she did it almost effortlessly, how was kindness so easy for her? Thrown away like trash, scavenged to stay alive, and then turn out to have such a kind yet firm disposition.

Rey shivered as the ocean breeze blew past her. The night was cold and Ben could see no material for a fire. The blanket that sat bunched in his waist would have to do for both of them. Ben took the woolen material in his hands, whipping it outward. He lowered his arms, the blanket following as it began to cover them. It was not a big blanket, big enough only for one, but if they stayed close, it would keep them warm throughout the night. The blanket only covered half of Ben's body once he covered Rey. He lifted the corner of it, slowly moving closer toward her. He had never been so close to a woman before he met her, let alone sleep next to one. He was a grown man and she made him feel like a teenage boy all over again; so inexperienced and nervous. He laid on his back, giving as much distance he could to keep from touching her and still have the blanket covering him. Rey nuzzled into the blankets, her body relaxing from the warmth the blanket provided. She turned over to face him, her arm landing softly on his arm. Ben froze but settled at how nice her hand felt on his skin. He moved in closer to her and her sleeping body positioned around him. Her leg over his, her head on his shoulder, her arm across his chest. He did not know how he was supposed to react to her. He just laid there, with this young woman draped over him, and yet it felt right. She felt right. It comforted him, made him relax. He let his eyes close, letting peace find his mind despite the warm pool in his stomach. Ben Solo opened his eyes and cast them upward to the dark sky that was littered with stars. His eyes traced the few constellations he knew from the nights spent on Dantooine. The sky brought him peace, allowing his eyelids to fall. Ben Solo did not try to fight the exhaustion as sleep fell over him

* * *

The warm light of Ahch-To's first sun penetrated through Rey's eyelids causing her face to contort. Squinting, Rey opened her eyes to the pebbled beach. The sound of the waves filled her ears as she began to lift her arm above her, stretching her muscles from their stationary position. Something heavy rested on her side. Rey moved cautiously, turning her head to see who occupied the space next to her. Ben Solo laid there deep in sleep. His lips were slightly parted as soft sighs escaped him. Ben's soft black curls blew across his face in the gentle breeze. The tips of Rey's ears began to heat up as she looked at Ben Solo. All she could think about was how close they were to each other or how the warmth of his body radiated off him. At this moment everything seemed so calm and still and Rey felt as if she could sit here, watching him, forever. She snapped herself out of it. She cannot allow herself to fall deeper into his intoxicating clutches. She must be strong and refrain from herself, from him. Ben Solo did not need a lover; he needs a friend, a teacher. Rey's hand grasped his wrist and forearm carefully in order not to wake him and moved out from under the weight of his limp arm. The tips of her ears began to now burn at the thought of their proximity throughout the night. She slowly inched away from Ben Solo who laid asleep with an exposed torso. Rey rose as she brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, the graveled beach shifted with her movements. She watched for a moment longer before she looked out at the expanse of the ocean. The first sun of Ahch-To was sitting above the horizon, the second nowhere in sight. The warm light caressed her skin, bringing warmth to her body. Rey closed her eyes in the peace the secluded beach provided. The sounds of the waves drifting in and out, the sound of the breeze surrounded her senses. She brought her breathing to a slow and steady pace, clearing her mind.

Off to the side of Rey laid Ben Solo, slowly being coaxed from a deep slumber. The warmth of the first sun and the light traced the skin left exposed from the blanket. He brought his free hand to his face, moving around the skin that felt tight from inactivity. Ben Solo squinted as he opened his eyes to the light of the morning, examining his surroundings. It took him a moment to remember the events of when he woke up in the middle of the night to a shivering Rey. Flashes of the slit running up her thigh that the nightgown exposed, inching in closer to her to cover her, the feeling of her feminine body draped over his all came rushing back to him in an instant. The foreign warmth began to pool again in his abdomen at the images playing in his mind. He let his hand drop to his side, tilting his head back to look for Rey. She could not have gone far. Is she upset about last night somehow? Ben thought to himself as his eyes search the beach for Rey. But, from where he lay, she was nowhere in sight. Ben Solo slowly rose, allowing the arm he laid on to uncurl as he put his weight on it. His muscles were sore and stiff, his body littered with cuts and bruises. Ben began to whence at the crash catching up with him.

"Careful now, you have been through a lot." A soft and firm voice sounded from behind him. He knew the voice well. Hearing it almost brought a feeling of relief over him. Resting on his arms that were outstretched behind him, he turned his head to meet the voice. Rey stood there, arms folded, with her dark brown hair flowing down to her shoulders. Her face wore an expression of concern, but also relief. Again, something Ben Solo was not used to since the birth of Kylo Ren so many years ago. Ben Solo almost smiled at the sight of Rey before him. The ocean breeze picked up loose pieces of Rey's hair and the hem of her long nightgown, whipping them around.

"How are you feeling? How badly do you hurt? Do you remember anything?" Rey walked over to his side to face him, lowering herself to rest on her knees. Her tone was genuine and inquisitive. Her eyes looked up from the ground to meet his watchful gaze. He dare not move to avoid feeling his injuries. Her eyes were soft as she stared into his, but there was a worry that riddled them too. He cast his eyes to the rocky cliff wall that was a short distance away behind her. He could not look at her right now, not after the things he had done since she had last seen him. Especially with the images, Kylo Ren fantasized about just before the crash. He felt evil and disgusted by Kylo Ren for being apart of himself.

"I think I am okay, just a little banged up from the crash. I am surprised I even survived. So, thank you, Rey. I remember everything. I remember you coming to get me from Dantooine, the attack when we almost…" He couldn't say it, the words in relation to her, a woman, felt so unfamiliar to him. Rey nodded her head at each segment of the events that played out in the last twenty-four-hour cycle until he came to the part where they almost kissed. She looked away to the ocean, bashful at the thought of their recurring proximity.

"Good, I am glad to know that you remember everything and that you are okay. I am so sorry for everything. If I had not come for you, just let you be on Dantooine, then you would not have been put in this situation in the first place. I would not have fired at you if I had known it was you piloting that ship. I feel so foolish! If I had not closed myself off to you last night, then I would have known it was you and you would not have crashed. You almost died and it is my fault." Rey let out an exasperated sigh as she stood up abruptly and turned her back to him. Her hands rose to her wind-whipped hair, raking her fingers through it before letting them fall back to her side. Ben Solo grunted in pain as he lifted his stiff legs to his chest, using his arms to leverage himself to stand up. He walked quietly towards her, the pebbled ground giving his movements away. Rey turned her head to him, her eyes were filled with sadness and guilt. She looked at his face as he came closer, it was soft yet serious. Rey looked away as he stopped behind her.

"Rey, look at me," She stayed with her back turned towards him, "Look at me." Ben Solo ordered her, but his voice was not angry but it was stern. She turned to face him with teary eyes and her lips starting to quiver. Ben Solo's countenance was gentle yet searching. Her eyes stayed level with his as quiet tears began to fall down her youthful face.

"What matters now is that I am okay. I am alive thanks to you. So, thank you, Rey. You did not have to come back for me. Hell, you didn't even know it was me in that ship." Ben Solo's voice was genuine and gentle as he spoke to her, trying to reassure her that somehow he was not upset. He rose his large hands to either side of her shoulders, grasping them lightly. Rey's eyes glanced at his arms, looking at each sizeable hand that gripped her. It is not like Rey had never been touched in such a familial way before, but with him, it meant something completely different to her. The tips of her ears began to heat up as she slowly raised her eyes to look back at his. His gaze was unwavering but seemed to have a soft quality to it. How was she supposed to keep him at a distance if they kept ending up in these situations? Ben Solo took a step closer to Rey to close the already small distance between them. His hand slipped from her shoulders and sunk down her back, pulling her closer as he brought her into his hold. Rey has hugged and been hugged before, but not in such an intimate way such as this and certainly not by him. Her body went stiff at the sudden change of their proximity but began to melt into his exposed chest. His hold was firm, but soft, it felt secure to her. She let her limp arms, that were tucked in between the muscles of his arms, rose to return the embrace. She rested her hands flat on the warm, bare skin of his back and pulled herself further into him. The guilt and fear of almost losing him became too much for Rey to handle as her body began to cathartically release tears from her eyes. Although she was crying silently, Ben Solo felt the overwhelming sadness ripple through the bond. His hold on her tightened in order to comfort the young woman in his arms.

Rey, still holding Ben Solo, tore her face away from his tear dampened chest to peer up at him. Ben Solo looked down at her wet eyes that seemed to be apologizing a thousand times over. He brought his hands up from her back to wipe the tears gingerly off her face with calloused thumbs. His eyes searched for any reflective spots from tears on her face. Rey watched his worried and focused eyes search over her face, thinking of how fate threw them together here on this beach. Happy that he had successfully rid her face of tears, Ben Solo looked back to Rey who stared at him with awe, he watched her eyes, watched what she was saying through them. His hands now, back at her shoulders began to trace up the sides of her delicate neck. Rey stood unwavering, closing her eyes to his reassuring touch as his hands made their way to cup her face in his hands. She opened her eyes when his hand stopped at her face. Through the bond Rey could sense the warm feeling pooling at his core, how the blood rushed through his veins, his heart beating hard within his chest. He was nervous and Rey felt that ripple through him to her. In response to his delicate touch and his emotions rippling through her. Rey's body shivered against the body of the one man she could not have, yet wanted to give into him so badly. The Force-bond shared between them cast what the other was feeling, or at least the essence of it, and threw it back at them. When Rey felt happy, safe, or secure, Ben felt it too. But, at this moment, the nerves and the pooling warmth in their abdomens, seemed to feel tenfold of what they were already enduring. Ben Solo and Rey stood there in shock, waiting for whatever was going to happen. Her face still cupped in his large hands when Ben Solo lowered his head mere inches away from her face. Rey's mouth fell slightly open as her breath hitched in her throat at the newfound proximity.

Their eyes never looked away from each other, they were locked in and hyper-aware of each sensation. All she could focus on was how the way his hold made her body ache for his lips to touch hers. The bond allowed Ben Solo to feel her longing, her ache for him to close the gap between them. His heart jumped erratically within his chest. They stayed standing in each other's arms, caught in the moment. Rey closed her eyes at the feeling of his warm breath cascading over her skin, relishing on how it felt to be in his arms. Ben Solo needed this, needed to know what she felt like against his lips. As if in slow-motion, he closed his eyes as he pressed his full lips to hers. Stunned at the contact, Rey's eyes widened and fell shut at the soft and tender kiss he gave her. It was sweet and subtle the way Ben Solo kissed her, like a nervous teenager. She never imagined her first kiss being with him, Kylo Ren who was slowly turning back into Ben Solo. For him this moment swelled his heart, pulling at his chest. Loving someone and being loved in return was all he ever wanted. Rey pushed her lips further into his as the bond compounded their sensations and drove it back to them.

Lips interlocking, conforming to each other, the two stayed holding one another in the shared kiss, but it quickly turned into a heated moment as Rey parted her mouth to take his lips with hers. Her hands moved out from behind his back towards his torso. His skin was soft despite the countless roughly healed scars that littered him. Her touch was delicate, causing Ben Solo's body to shiver as her hands rose to his chest. Ben Solo's hands that still held her face began to move. His right hand wove its way through her hair, grabbing a handful of her dark brown locks. He took his left hand down to the small of her back, his hands staying close to the contours of her frame. Holding their position, Ben Solo pulled her in closer into him, deepening the kiss. She felt so right in his arms as if everything in his life led up to this moment. Breathless, Rey drew in a deep breath through her nose, never breaking away from him, and pressed further into his warm body. Through the Force-bond the shared bliss washed over their bodies in a heated wave. Ben Solo let out a tortured moan against her lips, tightening his grip on her hair as she softly bit his lower lip. Almost as quickly as the feverish kiss had begun it ended when Rey drew her lips from his. Breathless and in awe of the moment, they stared at the other, searching for them to give away their reaction. Rey's face wore an expression of confusion as she looked at an awaiting Ben Solo, breathless. Master Skywalker's teachings about love and attachments ran through her mind. _Traditionally, forming attachments is strictly forbidden within the Jedi Code, but it is not truly a path to the Darkside. Weakness, fear, and anger is your downfall. Loss is inevitable when you love, accepting it and letting it go is a fact of love._ She looked away towards the sea, separating herself from him. Rey turned her back to him, unable to look him in the eyes

"Ben, we can't. We can't do this. I will not serve as a distraction to you. You are too fragile. You need a teacher, someone to help you back to the Light. Not a lover." Rey declared with a mournful tone lacing her voice. Ben Solo could hear that she meant what she said, but their bond deceived her. She did not want to say the words. Ben grabbed her arm that sat at her side, taking it in his hand. Her head whipped around to where his large hand held onto her, looking at it before casting her eyes to his. His face was now serious, almost frustrated at the young woman.

"Rey, will you let me decide what _I _need. All my life my decisions had been made for me. My parents, my uncle, Snoke, with them I had no freedom to choose who I wanted to be. I was always told who to be, how to act, and what to believe. Not once in my life have I been able to pursue what I wanted. And for once, just once, I would like to do something I want. The struggle between Kylo Ren and I is not easy, but ever since I first laid eyes on you on Takodana, there has been a change within me. Rey, it has always been _us. _We saw it that night on Ahch-to, so please do not tell me what I need." Ben Solo's voice was calm and collected, his words seemed to cut like a knife. Rey knew what he said was true.

"It is as the Force wills." Ben Solo added in a soft-spoken voice, looking at Rey with eyes that begged her to see what he saw for them.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

**I am so sorry for the long gap between chapters. Life has been a bitch lately and thus it has been hard for me to find the will to write. But, I am sure that after where we left Rey and Ben, you have been eager to find out what happened next! So I hoped you enjoyed the update! Do not forget to comment in the review section of what you thought! Give the story a favorite/follow to stay updated when new chapters come out.**

**Also, I am looking for someone to beta read for me. If you are interested, then PM me!**

**With Love,**

**E**


	11. Chapter 11: Destiny

Chapter 11: Destiny

"I- I can't do this right now. I'm sorry." Rey stammered as she gently pulled her arm from his loose grip, walking toward the rocky cliffside. Her emotions were swirling around in her chest as she walked away from an almost deflated Ben Solo. It hurt to feel his defeat ripple through their Force bond. She did not know how to react to a man, let alone one such as Ben Solo. She had never been kissed romantically by anyone before and the fact that it was _him_ made it all more confusing. Rey quickly found her way up the familiar rock wall towards the Falcon. Her sleeping gown constricting her movements each time she tried to find her next foothold. Rey almost stumbled into the soft, lush grass as she came off the cliff and onto the surface of the small landmass. She could not get to her room fast enough. Her pace was hasteful as she made her way up the open ramp of the ship. While her quarters were not a home, it was the closest thing she has had for comfort since she left Jakku. The room's automatic lights came to life as Rey passed the threshold of the door. She let out a deep sigh of relief as her eyes looked over the messy room.

Rey laid in her bunk of the Millennium Falcon with her eyes closed. Memories from the first time she met Kylo Ren, to their kiss, to now, skipped around in her mind. Her face was contorted at the images playing before her. When she first met Kylo Ren she could feel his hatred burning through his veins as he tried desperately to gain the location of Master Skywalker. Rey loathed that man. So, how had she ended up here? Her thoughts were spinning as she tried to wrap her mind around what Ben Solo had _meant _to her now. The heat from his kiss still lingered on her lips as Rey tentatively felt them with her fingers.

She knew that from her vision that their destinies were intertwined and there was nothing for her to do except to acknowledge that fact. How had they veered so far from their paths, to be here in this situation? Or maybe this was the path the Force had always meant for them to be on. _It is as the Force wills_, Ben Solo's voice sounded through her mind. He was the third person to tell her that. It was as if Leia, Master Anakin, and now Ben Solo were all vessels for the Force to tell her to surrender to her fate. She threw the hand that idled on her lips down to her side in frustration, hitting the thin mattress with a dampened thud.

She opened her eyes, turning over on her side to stare at the other side of the room. The cold white painted steel wall stared back at her as her thoughts continued to drift. Both Ben Solo and Rey had changed drastically since their fateful meeting. Ben Solo was slowly starting to come back to himself, shutting out the darkness of Kylo Ren. While Rey was left utterly confused. She had always had a good understanding of herself until he came into her life. Now she doubted where she stood as a Jedi. Rey had always been strong, determined, and unabashed by who she was. But now she is left spiraling. Since him, Rey constantly gave in to her emotions. Letting them drive her decisions. Fear of losing him drove her to Dantooine. That fear made her feel like she had to deceive her friends in order to enlist their help. That fear quickly overtook her rational thinking. And then there was the hatred she still felt for Kylo Ren. That hatred that she carried for Kylo Ren had somehow shifted, altered by Ben Solo. Or at least the small glimpses of him that poured through the cracks of a crumbling mask.

Just outside the door, she could feel his presence. She could feel his nerves as he paced in the corridor just beyond her quarters. The sound of his boots echoing on the grating of the Millennium Falcon was muffled through the steel walls. Rey, rolling back over onto her side, grasped the scratchy sheets in her fist. Tears began to well up in her eyes. She was so confused. She did not know what to do or how to feel. She could not face him now despite how much her feet wanted to take her to Ben Solo.

Ben wanted to knock on the door that partitioned him from Rey. He stopped his frantic march in the hallway before the steel door, his fist hovering to ask permission to enter. Ben Solo's heavy brows pushed together in hesitation as his loose fist fell back to his side. He stood for a moment, listening to the quiet that spread like an ocean between them. Faintly, soft sobs drifted through the steel door that he lingered at. His chin fell to his chest as he rested his forehead on the door. Ben Solo closed his eyes while he listened to Rey's obvious distress. He had not meant to cause her any harm with his actions. The moment had swept them both into the kiss.

They had both felt the _need_ to be closer to one another, but neither knew how it would affect the dynamic of their relationship. _Pathetic. Just end her. Do it,_ Kylo Ren intruded his thoughts. _No, I will not let you have her— not ever,_ Ben Solo pushed back on Kylo Ren's creeping grasp over him. A wave of disconnected anger seemed to flare in the background of his mind. Anger was always a handhold that allowed Ben Solo's insidious counterpart to take control. Kylo Ren had been in control for so long that his suffocating grip still had a hold over him. He was tired of being a coward. He was tired of sitting on the sidelines of his own mind. Ben Solo slumped at the thought of never being able to completely snuff out the rage within him.

_Do you honestly think that girl could want you after all you've done? You're weak. Pitiful. You are a monster. That's why she can't face you. She is disgusted by you,_ Kylo Ren's words struck deep. He lifted himself from the cool steel door and straightened. The grim thought was blaring inside his head. His hands at his side began to ball up into fists. He was angry. Not at Rey, but with himself. Ben Solo's heart began to beat hard like a drum in his chest as he turned from her quarters. The grated floors of the ancient ship echoed his steps throughout the hallway when he began to walk away.

Rey lay in her bunk. The sound of retreating footsteps pulled her from her state of dejection. She held her cries back to listen to Ben Solo's heavy gait fade away from her door. An ominous air hung over her while his emotions rippled untamed through their bond. She wanted to throw herself up from the thin mattress that she occupied and run to Ben Solo, but something stopped her for a moment. The first time she saw him like this, she had almost been killed. Rey's throat tightened at the memory of his large hands grasping her squeezing the life out of her. His extreme emotions of anger and confusion radiated off him. It scared Rey, but, as his friend, she felt a sense of obligation to help him. Despite her feelings, she couldn't stop herself when she was faced with someone who needed her help. Something deep within the young Jedi willed her to save the poor souls before her path.

Rey promised herself to always be the person she wished others could be. The one that stands up for justice, has mercy, and kindness. Hastily, Rey jumped up from the thin mattress tossing her feet over towards the cool floor. She used her leg's strength to push her body off the low sitting bunk and rushed towards the door. She did not care that she was still in her nightclothes or that she did not have her boots on. She had to run, get to him before he went off the deep end. Anger is a raw emotion that once it's grip has found a home within someone, it is hard to expel. That is what Ben Solo had been fighting since he had first laid eyes on Rey. She was pure and seeing that within her had made him ache to be who he once was. A Jedi who believed fighting for the helpless, not a Sith who cut down who he pleased. He was tired of letting that monster rule his life. Rey knew this, felt it, saw it in his eyes, and within his soul.

As she ran down the halls of the Falcon, her face bore a determined, linearly driven expression. When he was in this state there was no telling what might happen. The fearsome rage bore through the air like a targeted beam of plasma from a blaster. It tore a hole through Rey as she began to emerge from the ship, each step taking her closer to the origin point. No thought of the consequences of what might happen to her once she reached its beacon. Outside the blue skies turned grey and were ridden with thick clouds. The dark ocean was raging and her hair and light garments snapped in the wild gusts of wind. This was the calm before the storm. No telling what was to come for the boy that never learned how to be a man and the girl desperately trying to be who everyone needed her to become.

Her last step off the ramp of the Falcon landed her on the soft richly green grass. Frantic and out of breath the young Jedi whipped her head in each direction searching for any sign of Ben Solo. Rey circled where she stood reexamining the places she previously cleared, wondering where Ben Solo may be. The small rocky peninsula left nowhere for anyone to go. Fear twisted Rey's imagination as possible scenarios played through her mind each sending her further into a spiral of frightful panic. Her feet began to take a step, then another, and another before she approached the degrading edge of the sheer cliff. Bits of earth-colored rock crumbled from the weight of her body that was positioned dangerously on the edge.

Rey could not see him on the pebbled beach below her. The storm was beginning to pick up as she stood at the brink. The thick grey clouds began to loosen its grip on the retained water, small droplets fell onto Rey's linen garment, dampening it in a sporadic pattern. Her shoulder-length hair was whipping violently in the wind, stinging her youthfully supple skin. Ben Solo was nowhere to be found. The young Jedi quickly found herself climbing down the short cliff faster than she had never previously been able to. The worst scene forcefully occupied the forefront of her mind. Rey's left foot tentatively felt around the pebbled ground before allowing her right foot to follow and her hands release their grip.

Quickly, she turned, still no Ben Solo to be found. The rain, now coming down in brisk droves, hit her skin with weight. Rey's hair began to clump together in thick saturated sections as she turned her head to scan the raging, dark ocean before her. Soaked and panicked, she closed her eyes while she tried to clear her racing mind to allow the Force to guide her, she searched for any semblance of their bond. Nothing. Her mind shifted to reach towards his spiraling emotions. In the exceedingly worsening storm, Rey felt the Force pushing out from her body, infinitely expanding outward in every direction. She opened her eyes abruptly, her gaze yanking to the left.

Running, Rey swiftly rounded the corner, hoping to find Ben. Her panic made its way to her throat, staying there in a tight lump. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion as if her feet could not take her fast enough. Skirting the cliffs rounded corner, there Ben Solo stood somberly in knee-high water with his bare back towards her. The ocean spray moved slowly across her view, waves moved too slowly, her heart pounded in her chest. Time seemed to slow down at that moment she found him before it snapped her back into sync. It hit her hard when she blinked to find him in the dangerous waters. She froze at the sight of him. His black pants soaked and his curls were wet and loose. His pain and confusion rippled through the turbulent storm and through the space that occupied between them. As if he had sensed her there behind him, he turned, his eyes were red and swollen. With the rapidly falling raindrops, indeed, Rey could not see that tears were streaming down his otherwise vacant, emotionless face. His drenched curls whipped in front of his pained eyes, but they never left her stare. Ten feet from each other, Ben Solo parted his lips as if to say something to her but quickly rethought it.

Eventually, after a long moment, "I'm not a good person." he shouted through the rain, pain laced in his voice while Rey stood there with watchful eyes. Ben took a step backward, further into the ocean that showed nothing but ferocity. Rey took a step with her hand outstretched before her, every finger erect. She began to tell him to stop, but he shot her a glare that told her to stay put. Her arm fell almost limply back to her side. Memories of Kylo Ren's rage bore into her. She swallowed, but could not say anything. She was utterly stunned at the situation.

"I'm tired, Rey. I'm so tired of fighting _him–– _Kylo. Just so— tired…" He seemingly deflated as the words left his mouth. As if waiting for a response she was always so willing to give, he stood there in the loud storm that was rushing around them. Her brown eyes never left his. The linen nightgown she wore was drenched and practically see-through. The watered-weighted hems of the garment flapped in union with the storm. Dark locks of hair blew with the wind, but she stood her ground, watching. She was beautiful in this moment. Ben Solo felt his breath catch in his throat as he watched Rey. The storm perfectly outlined her. Strong, relentless, and strangely stunning. He felt so unworthy to take in such a sight.

"It's hard to face this pain every day of trying to fight for my sanity, let alone my soul. Kylo Ren is always there lurking, waiting to take over at my weakest moments. I just want the anguish to stop. I have more blood on my hands than I can fathom. I want to wash the blood that stains me, but no matter how hard I try it won't come off. I can't do it anymore, Rey. This life is not mine anymore. I lost myself a long time ago and I can't find my way back. Han––my father tried to bring me home and I killed him, Rey. I killed my father. What kind of man does that make me? I am evil. Truly, irrevocably evil... " The energy from the storm and long-suppressed emotions of a broken man before her played a part in the shattering and weathered mask of Ben Solo to fall off completely. He let it all come out as he spoke. It was raw and pain-ridden. It stung to watch him internally writhe in pain. He broke his own heart and fractured his mind over the countless years under Kylo Ren's tight reign.

"I hurt too," She stated, "I feel your pain and anguish, the gut-wrenching guilt that keeps you up at night. Everything you feel I feel tenfold thrown back at me. I see the nightmares that never leave your mind. I see it. I see you, Ben." Rey yelled through the sound of pouring rain and untamed waves. He stopped for a moment at the impact of her words. No one not ever had _seen_ him as she had. The carefully constructed mask of Kylo Ren kept cracking further and further around her. But Kylo Ren needed the mask, the control, the power. Rey's words angered the alter.

"You know nothing of pain and torture. You are so naive, Rey." Ben callously spat back at her. Rey seemed taken back by the assuming snide reply. She bit the corner of her lip with a sharp incisor that stung as she tried to fight back the words that wanted to spill out of her. Letting go of the soft skin, Rey walked slowly toward the edge of the water. Arctic liquid met the bare flesh of her feet. Ben wanted to take another step backward but was frozen in place by the intense glare she gave him. Now merely inches apart, Ben Solo collapsed to his knees, letting years of torture wash over him. The frigid water surrounded the lower half of his exposed torso. His hands came out from the water slightly clenched, palms facing up. The water spilled out from in between the gaps of his fingers. His hands tightly balled up wet black curls in each hand as a painful wail escaped him. Rey began to kneel slowly, almost elegantly, lowering herself before him into the shallow water.

"Those nights," she paused, swallowing the lump in her throat, only rain filling the silence, "on Jakku, utterly alone in the world and you don't think I ever knew pain? The nights where I begged for someone to save me. Or longing to feel wanted and loved and you tell me I don't understand? I never had anyone. I was so alone all the time, but you know what? I kept going even though I felt like giving up. I starved and scavenged and I am still here. As I got older, every day felt like I was walking up a steep rushing stream that had no end. The rocks on my path were so slippery. I would fall time and time again back to the bottom, but I got up each fucking time and walked back up. So do not tell me I do not understand pain. I've suffered and I survived. That's what people do, Ben. We survive." Rey shouted through the storm while Ben Solo sat motionless face upward towards the thick clouds. Rain fell down his face, but he did not react to the fast-falling drops of water. Tears now welled in Rey's eyes as memories she tried to suppressed resurfaced.

"Look at me," Rey's eyes stared at the man who looked completely exhausted and defeated. Slowly he let his hands fall from the tufts of curls back into the water and brought his gaze to her. His eyes were painful to look at. "Ben, look at me in my eyes and tell me that I don't feel your pain. Tell me I can't see right through it all." he stayed quiet and motionless. The rain was still falling heavily between them. Their soaked skin and hair glistened in the grey overcast. The storm was deafening as it surrounded the two of them. He lowered his head down, looking away from her. Rey's hand lifted out the shallow water bringing it to the chilled skin of his neck, holding it loosely. She brought her forehead to his and whispered to him.

"You and I will never be who we were expected to be… it is as the Force wills." she finished softly trying to offer up some comfort, although loud enough to reach him through the downpour. The words perked his ears and resonated within him. The words eased him as she panted, out of breath, knelt before him.

* * *

Warm water trickled down the hard and exhausted body of Ben Solo. His forearm laid perpendicular to the wall of the shower with a limp wrist as his head rested on it. His eyes were closed as he tried to let the water be therapeutic and wash away everything that had spilled out of him. The storm continued with ferocity, causing the old ship to creak and groan. Ben switched the handle downward simultaneously cutting off the stream of water. He stepped out of the cramped shower stall and into a small bathroom that only held the essentials. A clean white towel hung on a rack just in front of him. The bathroom was not constructed well. It was as if it were haphazardly thrown together by Han Solo and Chewie. The small, dim light fixture in the center of the ceiling gapped. The shower barely ran and leaked. But it all got the job done.

Ben Solo began to pat himself dry before he wrapped the towel at his waist. One hand holding the fabric of the towel and one out reached grabbing the vertical handle of the sliding door of the bathroom. It clicked on the track as it opened to Rey's messy room. She sat on her bunk with a towel drying her hair. She had changed into an oversized white long sleeve shirt that draped to her mid-thigh. The natural fabric was slightly see-through, but Ben had averted his eyes. She flashed a closed-lip smile at him as she set the towel next to her. She looked him over. He still had droplets of water on his pale skin. His black wet curls hung loosely around his neck and wore nothing but a towel. She blushed and turned her eyes.

Rey stood up from the bed. Ben's eyes followed her every move as she made her way towards the cluttered dresser tucked in the corner of the room. Books of various subjects and sizes stacked dangerously on top of one another, spent pale yellow candles molded around the candelabrum and loose sheets of parchment scattered the modest top of the bureau. A small smile curled in the corners of his lips whilst watching her grab a pile of clothes from the top drawer.

"Here, these are for you. I found them tucked away in the quarters next door. I think they were your father's." silence dropped between them as the painful memory replayed in their minds. Ben reached out for them and grasped them tightly. These were some of the last of his father's things. He felt unworthy to even have them in his possession.

"Thank you." his lips pulled into a tight line at the memory of his father, taking the clothes he disappeared back into the confines of the small hygiene room. Rey could feel the confliction spark within Ben Solo as soon as she had mentioned Han's name.

She walked out of her chambers and around the circular corridor making her way towards the ship's storage. The storage room was barren of anything valuable after it came into Unkar Plutt'**s **junkyard on Jakku. Hopefully, she would be able to find extra blankets and pillows somewhere. The doors to the expansive cargo area of the Millenium Falcon flung open upon her approach. The hanger was barren except for the few trunks scattered sparsely. She approached one that was aged and that was once a deep brown. The metal hinges were rusted and ground against each other as she opened it. The chest was empty of anything useful and held nothing but dust. Gently, she shut the lid and continued to a nearby closet just off the entrance of the bay. She manually opened it with a pull, no lights came on. Rey searched for a switch on the left wall of the dark closet. The panel was cool to the touch and had smooth contours as her fingers found it and pushed on it, turning the faint light on. It flickered as it came to life, revealing mostly empty shelves.

The middle of many small shelves held a large folded blanket and a small pillow. Both were worn and showed signs of heavy use. Rey reached in and grabbed both items, tucking them underneath each arm. Turning, she switched the light off and closed the door. Her footsteps echoed off the walls of the empty room as she made her way back to the corridor. Ben Solo's ears perked up at the sound of arriving footsteps. He straightened his posture, waiting for her to enter the room. As if when she entered the room, she brought life back into it and it made Ben Solo ever so aware of her. She entered the room with a faint smile on her face as she made her way to where he sat on her bunk.

"I found these in storage. I hope they will be comfortable enough." she stood in front of him holding out the pillow and blanket stacked on top of one another. He was looking at her. Not blankly or coldly, but warmly. His dark brown eyes seemed to have lightened since an hour ago when he was wrapped up in a whirlwind of pain and confusing rage. Rey stared back for a moment before the heat had crept to her cheeks. Ben Solo smiled at himself as his hands reached up for the stack of fabric and the pillow. His hands brushed her as his hold closed on the pile. They were warm, Rey noticed. Her sharp incisor met the soft flesh of her lip again as she tried to ignore the warm fluttering in her abdomen. Ben let out a soft private chuckle when he felt it ripple back to him. Taking the pillow and worn blanket from her, he set them on the ground next to his feet.

"Thank you… again." his eyes fell to his hands that cupped each knee, feeling like an awkward boy in front of a beautiful girl. Did she not understand that she was a woman? Did she not know how provocative it was to wear that when they were alone together? In all honesty, Rey could wear anything and have the same magnifying pull on Ben Solo. He tried not to notice out of the corner of his eyes that her shirt became shorter when she sat down next to him. Her hands cupped the rounded edges of the frame of the small bed. She leaned forward as she sat. Her hair fell into her face as she stared at her feet.

The silence fell hard between the two. Neither knew what to say. Some many things had happened in a short 72-hour cycle. She could not take her mind off that night on Dantooine of their heated moment and the one of earlier today. The thought of his kiss reignited the fire that burned her lips. The Force bond blared each other's anxious fluttering and pooling warmth back and forth between them. Rey straightened her posture and took a hand up to her face to push the loose hair behind her ear. She turned her sheepish gaze to the man she sat utterly and completely alone with on a ship. Heat crept over Ben Solo's skin as he took in the sensual warmth ebbing and flowing through their bond. He could feel her gaze on him. He looked up at her.

"Rey…" her name sounded so sweet coming off his lips that at this moment she wanted the familiar weight of his kiss. She wanted to feel the weight of his hands on her and he wanted to give in to her need.

"I know, Ben…" she replied in almost a whisper. They both felt the heat, the wanting, the need. But neither knew how to initiate it. The two had never known the touch that so many others offered up for free. Both innocent and naive to the carnal act. Maybe it was the powerful, almost spiritual energy, from the storm or maybe it was their need to be closer that made them close the small gap between them. Ben moved first. He used his hand to push himself in closer to her, positioning the other on the small of her back. The air in their lungs froze at the touch. Her eyes still locked on his, her breath became shallow at the heated desire exuding from behind his gaze. His hand that sat on her back extended and wrapped around her feminine waist, pulling her in closer to him. Rey did not protest the newfound closeness to Ben Solo. Eye to eye, nose to nose, their shallow breaths collided with one another.

When two people in the Force are bonded together they become acutely aware of every shift of emotion and feeling between the pair. What one felt the other half felt times two. Every sensory input becomes heightened and thrown back, infinitely rippling back and forth between them. For Ben Solo and Rey, those laws were no different. Even a minor touch that traced Rey's body sent her pleasure to back to her partner. The warmth that pooled in between her legs sent him aching. Neither knew what they were doing but their whole world felt right in that moment, on her bunk all alone in the middle of a raging ocean.

Rey pushed the voice in her head telling her that it was a bad idea into a dark corner. Her sharp incisor found the soft flesh of her lip as Ben Solo shifted his body, moving to face her. In the same movement, he used his body to push her down to the bunk. Rey watched his features that seemed soft as they fell to the bed. His arms were on either side of her body, using them to prop himself above her. He watched her eyes. She was nervous under him. Ben Solo moved back up to his knees as his arms crossed over each other while grabbing the opposite corners of the garment. Pulling upward on the shirt, Ben Solo pulled it off of his body, tossing it away.

Electricity flowed between them, spiking their nerves. Rey's hands came up to meet the warm, scar ridden chest of Ben. He let out a soft sigh at her touch. She was a beautiful poison, a drug, made for him. Their eyes locked into each other, watching, looking for what the others were saying with them. Both the young Jedi's hearts pounded in the quiet room as Ben Solo positioned himself closer to Rey. Almost, instinctively, her soft sun-kissed thighs parted for her partner, inviting him in closer.

Ben Solo inched into the freed space, nervous and shaky, as the two awaiting bodies touched. Ben Solo's length pushed into her. The foreign touch rippled exhilarating waves of pleasure through her, causing her body to tense and relax. Ben let out a soft sigh from the bond throwing the sensations back at him. He bent his arms lowering himself onto her small frame beneath him. He let his nose take in the sweet scent of her heated skin in a long inhale, savoring her. His lips grazed her neck. Rey let out a sweet sound of approval in his ear as soft lips collapsed on the skin. Her arms that laid loosely on the bunk lifted from the sheets and gravitated toward the exposed skin of Ben Solo's back. Her hands softly grasped his soft skin, nails digging in. Ben Solo bucked at the thrill of the superficial pain, driving himself into her core. Rey's mouth dropped open as an airy, feverish gasp escaped her parted lips.

Ben's large hand came up from the thin bunk mattress and drifted teasingly slow down from her shoulder towards her breast, stopping for a moment. He watched his hand gently cupping the supple flesh that was covered by a thin white material. His broad hand sat on her chest as his viciously fire-filled gaze drifted back to her equally wanting eyes. Rey closed her eyes to Ben, taking in the moment and the feeling of his warm body pressed into hers. Ben Solo watched Rey's brown eyes disappear behind delicate skin and long, luscious lashes. He watched her move as if in slow motion. Her eyebrows were soft in their position. Her hair sprawled out behind her in soft waves. Her plump lips parted with a short exhale. Ben lowered his head to mere inches away from hers. The tip of his nose alerted Rey to his closeness. Her eyes opened to deep brown ones watching her. She tilted her head up, pursing her lips as if to beckon him to meet them. Ben Solo gave in to her silent request as he shifted his head to bring his lips to hers.

Warmth expanded outward, spreading to each of their extremities. Their lips molded together in a sweet but sloppy, passionate kiss. Rey's hands that still sat at his bare back, clenched as nails dug into his skin. They moaned into each other's mouth, pushing core against core. Both heated and desperate they plunged further into the kiss, deepening it. Ben Solo's strong hand came up from Rey's supple breast, tracing the exposed skin of her neck as he snaked towards the nape of her neck. Long fingers wove through fine strands of dark hair, sufficiently grabbing a fistful of hair, Ben Solo tugged at her hair. She bucked up against the hard length between her thighs at the exotic sensation. Her tongue asked permission to enter against his closed kiss. His lips parted with his wet tongue tentatively reaching out towards hers, delicately caressing it. Ben Solo came out of the kiss, dragging his teeth along Rey's lip. Her lip slapped back into place with a soft wet smack.

Both Jedi's heads whipped in the direction of the door, sensing movement coming towards them. Each scrambled up from the shallow bunk and on to their feet. Each assuming a defensive position, ready to attack. Rey summoned her quarterstaff into a familiar hold in her hand. Ben Solo, however, relaxed at a familiar but almost forgotten presence of the person approaching them. He straightened at it, feeling like a boy in trouble, embarrassed even. Rey, dismissed his feelings of ease and his anxious nerves, staying alert for the trespasser's arrival. Seconds felt like hours when waiting for a possible enemy to walk through the door. The intruder's light footfall echoed and bounced off the steel walls, growing louder before they stopped just in front of the door. The door opened to a woman, Leia. She looked worried and relieved at the same time. There was a long moment of silence as Leias's eyes bounced from Ben and Rey's disheveled and nakedness. Rey in her oversized shirt and Leia's half-naked son relaxed at her presence but also felt awkward in their current state. Leia smiled.

"Ah, it has been a long time since I have been on this ship. Hello, my old friend." Leia took a weathered hand to the cool steel walls and held it there. Memories of her and Han's wild adventures played out as her smile turned bittersweet. Ben Solo's eyes fell from his mother, guilt riddling him. If you looked closely at his mother, you could see the presence of tears holding tight to the rim of her eyes. As if Leia had to force herself out of the slideshow of memories, she turned to the two young Jedis in front of her. Her smile was sad, but she came here on a mission. She needed them to return to base. It was urgent.

"Hello, Ben." Leia's voice was laced with soft joy as she turned her gaze to her son. She had not seen him since he was a young man. He had changed so much, but he had not at the same time. He was unmistakably her son. She could not help but see her late husband in his face and even his build. But, one thing for sure, is that he had her deep brown eyes.

"Mother…" Ben Solo timidly addressed Leia. The tight, achy grasp on his heart tightened at his mother's greeting. How could she be kind to the monster that her son had willingly transformed into? The thought that a mother's unconditional love still applied to even the evilest, twisted, Sith baffled Ben Solo. His eyes dropped to his feet, feeling unworthy of such regard. His arms sat apprehensively with clenched fists. His palms were sweaty and the tips of his ears burned. Rey took up the gauntlet to get answers to why Leia put in so much effort to find them in the middle of the ocean of Ahch-To.

"Leia, what are you doing here? What's wrong?" Rey, took a casual posture now knowing that the intruder was no cause for alarm. But, knowing that Leia does not carry out any action without thought or calculation caused the hairs on Rey's arms to stand erect. Something is up and Rey senses the worry radiating off Leia. Leia straightens as if snapping back into her General persona.

"The First Order's probe droids were spotted just on the other side of the planet. The recon team was successful in going unnoticed by the droids, _this _time. But the First Order knows we are somewhere within the Unknown Regions. The droids littered these holoprojecters as they went. Here, play it. You need to hear it." Leia reached in her robe's pocket and brought out a small silver disk. Rey took it gingerly from the General's outstretched hand. Rey looked from Leia's eyes to Ben's. They were all on edge from the news.

Without a word between the three of them, Rey pressed the inner ring with her thumb before returning her hand to a relaxed upward position. The holoprojector, cheap in quality, skittered to life. The hologram picture of former General Hux jerked as it rendered the digital message. Hux stood tall, arms tucked sternly behind him. His hair perfectly combed back and his face was effortlessly expressionless. Ben Solo's forehead furrowed as he focused on the image of the man he despised most. The rat began to bark out a chilling warning.

"_This is Supreme Leader Hux of the First Order. As of today, our forces are closing in on the rebel group known as the Resistance. Their leader Leia Organa-Solo is a long time terrorist and has now turned to harboring violent criminals like the former master of the Knights of Ren. Kylo Ren is an enemy to the whole universe. They must all come to justice for their crimes against the First Order. We must band together to take down such terror groups that threaten our livelihoods. If you come into contact with anyone who has a connection to either Kylo Ren or Leia Organa-Solo, please come forward and you will be rewarded. General Leia, I know by now this message has reached whatever foxhole your ragtag team of rebel scum are hiding in. This is for you. We are close. We will find you. You are short on numbers and supplies. Your allies have deserted you. You are sitting ducks and it is only a matter of time before we find you. You fall short of the magnitude of the First Order. We will hunt you down one by one if that is what it takes. That is all." _The jittering holographic image of Hux cut out and disappeared. Ben and Rey did not move a muscle as the continued to look at the holoprojector. Stunned, their minds raced through every worst-case scenario. Adrenaline coursed through their hard beating hearts.

Rey's view shifted upward to an awaiting Leia, "This is bad."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hey there, everyone! Long time no see! I am so sorry for the huge gap between chapters. I hope this is a good way to open the floor back up to regular updates. I gave a little saucy tease between Rey and Ben to make up for it! See you very soon.

Much love,

E


	12. Chapter 12: The Calm

The Millennium Falcon's engines droned as Rey piloted the old ship over the vast empty ocean of Ahch-To. The ferocious storm had passed and the dark grey waters now listed lazily beneath their feet. Ben Solo sat quietly adjacent to Rey in the co-pilot seat keeping his eyes forward, zoned out, and lost in thought. The message dropped by the probe droids replayed over in his head. Hux's face stayed at the forefront of his mind, his lips moved wordlessly to the message Ben Solo knew by heart. _We are close. We will find you. _A pang of fear touched Ben's mind. The sudden shift in emotion caused Rey to peer over at him, slightly taking her sights off the flight path before her. He was still, his chest rose and fell slowly. One arm rested limply on the curved armrest of the chair with a large hand grasping the edge of the arm in a relaxed position. The other arm stood erect from the elbow. His fist was closed except for a thumb tucked underneath his chin and his forefinger resting on his temple. She could read his thoughts. They were blaring in the quiet.

"I know," She said, breaking the silence that hung heavily between them, "We will figure something out. For now, we need to get back to base and call a meeting. We need to go over strategy." Her eyes turned back to the calm waters in front of her. Ben Solo was pulled out of thought at her sudden statement. His head rotated in his hand's hold, looking at the young woman. She was calm and collected on the outside. On the inside adrenaline coursed through her veins as she flew the ship. Her eyes seemed still, but her mind raced. Her posture was stiff, and her hold on the yoke was rigid. Their Force-bond rippled Rey's inner turmoil violently back at him.

Beside them, a small personnel shuttle drifted over the ocean's surface. Leia was careful in her planning. Explaining the new individual she and Rey were bringing back to the main island was something she had to consider wisely. She sat on a cushioned bench of the shuttle, waiting for her arrival to base. It was a basic room. Nothing lavish styled the room. It was mostly rows of hardly bolstered benches and blank white walls. Leia's lightly liver-spotted hands sat laced together in her lap. Her richly colored robes creased at the weight of them. She stared at them as she thought about Ben Solo. It had been fifteen years since she sent her son to her brother's school. So much time had passed since she had seen any semblance of him. The closest she had been to him was reaching out through the Force, but it only allowed her to feel his energy. Nothing more. Leia did this from time to time as a way to check on her son, but she had always been deeply saddened by what she found. Her mind was always overloaded with hatred, pure hatred. But there was also deep sorrow that plagued Ben. It broke her heart every time.

The shuttle's engines began to whine as it slowed down. A dampened mechanical hiss sounded through the floor of the ship as the pilot deployed the landing gear. Leia's head lifted from her hands as the ship rebounded when it settled onto the main island. She knew now that she had to resurrect her son. Long ago, it's true she did mourn her son when Kylo Ren was born, and she told everyone that her son had been slaughtered like the other Padawans on Yavin 4. Back then, only Luke, Leia, and Han knew the truth of Ben Solo's unmistakably obvious turning to the Dark Side and the countless innocents he cut down in his rebirth. A brief memory of her waking up violently from a deep slumber played in her mind. Her heart cried, screamed in sorrow for the souls that wailed through the Force. But above all else, her heart wept for the death of her boy.

The poised general stood from the bench and turned, walking out from the aisle, towards the back of the shuttle. The door hissed open simultaneously with her arrival. Her view opened to a small airfield that was sparsely filled with ships the Resistance had left. The sight panged at her for a brief moment before movement caught her attention. She turned to watch the ramp of the Millennium Falcon lower to the ground. Out came Ben followed by Rey. Ben was dressed in dark-colored slim-fitting pants tucked into tall boots and a loose tan shirt. His curls sat laxly around broad features. A small smile found the corners of her lips as she watched her son take in his surroundings. He looked so much like his late father she thought.

Apprehensive, Ben Solo's gaze crossed his mother's. She was looking straight at him. Her deep brown eyes bore through him and swiftly he cast his eyes away from her. He was ashamed of himself, unworthy of her. Rey stood next to him. She offered a small, private touch with her hand to the side of his forearm. As if it was a way to comfort him, it calmed his spiking nerves. Knowing that he was not alone in his worry was enough to ease his mind. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes to his mother, trying to find a center within himself.

"Ben," Leia greeted him with an even, placid tone, "Rey, follow me. Do not stop and do not make eye contact with anyone. I am sure the troops will be wondering who you are, Ben. But the truth will be explained in due time to them. Well, a half-truth at least." Without another word, Leia strode down the small airstrip. Both the young Jedi quickly followed her. The main island was the biggest Rey knew of on the planet. Unlike their private peninsula, this island was more jagged and there was more rock than grass. But the island's energy provided comfort to her. The nostalgic time she spent here with Master Skywalker played in short skipping images in her mind. She smiled at his surly attitude and hermit lifestyle when she first found him here.

The only structure big enough to house the rest of the Resistance was the archaic stone monastery. The building was made out of the same stone that littered the rocky island, grey and rugged. The group made their way through a smooth, sprawling archway that covered a large aged wooden door. By now, they had begun to catch the attention of the Resistance troops. As they passed, both Rey and Ben had caught glimpses of their wide-eyed and confused expressions. The two young Jedi turned their gaze forward, following Leia down the central corridor. It was lit by the dual stars funneling through large carved out windows that sat high above them. Eventually, their small company took a left off the main hall towards a cramped, dim, and dank smelling corridor. They had passed two dated wooden doors that were clad with ornate metal hinges. The General stopped at the third door and pushed it open with a flat hand. She stayed at the entryway, making a sweeping gesture to allow them inside.

The office was neat and dark. The only light came from almost depleted candles that were molded around the candelabrum. The wooden executive desk was littered with loose papers and stacks of documents. Two modest chairs sat in front of Leia's desk, but no one sat. Rey, Ben, and Leia all stood in a loose formation. No one spoke for a moment. Rey was waiting for Leia to speak. Ben was still in shock at the thought of being in the one place he had killed to find. Leia, too, was dazed from being reunited with her son. But Leia, being the leader of an entire organization and used to taking charge, spoke first.

"By now everyone is talking about your arrival, Ben. I know that it might shock you to hear what I am about to say," she paused, taking a deep breath as if she was about to admit it to herself for the first time, " Fifteen years ago, when you turned, I told everyone that you died in the attack of your uncle Luke's Praxeum. I did this to protect you… to protect our family." her eyes glistened, wet at the reminder. Her voice was weak and breaking as she finished. Of course, she would try to protect him. The grown and broken man before her was still her sweet boy, at least somewhere in there, he was. A mother's love endures all time and space. _Unworthy _played over and over in Ben Solo's exhausted mind as he looked down at his boots. Rey was quiet at this moment. She knew that this was news to him. She could feel his dejection simmering beneath the surface. Rey let forth her empathetic understanding unto him through their bond. Leia took up the silence as a sign to keep going with her plan.

"Poe and the others should be joining us soon. In fact. Here they are. Come in." Leia's voice was instructive as Rey's three closest friends came in. Finn, Rose, and Poe all wore the same expression. It was a frustrated look that turned the waiting group sheepish. But Leia and Rey continued to stand tall, taking responsibility for their actions and even defending them. Ben did not make eye contact with any of his new acquaintances as he turned towards them. Finn looked disgusted, Rose blamed him, and Poe almost unnoticeably shook with anger.

"You cannot honestly expect us to accept this. Kylo Ren is a ticking time bomb and not only that, but the First Order is on our tails. And you brought the most wanted man in the galaxy _here_. Forgive my language, General, but holy shit. This is a questionable decision at best. It puts everyone in danger." Poe was angry as he addressed his superior.

"For starters, Commander, I am your General. You _will _regard me as such. Keep talking like that, Dameron, and you'll be mopping the floors. Secondly, I know that you all have been deeply affected by him and that it feels like I am condoning such actions by bringing him here. But trust me when I say that, Ben is changing." She glanced up at her son who was watching her defend him. She turned back to the angry three that stood off to the side.

"General," Rose piped up, "I agree, this puts us all and everything we have worked for at risk. Not to mention, the First Order is closing in on us." her voice was calm and matter-of-fact.

"Yes, I admit that we are in a vulnerable position here. I propose we move. I have an old acquaintance in the Colonies who might be able to give us discrete passage out of this system. A surly bastard, but supports the Resistance." a boney hand rose to her chin with a forefinger tapping it as she thought about the possibility. Though this man is not known for being honorable, he was their best chance of getting out undiscovered by the First Order.

Finn stood silently in between Poe and Rose. He too did not approve of bringing First Order trash into their inner circle. He was angry with Rey and the General, the two people that he thought of with unshakeable morals. But then he thought, _what if they had cast me out when I came to them looking to hide from the First Order? _The Resistance did not discriminate against people looking to join their ranks. They believed in second chances despite the background a person may come from. Both Poe and FN-2187 had questionable backgrounds, to say the least.

"Okay, then. I can have everyone ready to leave tomorrow morning, General. If this is our best option we have to take it. I am tired of hiding like a coward." Poe chimed in pragmatically. Poe was always the sort of man that did not dwell too closely with the details. Despite the trouble that got him in, he rolled with the punches. With a nod of heads, they were all in agreement.

"Then you are all dismissed. I will call an assembly later after supper." Leia disbanded them with a wave of her hand. Rey's friends left the dank office with the gesture. Ben Solo and Rey stayed for a moment longer, allowing her friends to put distance between them. They gave a short nod to the General before exiting the wooden door.

Rey and Ben walked the great hall in silence. The light that filled it was beginning to wane as the night threatened to fall. Ben took it in. Ancient tapestries hung on the walls that depicted the Lanai's deity. An archaic-looking hybrid of man and alien species that was surrounded by a halo of light sat on its woven canvas. Rey led them to a smooth stone staircase. The steps were steep as they climbed them. They began to slowly wrap in a spiral that turned in on itself as it led to the second floor of the monastery. They walked in silence as they approached the landing. The whole second floor was sleeping quarters for what was left of the Resistance's forces. The second floor was a quiet ghost town. In the day, the troops maintained the base and starships, keeping them in working order for times just like these.

"Here, this is my room. Come in." Rey gestured his entry as she held open the door with one hand. He gave her a quick glance before he walked past her into the stony room. Unlike her quarters on the Falcon, this room seemed untouched, clean. On the left wall. There sat a modest feather down bed that sat on a wooden frame. The simple sheets and cover were neatly made. It was as if she knew that this place was not her own and would only be temporary. It was reflected in the lack of personal effects. He stood in the center of the room, circling it, taking it in. It had comforted him to be there in her room, a safe haven of sorts. A private place that she and him could exist purely, unadulterated by the outside world.

Rey watched him take in the space with an even gaze. Her eyes moved with him. She felt a sense of calm overcome him as they sat in her barren room and, in turn, she was calmed too. The nerves that came with her friend's obvious disapproval at the meeting, and the lies that Leia was going to tell the whole Resistance, seemed to drift away being alone with him. She took a deep breath, relishing in the peace. Ben Solo turned towards her, taking her in. Her hair was messily piled on top of her head, loose hairs sprawling out from the hold of the piece of elastic. Her clothes were more form-fitting than her customary linen garb. She wore tight dark grey pants that tucked into knee-high leather boots and a light-colored shirt that stopped at the shoulders. She gave him a smile that made rare appearances. It was radiant and brave, but also touched by a sense of worry.

"What are we going to do, Rey? I know that Leia is going to tell everyone that I, in fact, did not die, but I will know the truth… it just doesn't sit right with me. The lying…" Ben Solo made three steps over to the small bed, lowering himself to sit on it. He put his face into the palms of his hand that was propped up on his legs. His dark curls fell around them. He took a deep but ragged breath, trying to let go. Ben looked up when something shifted its weight on the bed. Rey sat there looking at him, her smile was gone. She could tell he needed an answer from her. She looked away at the wall across the room. He could feel that she did not have the words that he needed to hear.

"I– I don't know what to do either. We just have to take it one step at a time." he knew that too, but he had wished there was something she could say to make him feel better. The quiet drifted between them as the moments passed. Ben Solo could not help but feel like this was all his fault. The First Order is looking for him here with the Resistance; if not for him, the safety of everyone would not be in jeopardy. Would it have been better for him to not have been born at all? If he had not been so weak, so willing to give his loyalty to anyone who noticed him, then maybe he would be a better man.

"I don't know why I am even here. Your friends are right, I am a ticking time bomb and I put everyone at risk just by being here. I should leave, it would be better for everyone if I did. God!" Ben jumped up out of frustration from the shallow bed. He felt so stupid for following her all the way to Ahch- To. Rey followed him, positioning herself in front of Ben Solo. His words angered her. In the last 72 hours, she had risked so much to bring him back to safety. Rey could not let her vision of his execution come to pass. The death of Ben Solo would be the end of her. She would overcome any obstacle, fight any foe, use every resource to save him.

"You know what? It is your fault and if we thought differently, then we would be lying to ourselves," the words shocked him. She was eye to eye with him now and her eyes burned with a passionate fire. She continued, "But the most important thing right now for you is how you are going to fix it. How are you going to show your mother, the Resistance, me, that we were not wrong to take a leap of faith on you?" Her words shook him. His mouth dropped open and closed, stunned. He knew what she had asked was rhetorical, but he wished he had the words to answer her. What was he going to do with her? Ten years younger than him, but infinitely wiser. She always keeps him on his toes, not being able to quite place a finger on her. Somehow she is predictable and unpredictable at the same time. He knew her words were true and he needed to find those answers within himself.

Rey and Ben Solo stared at each other a moment longer before they both stiffened to a tingling sensation in the back of their minds. Danger. Their stomachs dropped. Their eyes widened simultaneously. It was impossible. Leia had told them that the probe droids did not spot their scouts. So the question was, who or what was coming? Panic surged between them, their hearts pounding ferociously in their chest.

"I feel it too." Ben blurted out at the sense of an impending attack.

Without a second thought, the two Jedi raced towards the door throwing it open. Outside in the corridor, it was deprived of a single soul. They were running. They had to warn everyone that someone or something was coming. The stairway came fast, each step careful, but rushed. Their feet pounded on the stone as they flew down them. They began yelling, shouting as loud as they could that an attack was coming. The troops that littered the first floor began taking their battle positions. People were running, scared of the unknown attacker. Rey and Ben ran further down the corridor towards Leia's office, but the General was already outside ordering her Resistance fighters to their stations. They stopped in front of her, breathlessly panting.

"Leia," Rey gulped in air, "Somethings coming. They found us!" Rey's words spilled out, no time to account for conversational niceties. Everyone in the monastery wore the same panicked, wide-eyed expression as they rushed around.

"I know, I felt it the same second you did," Leia told them, the panic building in her voice. "You two need to run. Go! Get out of here! I'll be fine!" Leia yelled in the rushing chaos all around them. Ben Solo hesitated to leave his mother there for a moment before she gave him a look telling him that everything was going to be okay. He had just gotten her back and now he had to leave here in the midst of an attack. Rey was already a few steps ahead of him when she looked back to Ben and Leia. They stared at each other like they were having a wordless conversation. She tugged on his arm, pulling him away.

In the disarray, their unknown attacker was now upon them and it was too late to act. It was too far past the time for anyone to escape. A targeted blast from the assailant's ship ripped through the stone walls. The last thing Rey saw was the large portions of rock flying towards her. Sharp and bitter pain bit into the side of her skull. Her ears rang as muffled voices sounded around but she could not make out what they were saying. At that moment, she had no concept of time or of self. Her body felt weightless and her eyelids felt heavy. Her weight shifted free of gravity's hold. Rey felt the sensation of falling, but could not seem to be able to comprehend it to even stop it. She met the stony surface of the monastery's floor, the impact reverberated through her without pain. Her body could no longer perceive outside stimulation. The world went black as the noise and confusion drifted far from the Jedi's mind. She was out cold.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hey there, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this update! I know it was a shorter chapter, but it was time for some action! Who found them? What is going to happen next? Who knows! Stay tuned for Chapter 13!

With Love,

E


	13. Chapter 13: The Storm

Chapter 13: The Storm

Everything came back slowly to Rey as her eyes opened to the sight of familiar grey stone. Except it was no longer the smooth and untouched floor of the monastery. Bits of broken rock littered her view as she laid there. The wall several feet in front of her was blown up, a gaping hole was ripped through it. She began to rise, her muscles and head screamed at the movement. Rey rested her weight on an arm that was extended behind her. She winced as her other hand gravitated to the sharp pain that radiated from the side of her skull. Her fingertips were met with dried blood that was caked in her hair. Her hand dropped down to her side, putting the rest of her weight onto it. Rey panned her head, taking in the destroyed building. Walls were covered in scorch marks from blasters while others were completely gone. Corpses laid strewn across the floor of the main corridor. Their bodies, rigid and covered in rubble. Some of the bodies were mangled and bloody, it was a sickening thing to behold.

Her hand dropped from her sore wound, using it to push off the ground. She grimaced at the pain of her muscles screaming at her as she used their strength to pick herself up from the ground. Rey looked down at her clothes, she was covered in dust and dirt. She patted her clothes off before she looked up from herself. It saddened her to see such an ancient, holy place of the Lanai to be desecrated. The dead littered the main floor of the monastery. Sorrow for the death of Resistance fighters panged her heart as she stood there, taking in all the carnage. Among the dead were bodies that were most certainly not Resistance troops. They all wore different styles of clothes, clad in leather, or metal breastplates, no two mysterious corpses looked the same. Some were human, some were Quarren, while others were Twi'leks.

Rey walked forward, stepping over a disfigured body of a Resistance fighter, trying hard not to look into any of their lifeless eyes. She came upon a human body and knelt before it. Their cause of death was quite obvious looking at them. The man's eyes had a faraway look in them. His mouth cemented open. His head sported a blaster wound on his forehead; it burrowed deep into the flesh and bone. Dried blood stuck to the cold flesh, frozen in place where it had poured out from the gaping hole. Her gaze shifted down to the exposed skin of the man's neck. It was branded with black and red ink. The tattoo depicted four circles overlapping each other encased in a hexagon. Rey immediately knew what these people belonged to. They were cutthroats, bounty hunters hired to track down the Resistance.

The young Jedi shot up to her feet, now frantically looking for Leia, her friends, Ben, anyone, but they were not there. Panic now rooted itself deep within her. Had the First Order hired the bounty hunters? Most importantly, the question that blared in the forefront of her mind was, _Where is Ben?_ From what she could see, no Leia, Ben, or her friends laid amongst the dead. Rey closed her eyes, reaching out through the Force, trying to find the bridge that connected her to Ben Solo. She stood there for a moment, trying to push the confusion and worry away from her mind.

Nothing. No semblance of their bond was present. Tears welled up in her eyes, just on the verge of slipping over her waterline. Her worst fear took over her thoughts. He was dead. That was the only explanation for the connection being severed so abruptly. It was just gone. Disappeared into thin air. She couldn't feel him anymore. Ben Solo's heavy presence had vanished; she felt empty and carved out. His absence left her feeling lost, confused, numb. The tears no longer threatened to fall as they began to slip silently from her eyes. The warm moisture fell on her expressionless face. Her chest was a gaping hole where her heart once beat with ferocity. Now it was still and simply broken into pieces. The air in her lungs turned toxic, she choked and heaved for air. As if the weight of her reality hit her, anguished wails escaped her that sounded throughout the corridor.

Rey went limp, landing on her knees before she let herself hit the floor. Her world was cold, devoid of any meaning. All that could be, ripped away from her against her will. She had never experienced a loss like this. So empty in all its glory. Sudden loss. Sudden pain. Sudden numbness. Since the day the Force awoke within her, Ben Solo and Rey were always meant to be together. She wished now that she had not been so stubborn in accepting her fate. Because then she would have spent that time with him instead of fighting him tooth and nail. Her arm rose to her chest as her hand bunched up the material of her shirt. Rey's chest felt as if something was stuck there with a heavy weight. Her sobs couldn't make it better. Beating her chest couldn't dislodge it. Her tears couldn't wash it away.

She was so lost in her grief. It stung, cutting through her as she lay there, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. A piece of her died on the stone floor of the monastery; a part of her that was Ben Solo. If the soul existed, who created it to have the ability to writhe in such sorrow? How could she have been affected by a man that months ago was an enemy? He never smiled or laughed, by all means, he was not a likable man. But Ben was passionate and felt emotion with every fiber of his being; with that Rey knew that she was loved. Now, that was gone. _He_ was gone. How could he leave her all alone like this, so abruptly? Rey spent her life alone, so why did this feel different than before? Her pain was propelled by anger as she wept. It felt familiar and comforting. Something about it made her feel closer to him, but there was nothing to be close to anymore. Her heart panged at that thought. She lifted her hand, balling it into a fist. Rey brought the fist down with ferocity to the hard stone, hitting it with force, over and over again. It didn't hurt, it was numb. She was _numb_.

"You're such a jerk," Rey cried out to no one. "Why did you have to go out and get yourself killed, huh? You left me… you left me all alone just like everyone else! You of all people understand how that feels!" she screamed at the floor, hitting it again. Her tears burned hot against her skin as they fell.

"What am I supposed to do without you, Ben. Ben… Ben. I'm so lost. What am I going to do now? Why do you have to be dead? Just do one thing for me… don't be dead. Come back to me. Do you know what's funny? I remember that day you took me to Illum, you racked my mind looking for information, I hated you. I hated everything that made you Kylo Ren. I hated you when I watched you kill Han. I hated the rage within you, it scared me. But then, somehow you barged your way in, made me care for you… love you. Then you die, gone, and leave me behind. I hate you, Ben Solo. I _hate_ you!" Rey screamed and cried in vain to no one but the dead to hear.

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain." her voice dropped to a whisper, almost silent in the still air of the monastery. She knew that talking to him as if Ben Solo was there was moot. She knew he was gone. It was as if saying those words loud helped ease the pain her heart was riddled with.

Her sobs simmered down to whimpers as she continued to relive her memories of him. Memories of when they stood out in the middle of the murderous storm, bearing their pain to each other. The way his plump lips felt on hers. They were warm and soft when they conformed around hers. Or how his skin felt to touch. But none of that mattered now. He was dead and for all, she knew so were all the others. Rey's face contorted into something sinister, angry. She let out a bellow, slamming her fist one last time. Her legs and arms lifted her off the ground. Her hands were balled into tight fists, fingernails bit into her palms. It hurt, but she let the pain fuel her. The pain turned into anger and the anger into rage. A thirsty fire began to consume her from within, feeding off of the hurt, the pain, and the loss. Kylo Ren, renowned for being a deadly force, gave up so quickly. She was furious, how could _he_ get himself killed so easily? And at this point, Rey had _nothing _else to live for.

Rey walked over the corpses of her comrade and enemy without a second glance towards the cavernous hole just ahead. Hard breaths escaped her as she lifted one leg over the small pile of rocks that separated her from outside. The skies had turned violent again with hard rain and turbulent winds. The grey waters were crashing ferociously against the cliff, shooting sea spray high into the air. She let the chaos in, allowing it to add to the devouring fire within. She took in the planet's wildness in a deep breath as her eyes closed. She searched her mind, her soul, for the place that she never dared touch. The side of her that was infinitely dark and raw with power. The place that scared her. This place was warm and comforting, easy to give into.

The rain fell in brisk droves as Rey's hair clumped together in thick wet sections. Her clothes left with imprints of the water droplets falling all around her. The cold rain could not drown out the fire or calm her seething eyes. She pivoted where she stood to look at what was left of the monastery that was battered and on the verge of collapsing. A scream that came from the depths of her emitted out into the dampening storm. She called on the Dark Side of the Force, willing the lightning to strike the stone building. It was pale blue and crackled as it left her fingertips. The lightning coursed through her body. It felt like every neuron was electrified and simultaneously on fire, but it did not hurt. It felt good. She let the bolts surge through the building, branching out in every direction. It snaked through what was left of the corridors, catching fire to anything it could as it went. The flames started small, almost unnoticeable before it started to burn the dead inside.

The fire was now well established as the smell of burning flesh, putrid and sour, began to waft through the storm. Rey snapped her fist shut, the lightning ceasing with it. Breathless, Rey shifted her focus one what was left of the monastery. She could feel the structure in her mind, sensing every corner of it. She could feel the cumbersome weight of each heavy stone piled on top of the other. Her expression contorted, her body strained to grasp the structure. But slowly, she willed the building to comply. One integral stone after the other began to slip out of its place. Rocks crashed all around her, exploding from the impact. The monastery, still blazing in the rain, gave in at Rey's command.

With one last burst of energy, Rey thrust her other hand out, every finger erect and directing the Force at the building. The ancient stone erupted from its place in a crescendo of cracking. The grey rocks flung itself outward as they hurtled towards the ocean. The boulders crashed into the waters below, breaking the surface. Rey stood for a moment looking at the site of where the building once stood. Every block, every corpse, was gone, only leaving behind scorched earth. She fell to her hands and knees, exhausted. Her head hung low in between her arms while she heaved. The young Jedi had never used her power in great magnitude like this before. It took what little energy she had left, chewing her up and spitting out. Yet. somehow, the power did not scare her. She welcomed it.

* * *

Rey stood in the downpour at the edge of the cave that sat below the temple island. The island of Ahch-To is a holy and sacred place to the Jedi, the planet was staunchly centered in the Light. But with a strong pull to the Light side, like all things in the Force, there must be balance. This cave too followed the natural order as it was drowning in the Dark Side. It called to her now, feeling the shift within her, pulling her closer into its clutches. She stood there, soaking wet, at the mouth of the cavern, contemplating throwing it all away to see what she needed most. The dark grey ocean was wild as it hurled waves that crashed in front of her. It matched the tumultuous events of the past 24-hour cycle. Her eyebrows pushed together, her mouth flattened into a thin line with the corners of her lips tilted downward. She clenched her fists as she took in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs. Rey clenched her legs before releasing them in a jump. Her body was weightless as she fell, plunging towards the icy waters below. The air in the Mirror cave was different, thick with the presence of the Dark, her lungs could not quite process it as she took one more breath before dove into the water.

The cave was almost completely absent of light in the storm, making the already grey water impossible to see through. The small beads of air rushed past her skin, fizzing, and bursting as they made their hasty journey towards the surface of the pool. Rey's arms extended on each side of her using their strength to bring herself out of the depths of the cave. Her lungs began to pull in the dank air as water streamed off her face. The fire still burned in her eyes as she stared ahead at the unknown. The mirror stood ominously in the back of the cave. It called, willed her towards it. As if it knew what she sought after and would give her those answers. Her first encounter with the mysterious object of great power had left her unsatisfied, but she learned that she would only be able to rely on herself. What would it show her this time? A vision of what she will become given the dark path she was on? Or perhaps what transpired at the monastery? But she was determined to find what it called her for as she swam to the lip of the water, pulling herself out of it.

She stood in a defensive posture, face to face with the cold mirror. It saw her dark, her fire, her rage and pulled her closer to its clutches, tempting her with what she needed. Rey felt its presence too; it was cold, calculating, and ever so aware of her. The thin layer of frost disappeared as she came closer to it to reveal its reflective face. It showed Rey as a decrepit creature that mimicked her movements. Its hair was dripping wet and thin, her clothes clung to her boney body, but what stood out to her the most was its face. The eyes were a sickly yellow color, and the skin around them was black. Its face was gaunt with hollowed-out cheekbones. Rey lifted her right arm, the creature in the mirror moved its arm in perfect unison with her. Its eyes widened at her and stopped moving with Rey. Its arm dropped to its side and in a brief moment held still before it erupted in soundless laughter. Their eyes shut, its body moving with the laugh. But then it broke down. Slowly its body contorted in inhuman movements. Its back twisted and bent. Its head oriented upside down and looked back at her. Their eyes turned completely black and devoid of emotion. Like the mirror, they were cold and calculating.

"Enough of this game. I did not come here to play with you. Show me what I seek." Her tone was filled with stern anger. The image of the creature dissolved like smoke before her. Rey took another step to the mirror with her arm out. Her fingertips met the exterior of the object. An image began to appear, but it seemed far away and she was unable to make it out. The images played out with no sound. As the image came closer, Rey could feel her hand slipping through the face of the mirror. It felt like she was moving through thick, syrupy molasses and was completely absent of warmth. The mirror swallowed her arm, then her shoulder, before Rey could comprehend it, her whole body was encapsulated by the dark. She was hypnotized by the mirror's call as it pulled her further into its body. She felt no need to breathe, no fear, no sorrow, no anger, she was in a pure state of being. Her legs pulled her closer towards the image in front of her, being drawn to it like a moth to the light. She stepped into the image, sounds, warmth, and voices came back in an instant.

_I felt myself come back into my body, but it was not my own. I was stronger, taller, more rigid, and could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was ready. Ready for the attack. I was walking down the halls of the ship, our ship. It was alive with the sounds of mechanical whines. My brothers in arms passed me with a nod as I continued down the hall. I was heading toward my quarters. The door opened to a bleak room that only held my weapon and a small cot. No need for items from my past. Hunger panged at me. Not a hunger for food or water but hunger for blood. A hunger to drive my weapon into flesh radiated throughout my body. My fingers twitched as I stepped into my room. My weapon that sat in the far corner, drifted through the air into my gloved hand. The Mandalorian executioner Vibro-ax was heavy. So many had been cut down in its wake. My fist tightened around it. Kylo Ren, I am coming for you. Traitor. _

_The sounds of the ship's cannons firing pulled me out of my thoughts. I walked through the door and back down the hall. I joined my brothers at the exit. They waited, all clad in black and masks. Weapons ready. We are the Knights of Ren. Deadly. The doors opened, the ramp dropped. I lived for this. This is my existence. The stone building was blown apart, we wasted no time charging them. My brothers and I split up. We cut down the Resistance troops as we went. No match for the Ren. We are the Dark, we are power. I swung my ax, bringing it down into a man that looked surprised when my weapon cut through his abdomen. Deep red liquid poured out on my blade. I tugged on the shaft with my hands. It was deep. My foot rose to the man, my grip adjusted on the ax. I used the strength of my leg to push the man off of the blade. He looked down at the wound at back at me, wide eyes, yes. I loved this. He dropped instantly. _

_I look up from the man, my brothers wreaking havoc on the Resistance. The bounty hunters were vicious, but not in it for sport like us. I looked to my left, Kylo Ren had a blaster in his hand, shooting at the bounty hunters. They dropped like flies. They were no match for the likes of Kylo Ren. Former leader, I am here for you. The chaos was all around but I thrive on it. I see the General of the Resistance running towards the back exit. I reached out my gloved hand, calling on the Force and pulled her down to the floor. My power was more than the old hag's body could combat. She was out cold. The girl, she laid on the ground, unmoving, amid the attack. Kylo Ren looked at me, the familiar rage burned in his eyes, but something new I never saw before. It was fear and it plagued him. I chuckle to myself as I bring my long ax up in both hands. I run towards him. He takes on a defensive posture, blaster ready to fire. I needed a good death. _

Rey's exploded from the mirror, spit out abruptly from its body, landing on her hands and knees. The rough stone floor bit into her, it stung. Her lungs pulled in short, deep breaths as she stayed hunched over the ground. What had that meant? Was he dead? Whoever's eyes she had seen the attack through, they fully intended on killing him. She felt the sorrow creeping back up to her chest. She took an arm off the ground, shifting her weight, and beat her chest until it disappeared. She had no time to focus on that right now. There was one thing that was abundantly clear to her, the Knights of Ren were responsible for all the deaths of the troops. Responsible for _his_ death. It relit the fire within her. It burned hotter, more violently. Now knowing who carried out the attack, she had a purpose. The rage, the loss, the pain were directed and linearly driven. Rey knew what she wanted to do once she got her hands on them. She was going to kill them all. Relish in their deaths. Killing one by one, so they knew their days were numbered. Her legs tucked into her chest as she moved her arms off of the ground. She pushed up, standing tall, poised. She was going to save the Knight with the ax for last. She knew she was going to savor the hunt.

Rey looked up at the opening of the cave above her, the rain was pouring in and falling into the pool at a steady pace. She commanded the Force, focusing it on her legs, and sprung up into a jump. She leaped to the mouth. Her body flung hard into the jagged rock. It knocked the air out of her as she clung to the lip of the entrance. She used all her strength to claw herself out. Her face contorted, squished together, her teeth bared, and jaw clenched. Her arms alternated as she tried to pull herself up. Every muscle in her arm felt as if it was being stretched to their furthest extent. But she had to keep going, she was on a mission that she had to finish. After what seemed like forever, Rey collapsed on the rough landing outside. The ocean crashing below her. The rain fell on her body, her face, letting it wash over her, allowing the chaotic energy seep in through her pores. This is her, this is her life now.

For a moment she lay there, resting and unwavered by the rain hitting her face. The mirror showed her what she needed to see, but why did she still feel so empty? She pondered the thought of the hunt and how it excited her, but it still would not bring any of them back to life. But that did not matter to her anymore and she accepted that fact. She wanted to cut them up, unleash her wrath against them. She had nothing, no one, to live for anymore. Their deaths had relinquished the bonds that tied her to being human, being who they needed her to be. She did not care if she died in the process, her life meant nothing now. The only thing that mattered to her was the hunt. A burst of maniacal laughter exploded from her chest. Yes, that was the only thing now.

The airstrip was untouched as if the Knights of Ren had known no one was going to make it out alive. Well, no one except Rey. Why had they not finished her off when they had the chance, why not make sure she was dead? The Millennium Falcon stood proud in the grassy field. The brilliance of the white paint faded through the years but still stood out against the grey storm. Its ramp was open, welcoming her in. As she drew closer she thought of what dark corner the Knights of Ren would be hiding in. Most definitely in the Outer Rim, but that would not be her first stop. She was heading to the frigid planet of Kijimi. She needed information and with all the criminals that had a residence, they were bound to have information on the Knights of Ren. Anything at this point would propel her mission in finding them.

Rey stepped into her room, the automatic lights came to life. Nothing in here served a purpose for her anymore. She had let go of anything that tied her to her old self. She disregarded it as she made her way to the modest bureau in the corner. It still had not been cleaned off or organized. The top of the bureau was riddled with paper and books. But she came for one thing. The only thing that could connect her to this world. She crouched before the set of drawers, reaching out to the small knob of the middle cabinet. The black alloy dimly reflected the lights of the room as the crossguard lightsaber slid into view. This is all that was left of Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. It was bittersweet to look at, but Rey turned it into fuel. She needed to keep the fire burning, because if she stopped, even for a minute, then she would unravel at the seams.

"Don't worry, I will avenge every single one of you," Rey said to the deadly still room. But she felt the words with such conviction. Yes, she was slipping far from the Light and closer into warm clutches of the Dark. The man takes in the Dark, Dark takes in the Dark, and then the Dark takes in the man.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hello and welcome back to the next chapter. BEN IS DEAD ?! WHAT, BUT HOW COULD I?! Who knows! All will be made clear, but for now, we are going to Rey on her journey down a dark path *Ba Dum Tss*, bad pun, sorry. Come back soon for chapter fourteen. Sorry for the shorter chapters, but I think they serve a purpose like this. So, with that, thank you all for following Rey and Ben Solo's story up until now. I really appreciate all the nice comments and likes. You guys are the best! See ya' soon.

With love,

E


	14. Chapter 14: Rogue

Chapter 14: Rogue

The ancient ship whined as it settled on to its landing gear in the Kijimi City port. The Millennium Falcon was sure to pique the curiosity of the criminals in this city. That was exactly what Rey intended when she decided to take it over a Resistance ship. She needed them to be interested and wanted them to come looking for her. A sinister smile spread out across her face at the thought of the old saying of how curiosity killed the cat. One switch after the other, Rey shut the engines off before she stood up from the pilot's chair patting herself down. Lightsaber, check. Blaster in its holster, check. Satisfied, Rey turned and shimmied out of the cramped cockpit. She took in the ship, committing it to memory as she walked its circular halls. She was uncertain that she would ever see this ship again. For years it stood as a symbol of hope and freedom for the galaxy, and now Rey was offering it up as bait for her vengeful vendetta. She shook the thought out of her head as she approached the entrance to her quarters. The door opened with a hydraulic hiss, the lights skittering to life. The dim artificial light illuminated everything that bitterly reminded Rey of the girl she decided to let go of. Let the past die, an untimely reminder of Ben Solo's words surfaced in her thoughts.

Rey scowled at the memory attached to those words, pushing it down further into the darkness that propelled her mission. She approached the modest bureau when her hands collapsed on the small knobs of the top drawer of the dresser, sliding it open with a creak. A dark-colored wool cloak laid neatly folded before her. The dense material quickly unfurled towards the floor as she pulled it from its compartment. Rey looked at it for a moment, thinking it would do well in the climate of Kijimi. It felt rough on the exposed skin of her arms and shoulders, but it was the best way to conceal the most infamous lightsaber that sat hooked to her belt. The weight of the cloak felt comforting to Rey as she gave herself a quick nod before she headed towards the door. Her steps were determined as they echoed off the metal grating of the ship. Her adrenaline started to rush when she approached the open ramp, but she kept her face expressionless and her thoughts collected. Rey's hands rose to the collar of the cloak, grabbing the hood, and brought it over her head. The hood cast a shadow over her eyes that blended in with the darkness. She needed to look suspicious for her plan to work.

The day had ended and the sun was long gone. Kijimi at night is when all the low-life criminals come out to play. Criminals that were tuned into the underbelly of society; criminals that had the information she needed. The night air was frigid on top of the mountainous plateau of Kijimi City. Equally, the city was carved out from the same dark, rough stone. Buildings were stacked on top of each other leaving no space left for any new infrastructure in the old city. The wind blew through the thick cloak, nipping at Rey's skin as she walked through a tunnel that led from the port. She took in a deep breath, sensing the energy of Kijimi. It was overpowered by a deep, sinister force; barring any good from living here. It was quiet, Rey thought as she continued further into the city, making her way to Thieves Quarters. She took in her surroundings, making a mental map of the city. She made note of the endless series of stairs and maze-like alleyways. No light lit her way as she passed an endless row of hovels that were elevated at different heights, and in the night they looked like nothing fruitful could come from them. Most looked as if they were on the verge of collapsing.

Her ears perked up at the distant sound of lively music and indistinct chatter that flowed out into the open air. Rey's feet pounded on the roughly cobbled stone streets as she ran towards the sounds. She rounded a sharp corner of a building, continuing straight down a nameless street as the sounds grew closer. She stopped at the end of it before taking a right into an alleyway. The music and voices became closer as she stepped into the next street. Thieves Quarters was alive with people and dim lights that were strung up, zig-zagging from building to building. Make-shift stands littered the alleyway with crooks for customers making their way from stall to stall. The patrons held up merchandise from the tables, examining them. Some were huddled in the streets talking and laughing. As innocent as this place looked on the outside. Rey knew that this was the place where she would find the answers to her questions.

She continued down the road, further into the belly of Thieves Quarters, passing weapon dealer's shops that were dark inside and had bars for windows. As she walked, she kept her head held high, but any time a passerby looked at the cloak clad Rey, they hurried out of her way. The crowd split around her, avoiding the malevolent force that exuded off her. If this was any other circumstance Rey would have thought she had forgotten to take a shower or maybe to brush her teeth, but this she knew to be her newfound power seeping from every pore. It invigorated her and for the first time in her life, Rey felt truly free, free of the contracts that tied her to the Jedi. But, most importantly she was free from the ties to her former self. It made her fearless, dangerous. All of the newfound energy that would have been wasted on relationships and emotions was now tied into this quest for vengeance.

Rey stopped at the door, peering into the bustle of a cantina. She looked up at the metal sign naming the cantina Keiran's Watering Hole. She brought her gaze back to the crowd that was made up of all sorts of species; Human, Zabrak, and Togrutas alike filled the cramped space. She sat at the archway looming like a dark harbinger with intents no one was prepared for. Rey crossed the threshold, gliding past the patrons. Each took one look at her as she passed before they quickly looked away from her seemingly black eyes. She never felt so many eyes swivel in her direction. The Dark felt good, its fiery clutches made her feel alive with power. The lively air of the cantina turned tentatively aware of the young woman whose sinister will poured out into the air of the room. A human male and female Togruta stood together talking, catching a glance of cloaked Rey. Their eyes expressed a quick glimmer of fear before they looked away and tried as best as possible to get out of her path. She walked past the couple without as much a second glance or thought.

The far side of the cantina was dedicated to serving the patrons. The bar was dark stained wood with basic wooden stools that creaked as Rey's weight settled on it. The barkeep, a waitdroid whose paint was chipped and faded green, came up to Rey and with a mechanical voice, asked for her order. Without looking up from the bar's surface Rey asked for water. She needed to keep a clear head as she waited for her prey. She kept the cloak on with its large hood up, knowing the word was spreading of the figure in a cloak was spotted arriving in the notorious Millennium Falcon. One corner of Rey's lips tilted up in a smirk as she chuckled to herself. Her plan was perfect and the ones who looked for her had no idea the horror she was willing to unleash on them for information. She sipped her water, it was recycled and had metallic notes to it as it touched her tongue. She grimaced at the taste of the water as the vision from the Knights of Ren came back to her. Her hands gripped her glass with white knuckles while the knight's rage and need for blood poured through her again.

Even a week ago, this would have frightened her. She knew that the Dark always existed within her, and like Ben Solo, she struggled to keep herself balanced. But now, that Rey is dead; she died on Ahch-To. This Rey relished in the Dark's warm hold and was enthralled with the hunt and was willing to do anything to get to the Knights. Willing to do anything to bury Kylo Ren's lightsaber deep into the Knight's flesh. A man's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. They were off to the side of the room speaking loudly of finding the pilot who flew the Millennium Falcon to Kijimi Port. Rey smiled in the shadow of the hood, her teeth bared. She couldn't help the excitement from surfacing and altering her stoic expression. So it begins, Rey thought to herself, the smile still plastered on her face. She took another drink of water before collecting herself, wiping the grin away. She used her hands to push off the bar to stand. The crowd hardly noticed her now, used to the darkness that loomed over her as she moved through them. She slinked out the door trying to be as suspicious as possible by walking by the man who spoke too loudly, but she pawed at the idea that it was on purpose and he already knew who to look for.

The street was still bustling with merchants and buyers. She walked past them with silent, graceful steps. Rey listened closely for footsteps that matched her pace, waiting for the man to catch up. But there were multiple behind her that echoed off the cobbled street. Rey hovered a hand to her back, just over the black alloy hilt of the lightsaber as she took a sharp right into a dark alley. She needed the next events to be private, away from prying eyes. The melody of different gaits followed her down into the secluded and pitch-black backstreet of Thieves Quarters. The aggressors not knowing they were the ones who were the prey, were being lured further away from the crowds. Rey took a left, zig-zagging through barren streets and alleys before she stopped at a dead end. She kept her cloaked back to them. They all filed in just feet behind her and from what she could tell there were at least four of them.

"We are done playing this game, Han Solo. Where's your big furry friend, huh?" The same male voice sounded behind her with sarcasm and arrogance lacing through it. The leader, Rey presumed, of this ragtag team of crooks. The group sniggered at his remark before settling down, waiting for a reply. Rey offered up a hidden smile of her own, internally laughing at the simple genius of her plan, but she could not contain it; it was too tempting to resist. Her laughter erupted, bouncing off the stone walls, filling the silent air. Her amusement started to break and twist into maniacal bursts, contorting into short, beastly breaths.

Rey pivoted, her breath ragged with madness, to face her aggressors. Even with only the moon for light, Rey could see the looks of horror in their eyes. The leader was a tall human, dressed in khaki and dark grey colored clothes that fit his form. He was surrounded by three other human males that matched his ensemble. A female Chiss whose blue skin and red eyes looked as black as the night. Rey had to admit that this was the first time she had seen one in the flesh. She was the only one who did not look scared of the cloaked figure before them. How assuming that I am the one not leaving here tonight, Rey's thoughts shot like a bullet in the night at the female Chiss as her demeanor quickly shifted.

"Who are you? You are not Han Solo." The leader's voice faltered slightly, fear gripped the back of his throat. A corner of Rey's lips could not help but rise in delight at the panic that was inflected by the mere sight of her. Her hands hung at her side began to twitch, flinging his four friends to the wall. Their bodies hit with hard thuds on the stoney surface. They cried out with short sounds of injury, trying to escape the invisible hand that held them there, feet from the ground. The leader's muscles jerked, ready to abandon his comrades and run from the dark-cloaked woman in front of him. Rey walked towards him with eerily graceful steps with her other hand outstretched. Fear panged within his beating chest and Rey could feel it driving his urge to run, but she had him in her clutches.

"Me? My name is of no concern to you. What does matter is how you answer my questions." Rey was right in front of him now, circling him like the prey.

"What is your name, hm? Tell me." Her voice was low, demanding and absent of emotion. It unnerved the quivering man that was glued to the street. He had nowhere to run now.

"My- m," the man shook trying to spit the words out. Rey reached out with the Force, grabbing the man's throat, applying enough pressure to make the man begin to struggle for air. His eyes bulged and widened with panic, his impending fate setting in. She released her hold; she couldn't have him die on her until she got what she came for.

"My name is Rogue." The man spat out between rough gasps for air that filled the silence between them. Rogue's team, deathly still. Maybe she had thrown them too hard. She stared for a moment into the eyes of this man, reading them for a moment. Fear. Fear that panged at the forefront of his mind at the impending thought that he would not leave here with his life intact. Rey mocked him, laughed at him, and almost felt sorry for his pathetic existence.

"Good. Now, Rogue, tell me; what do you know about the Knights of Ren?" Her voice was absent of all inflection and emotion but was filled with the Force, using it to coax Rogue to tell the unadulterated truth.

"The Knights of Ren are a group of Force-sensitives that are affiliated with the First Order, but I don't know them. All I know is that they are evil fuckers and they pass through here sometimes for their little parties. I swear that is all I know. Please let me go and I swear I won't say anything about tonight." Rey perked up at the information. Her heartbeat a little harder, adrenaline began coursing through her. Kijimi is the Knights of Ren's hunting grounds, but are they prepared to be prey on their turf?

"And where do they stay for these 'parties', Rogue?"

"Right here— in Thieves Quarters in the market district. They hang around, looking for some fun." Rogue's eyes refused to look into the dark sinister eyes of the young woman before him. Something glinted in them, pleasure? Her eyebrows furrowed and the corners of her lips parted into a sickly, toothy smile as if to say she had no use of him anymore and now the part Rey had been looking forward to had finally arrived. Her hand raised once more in motion to clench again around his bruised throat.

"Wait! Stop— I know someone who is a friend of sorts to the Knights of Ren! If you kill me then… then I can't tell you who she is or how to find her. She's uh, not exactly easy to get to." the words spilled out of Rogue faster than he ever spoke before. His tone was frantic as he waited for the dark-cloaked woman to think over his fate. It seemed almost casual for her to mull over whether or not she wanted to kill him. And at this moment for Rey, it was.

"Fine," her hand dropped back to her side with almost a hint of disappointment to her voice, playing with the thought. Any information propelled her closer to the Knights. "You will come with me, but one false move, you so much as flinch the wrong way, and I will end your pathetic existence. Do you understand me, Rogue?" Rogue only nodded feverishly at her with relief flooding over him. His life was spared for that much longer. Maybe she would spare him, but Rey has shown nothing that would make him think differently.

"Good. Now, take me to this woman." Her tone was stern and instructive as she watched Rogue stand slowly. He was much bigger than Rey. He towered her with a built frame, but he dare not use it against her. She glanced to either side of her as she passed the limp bodies of Rogue's crew members. Their chests did not move, their eyes did not twitch. They were dead. Well, what a shame, Rey thought.

Rey strode behind Rogue with a watchful eye as they cut through deathly silent alleyways and abandoned streets back towards Thieves Quarters. Rogue walked stiffly in front of the stranger as if he had a blaster jabbed into his hip. And in all fairness, there might as well have been. Rey wanted an excuse to watch him squirm and gasp for air. The thought of it made her heart jump with excitement. Yes, the Rey at the beginning of this story was long gone. Left broken into pieces, fractured, on Ahch-To. Now, Rey clad in a heavy black hooded cloak stepped into the person she denied herself for so long. The person that had given up hope, nothing to live for, and one who gave in to the Dark Side. And, oh, it felt good. The power of it all left her reeling in a dull ecstasy. Its fire burned her skin, made her feel alive despite all who she lived for were dead.

The lively sounds of crowds and faint cantina music began to fill the air as they drew closer. The patrons that filled the street gave Rey one look in her hooded cloak parted, side-stepping out of her way as quickly as possible. Maybe it was the fact that none could see her face or it was the Dark Side that surrounded her and radiated from her that unsettled all she passed. They stopped talking for mere seconds to stare at the mysterious person walking up the lane before they turned back to their haggling and conversations. Rey paid no mind to the sudden shift in attention and if anything, she welcomed it. She needed to be noticed, but not known. By now, she thought, word had spread of a strange visitor arriving in the notorious Millennium Falcon and people would be looking for her, anxious to find the pilot in hopes that Han Solo had stupidly landed right into the lion's den.

Both Rey and Rogue walked wordlessly passed the local merchant's stalls and dimly lit shops that were visited by patrons that matched the most likely illegal goods the shops were selling. The whole city, and quite possibly the whole planet, was riddled with back-alley deals, spice runners, and murderers. This was just the place for Rey to start looking for the Knights. Rogue pointed just ahead, motioning that they needed to take the next left into a street that was not lit like the market street. It was dark but just as busy as the last one. The people walked around with a glint in their eyes like something wonderful had just happened to them. As soon as Rogue had knocked on a heavy metal door that was rusted and seemed to have been welded back together at least a dozen times, she knew why. The door opened to a towering round male Besalisk who blocked the whole door. He toted four arms, two stacked on top of each other on either side, covered in sickly greenish skin. He wore basic, weathered clothes that fit illy over his unshapely body. He eyed Rogue suspiciously before glancing at the hooded Rey.

"Rogue, it's been a while my friend." the Besalisk's voice was deep and raspy as he addressed her captive companion.

"Ah, yes, Gronhar, good to see you too. My friend and I were just stopping by for a drink. It is a special night after all for me. It's my birthday!" Rogue flashed a sort of toothy debonair smile at the Besalisk, his eyes darting back and forth from the sickly yellow eyes of the doorman to inside where electronic music boomed and laughter was spilling out.

"Hmm," The Besalisk's large spiny forehead furrowed and creased together, overall uncertain of the mysterious figure who had not said a word since their arrival. Gronhar pointed at Rey and spoke to Rogue again

"And this one, your friend. Who are they? Why the hood?" his voice was untouched by emotion but equally filled with rightful curiosity.

"Oh her? This is my childhood friend. Surely I have mentioned her to you. Ol'—" He paused for a moment trying to think of a convincing name for who is supposed to be a good friend. "Hannah. Yes, Hannah and I used to live next door to each other. She came to surprise me for my birthday! What a treat, really." Rogue flashed another nervous smile in an effort to quench the doorman's curiosity of his captor.

"Mhm… and why does Hannah wear that hood over her face? The folks in here might not feel comfortable with her around..." He put his enormous round, pronged head to Rey, trying to see past the deep shadow that hid her.

"I'm afraid that is rather a sensitive subject, but if you must know, Hannah as a child had an accident that left her horribly disfigured. She wears it as a nicety to others. But if you'd like, I can take it off." Rogue slipped his hands just over Rey's head, hands ready to grab the edge of the hood, and looked up at Gronhar.

"No!" He cleared his throat, his disgusting wattle shook violently before standing back upright in the doorway. "That is quite fine, Rogue, I'm sure there is no need for that. Come in and celebrate." The Besalisk pivoted, allowing them entry into the club. Rey peered in as the alien moved out of their way. It was dark and only lit with skittering blue and red strobe lights that danced across the whole club. There was a rather large and long oval-shaped bar that seemed to be stocked with every liquor imaginable to Rey. As they passed the doorway. All along the walls were dark upholstered booths with brassy finishes and plain black tables. They were packed with horribly drunk parties that laughed and talked, well yelled over the music. The whole room was packed, everyone, aliens, humans, and even humanoids were shoulder to shoulder and all swayed and pumped to the booming electronic music playing overhead. It was as if you did not have a table, then the rest of the club was the dance floor. Rey walked behind Rogue as they made their way deeper into the club. They brushed past each person with force just to make it out of the crowd before Rogue turned back to face Rey.

"This woman," he was shouting just to be heard over the wordless music "To be honest with you is a prostitute. She is the Knights' favorite here. Follow me and don't say a word. Let me do the talking," he said as the dim blue and red lights carved out his cheekbones and chiseled his jaw. If this was any other circumstance, Rey Would have said that Rogue was attractive. She offered no reply to him as they continued to an unlit archway covered by a deep red velvet curtain. Rogue went first through the arch, parting the heavy curtain. It was lit by dim candelabra style light fixtures that were mounted on ornately patterned wallpapered walls. It was only a long hall in either direction with only closed doors breaking up the patterned walls. They turned left and headed toward what seemed to be a parlor, old fashioned styled. A large wooden reception desk was occupied by a woman dressed formally. Her hair was back in a tight bun, shadow and lipstick touched her eyes and lips, and wore a long flowing silk dress. Rey looked around the room. The same ornate wallpaper and light fixtures flowed into the parlor and was accompanied by a large leather tuft-backed couches and armchairs. Rey supposed it was fitting for a brothel.

"Ah, yes, welcome back, Master Rogue," The beautiful woman looked up from a thick leather-bound guest book that seemed to be running out of pages, glancing at the handsome returning customer and unsettling cloaked stranger. "Will it be your usual girl?" Rogue stiffened up at her words, embarrassed.

"Oh, ha, no, Ravina, not today. My friend behind me," Rogue turned on the charm in his voice that turned silky, on the attendant, gesturing to the hooded figure behind him, "See, he's shy and would never ask, but I was hoping we could spend time with Mevromeena. Everyone says she's the best. It will be just our secret." He gave her that same cocky debonair smile as he lied through his teeth, searching her eyes. She blushed through the heavy makeup and cast her eyes down, unable to take his devilish smile any longer.

"Fine, but don't you dare let a word of this out. You know what happened to the last man that tried. We are lucky those Knights of Ren did not burn the whole place down. And if it is going to be the two of you, it will cost you extra, Master Rogue. Two-hundred credits due upon your finished appointment." Ravina smiled once more at Rogue before gesturing as they followed her back down the hall. Rey watched the two in front of her coldly, watchful for any sign Rogue might tip off the woman.

The woman stopped at the last door in the hall, pulling a key from her pocket. A dainty pale hand rose in a loose fist, rapping lightly on the wooden door. "Mevromeena, dear, you have guests," Ravina spoke in a sing-songy voice as her key slipped into the door, unlocking it.

"Whenever you're ready." She strode away back down to her post and left Rey and Rogue to their own devices. Rogue did not look at his captor, he just took a deep breath and collapsed a large hand on the brass doorknob. The door pushed opened to a medium-sized room lit by dull candles. A large, frameless, feather bed sat tucked off in the furthest corner covered in silks, cotton comforters, and plush pillows. The sensual decor and overall ambiance were truly fitting for the services they provide here.

"Welcome, Masters." a younger woman sat in the opposite corner at a dark-stained vanity, brushing her long brown hair staring at them through the reflection of the mirror. A silky blue robe hung effortlessly off her shoulders, exposing a graceful neck and softly defined collarbones. Candlelight danced in shadows on her pale skin and sharp features as her large, sultry eyes stared at them. Rey promptly took off her hood. The prostitute turned in her chair with a devilish grin spread across her lips.

"And Mistress. Oh, I do love a good game. It's been ages since I had some fun. Those brutes are savage and have me especially reserved for them. But I expect, Rogue, that you and your beautiful girl won't play rough with me, will you?" her eyes and lips turned pouty as she looked at them reciting the Knights of Ren's manner with her.

"My Girl? Beautiful—" Rogue's tone was riddled with wild confusion as he turned to look at his captor. He studied her. Her hair was a deep shade of brown that hung past her shoulders, that is given the absence of bright lights, a soft graceful yet sharp face, and eyes that were touched by sadness and burning with anger. Up until now, she had been faceless, unnerving. Her sun-kissed skin seemed to glow in the candlelight. He could not process the fact that a beautiful young woman could be capable of such ferocity and malice. Her eyebrows furrowed and her face twisted into an ugly grimace. He had been staring too long, baffled at the situation he had found himself in. He cleared his throat before turning back to Mevromeena.

"I am afraid to disappoint you, Mevromeena, but that is not exactly what we are here for. See, this woman, that by the way is not mine by any means, is looking for any information on the Knights of Ren. I figured you are the closest thing to an expert given your… close relationship with them." Rogue had turned from his beautiful, mysterious keeper back to the silky robed woman in her chair. Mevromeena's pouty expression turned somewhat frightful at the thought of the Knights and what they might do to her if word was to get that she had given up information on them. Mevromeena shuddered, bringing back memories of the gruesome stories the Knights of Ren sat around talking about. She glanced at Rey, whose eyebrows were pushed together, casting an eerie shadow over her eyes. They unsettled the prostitute, Rey's eyes were seemingly black and bore into her with no emotion as she examined her.

"The Knights of Ren would kill me if I were to say anything about them. You don't know them as I do. They are savages with no respect for life. I am not their confidant, mind you, but I know things that would get me killed. Why do you think no one else is to request my services other than them? Because I know too much!" Mevromeena frantically stood up from her seat that creaked with the change of weight. The woman's hand collapsed around her chin, her bent arm sat in the palm of her other as support as she paced the room with worry on her face.

"Mevromeena, stop," Rey used a Force Mind Trick with a wave of her hand to calm the woman "Tell me all you know of the Knights of Ren." Her voice was cold and collected as she maintained direct eye contact with the prostitute. Her eyes softened as if in a steady, welcoming trance. Rogue sat there in disbelief of it all, stunned that Force users still existed.

"I will tell you all I know about the Knights of Ren. There are seven of them. The former Master of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren was never keen to seek out my services. He did not speak much at all, just let the other six have their fun. I do not know what they look like under all of their masks, but I could tell their new master is savage. His name is Ap'lek, he's the one that carries a modified Mandalorian ax. His mask is the most unsettling, it looks like a skull with hollow, soulless eyes. He is the one that gave me these," Mevromeena turned her back to them, dropping the robe slightly to reveal jagged, roughly healed scars that littered her back. Rogue's expression turned sickly at the sight of them, imagining what the Knight had done. The scars did not phase Rey, all she cared about was what Mevromeena had to say. The blue silky robe ran back up the ugly scars and rested on her shoulders before she turned back to them.

"Ap'lek is the one you have to look out for. Don't think for a second he will not kill you or I because he felt like it. These men are animals, rabid dogs for the First Order and they are due back here in a week according to my appointment list." Excitement rose from the depths of Rey at the woman's words. They were coming here, right into her clutches.

"Thank you, Mevromeena. That's all I needed." Rey said in a casual tone as her hand lifted, level with the woman's throat. Panic flashed in her eyes at Rey's words. It was true, the whore did know too much and now it was time for her to die with those secrets. Mevromeena's lips parted as if to plead with Rey, but all that she could muster were gurgling gasp as an invisible hand had her by the neck. Her body lifted in unison with Rey's arm as her bulging eyes stared down at her. Her hands scratched at her throat as if to pry the hand off. Her beautifully manicured nails clawed into her skin frantically, peeling layers of it with each hasty stroke. Rogue began to dry heave at the sight of the woman struggling in midair as she bore into her own dark, meaty flesh of her neck when blood slowly trickled out from rugged claw marks. Rey relished in the grotesque sight as her hand clenched tighter around the prostitute's throat. It fed that hungry fire that burned within her when there was a loud and distinct crack of Mevromeena's neck. Rey released her at once.

"Aw, shame. I thought you would last longer, sweet Mevromeena." Rey's voice was laced with a false sweetness as she crouched over her limp body. Her long brown hair was strewn across her lax face. Her last fleeting moments of fear permanently cemented on her face. Rey took the back of her hand and sweetly brushed the hair out of her face with a knuckle, almost admiring her more in death than when she was alive just moments ago.

"Well, Rogue, my my, you have been useful." Rey peered up, repositioning her arms on her bent knees, with a morbid smile on her face. Rogue had turned a shade of green and looked as if he was going to be sick at the sight of the bloodied prostitute.

"Why… Why did you kill her? She gave you just as you asked." Rouge spoke through heavy breaths as if trying to hold in his stomach contents.

"Why? Because like she said it herself, she knew too much. And who is to say that she would not turn around and tell the Knights of Ren that we came here asking questions about them? What matters now is that I have what I came for. And as for you, you have proved very resourceful. And it would be such a shame if you ended up like sweet, simple Mevromeena here, wouldn't it?" Rey's voice was calm and collected, unphased by what she just did. Rogue only nodded at Rey offering up no rebuttal to her argument. Rey turned her hood back up, once again concealing her face in a dark shadow as she began to stride back to the door, opening it back to the hallway. Rogue followed silently, still processing the events. The attendant, Ravina, looked up from the desk with a smile that quickly disappeared at the horrified look on Rogue's face. But before she could open her mouth Rey waved a hand before her eyes.

"You will go to the couch and fall asleep. When you wake up you will not remember that we were ever here." Rey kept a placid tone as she spoke to the woman. When she was done speaking, the woman held the same entranced look that Mevromeena had when his captor performed the same trick.

"I will go to the couch and fall asleep. When I wake up I will not remember that you were ever here." Ravina's voice matched Rey's placid, even tone. She blinked and walked out from the counter towards the couch almost mechanically. Rogue turned to Rey with a glint of amazement in his expression.

"What now?" Rey met his stare with shadowed eyes.

"Now, we go out and have a hard drink to end this night," Rey replied walking behind the counter. Her fingers traced around the parchment before coming to the corner of the fresh page, tearing the last remaining pages out.

"All the evidence we were ever here is gone. Let's go." Rey looked up at the awaiting eyes of Rogue before walking back into the club.

Rogue sat tucked in a booth resting his head on a hand that was propped up on an elbow on the table. His drink chilled his other hand as the condensation ran down the glass and onto his skin. His head was spinning from the night's events. He looked up at Rey who was sitting across from him, rotating her glass slowly as she watched him. In the dim lights of the club, Rey had put the hood down. Despite the evil and the horrid act he had witnessed with her tonight, Rogue couldn't help but notice that Rey really was beautiful, and maybe in different circumstances, he would have turned that debonair smile and charm her way.

"You know, I don't know what you want with me or why I am even still alive, but if I am going to work with you for the time being, can I at least know your name? I think you owe me that much." Rogue yelled over the booming music, eyes locked into hers. Rey sat for a moment, thinking it over when she threw her head back and her body shook with laughter, but only traces of it reached his ears over the music. She could not help but laugh at it all. It was the most human he had seen his captor since their meeting. Rogue had to stop his face from matching hers, it was so infectious. Her body calmed when the laughter had subsided. She nodded her head, gesturing that he follow her.

Both Rey and Rogue shimmied and side-stepped out of the booth as they headed towards the door of the club. The Besalisk doorman opened their door upon their arrival that revealed a dark street less busy than when they arrived. The mountainous air of Kijimi had seemed to drop several degrees in the hours that they spent in the club, Rey noticed as she closed her wool cloak around her. The large metal door creaked as it shut behind them, clicking into its latch. Rogue stepped beside Rey, rubbing his hand together as he blew warm breaths into them. Rey watched him, still waiting for any move that gave her the excuse to execute him. But to her surprise, he waited for her to explain the mess that he had been drugged into.

"Come, walk with me," Rey said, gesturing with her hand as she began to walk down the lane. Rogue stuffed large hands into his jacket staring ahead as they walked the moonlit streets. Rey did not make any effort for eye contact as she began to tell him her story of how she ended up here on Kijimi. It was painful to say the words aloud for the first time. The familiar fire began to reignite within her as she spoke, walking down empty streets.

"So, wait let me get this straight. You were a Jedi fighting for the Resistance and then the Knights of Ren came in and blasted their way through what was left of your forces. They killed your friends and I don't exactly know what to call him, your boyfriend? And you flew here in the most famous ship in the galaxy to track down the Knights?" Rogue spoke with his hands as he walked through the brief outline of events. Hearing her name left a bitter taste in her mouth as if it were cursed with bad memories. She looked up at Rogue whose broad, sharp features stood out against the shadows of the night. His eyes touched with a hint of amazement and waiting for her to reply.

"Yes. I am not here for a stealth mission, Rogue. I am here to track those fuckers down one by one. I flew here in the Millennium Falcon to be noticed. Think about it, my plan worked. You're here, aren't you? The day that they killed my friends, my family, was the day that I died. I am not the same woman anymore… I have nothing else to lose." Rey walked a few more paces before she realized that Rogue was not by her side anymore. She turned to see him with a look on his face. Was it pity? Sympathy?

"Am I going to get out of this alive?" His voice was almost a whisper that carried through the chilled air.

"I suppose that is up to you, Rogue," Rey said with a casual tone looking at him and in all honesty, she had not decided if she was going to keep him or not.

"Well tell me this then… What is your name?" Rogue spoke with command. It is true, after taking out his crew and making him bear witness to a gruesome murder, his simple request was something she needed to give him.

"My name was Rey '' her tone was almost sorrowful at the flashes over memories attached to that name before they were soured by images by the vision of Ap'Lek cutting through the Resistance and striking down Leia. Yes, she used to by Rey, but now that woman was gone. Now, she was nobody, bearing no name.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**What a doozie as we get to explore how far really is willing to go for her loved ones. Yes, I know that I added an OC, but he helps the story along, I think. I hope you all liked the latest chapter! I know that I have been really bad about updating, hope this makes up for it! **

**With love, **

**E**


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